My Multitude of Mistakes By Lily Evans
by beonka
Summary: Head Girls aren't supposed to make this many mistakes, are they? On top of failed Transfiguration exams, skipping Head duties, and befriending Sirius Black, I think I've made the worst mistake of all. I think I may, perhaps fancy James Potter. Just a bit.
1. Mistake 1: Dumbledore

**I. Mistake 1-Dumbledore's Decisions**

I am Head Girl. Me. Lily Evans.

What was Dumbledore thinking? That was all I said when I opened my letter. My father picked up the letter, glancing at it before beaming.

"Well, Lily," he said proudly, ignoring my horrified expression, "This is wonderful!"

"What is dear?" my mother said as she joined us at the breakfast table with her tea. She was still in her bathrobe, and her blonde hair was still in her rollers. All three of us had always been early risers—unlike Petunia.

"Lily made Head Girl," he said smiling at me.

"I think it must've been a mistake."

Head Girls were supposed to be responsible. They were supposed to be smart. Hell, they were supposed to be perfect. I was far from Perfect. I thought Emmeline Vance would get it for sure—she was the Ravenclaw Prefect. She was very smart, relatively pretty, and dating the most popular boy in school. Although, perhaps Dumbledore doesn't care who she's dating…but still!

"A mistake?" my mother asks, giving me a confused look.

"Yes. Emmeline Vance was supposed to be Head Girl," I said, staring at the gold badge that had dropped out of the envelope.

"Well, I think you'll be perfect for the job," my father said, pulling out his newspaper. His hairline is receding more I notice as he fumbles for his reading glasses.

"Yes, your father's right Lily. I know you'll make a wonderful Head Girl," my mother attempted in what she must've thought a comforting tone.

They obviously don't know me that well.

I read through the letter again, as if thinking that its contents would change. It didn't. I suppose I

I'm really Head Girl. Well, if I could tell Professor Dumbledore anything—it would be what a big mistake he has made. Emmeline would've made a much better Head Girl.

Diagon Alley is something remarkable. I've always been fascinated by it since I discovered I was a wtich. It was just so magical.

Of course, _he_ had to ruin it.

He being James Potter.

If you didn't know, he was attempting to ruin my life. He hates me. Or loves me. Or something. He's really a difficult nut to crack.

See, I was meeting my mates—Marlene McKinnon and Selene Lovett. We always meet up at the end of the summer to chat about our summers, shop and all sorts of girlish stuff. Well. There was Selene's little problem.

She's sort of obsessed with the Marauders. I wouldn't say she was as bad as Mary, but Merlin, Selene, they are not god's gift to mankind! When I told her that, she ignored me and continued on about how she needed to find out if Sirius Black was single since James was taken.

Ew.

Why would you want to date James Potter anyway?

You know, besides the whole being popular thing.

Or the fact that he's good-looking.

OR that he's Quidditch captain.

Or that he can even be charming when he wants to be.

You know, none of those make up for the fact that he's an arrogant, selfish, spoiled prat. When I tell Selene, she just rolls her eyes. She's dyed her hair again. Now it's a dark mahogany. I always sort of wish my hair was that color. My hair is so…

Red.

Not that there's anything wrong with red but…

It clashes with everything. I suppose it makes people forget about all my freckles because they're distracted by the…er…vibrant color of my hair. Selene just tells me to shut up because my hair is gorgeous. Marlene—wait. Where is Marlene?

"She's not with us?" Selene asked, peering through the window of the bookstore.

"I swear she was just here—"

"Look who I found," came Marlene's singing voice as she came around the bookshelf, dragging Sirius Black by the arm. He looked thoroughly ruffled at being pulled by the petite, curly blonde haired girl, "Er—Lily and Selene wanted to say hi," Marlene explained, "Plus you looked lonely—"

"I told you," Sirius said exasperatedly. It seemed he had not come out of his own will, "I was waiting for my mates…besides," he narrowed his eyes, "Why would I want company with you lot?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I snapped, my temper flaring before Marlene could yell at him herself.

"Well," he glanced at me, "You're a Prefect for starters."

"Head Girl actually," Marlene butted in.

At this, Sirius's reaction surprised everyone. He grinned, "Really now?"

"I know, unexpected," I muttered.

"Will you quit that?" Selene interrupted, sounding annoyed. She had previously been staring at Sirius in awe. Now at least she was managing to shoot a smile in his direction. Well that was an improvement at least.

"Vance will be furious," he said delightfully.

"You don't like her?" I asked before I could stop myself. After all, everyone loved Emmeline Vance. Sirius just blinked.

"I never like any of James' girlfriends. It's nothing personal."

Well. That was odd and creepy. I was going to comment on it, and it looked like Marlene wanted to as well, but Selene spoke to Sirius instead, "Well, you probably don't want to be wasting your time here…"

Sirius shrugged and turned to Marlene, "Why did you drag me over here again?"

"To annoy you?" she said shrugging. Selene seemed to let out some of the tension in her shoulders when Marlene said that. What did she see in him anyway? "It seemed like a better idea before. I'd forgotten how much yo annoy me."

"I annoy you?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows raised. Selene and I exchanged glances. Marlene and Sirius were about to blow up in each other's faces.

"Well, if that's all, you best be going," I said briskly, "We have books to buy, people to see…besides, aren't your boyfriends waiting—"

"Padfoot?" came the voice of another infamous Marauder. James. Of course. You see, back in fourth year, he'd sort of…well…fancied me. Then when I turned him down, he made it his personal vendetta to humiliate and embarrass me forever more, "What are we doing over here?" he said, glancing at the three of us. Selene had turned a light pink and busied herself by searching through her bag.

"Guess who's Head Girl, mate," Sirius said, nudging him, "_Evans_."

James blinked and turned to me. I know. He was expecting lovely Emmeline to be Head Girl. But it wasn't my fault. Professor Dumbledore had obviously made a mistake. He was just… "Really now?" James said, a grin forming across his features, "Interesting."

"Yeah," I managed. Wow. That was articulate.

"Do you have any idea who the Head Boy is?" he continued, grinning slyly. I just blinked at him.

"Er—I hadn't actually thought about it. I thought it might be Amos—"

"That Hufflepuff prat?" Sirius asked.

I ignored him, "Or maybe Garreth Brooks…"

"What sort of name is Garreth?" James asked.

"What about Moony?" said Sirius.

"Garreth is a fine name," I said shortly. Then I looked at Sirius.

"Who the hell is Moony?" Marlene asked, blinking at him asking the question I'd been thinking.

"Remus," Sirius said, grinning again.

"What are with those stupid nicknames—?" Marlene was about to get started on her tirade, but I interrupted her.

"Well, it's not like Dumbledore would make a Marauder Head Boy…why are you laughing?" I said as they all broke out into laughter.

"They know," Selene pointed out. I glanced at her, "They know who the Head Boy is."

Well. Selene was the observant one.

"Oh—who is it then?" I asked tiredly.

"Are you sure you want to know Evans?" James teased, his eyes bright.

I rolled my eyes, "If you don't know that's fine—"

"Of course we know," Sirius said, collecting himself, "It's Prongs."

We all stared at him, and Sirius tutted impatiently, "You know, Jamsie here."

"Well if you used his actual name—" Marlene broke off and looked at James peculiarly, "Wait—what?"

"I'm Head Boy," James said, sounding pleased.

What?

Seriously?

You have got to be kidding me.

"You alive there, Evans?" Sirius asked, chortling.

Why would Dumbledore do this to me?

Why would Dumbledore do this to anyone?

The school will fall apart in his hands. Not that he has that much power anyway…but the power he _does_ have he'll definitely abuse.

Definitely .

"Evans?" James was waving his hand in front of my face, and both Marlene and Selene looked worried.

"Get your hand out of my face," I snapped, feeling my blush rise. Why oh why do these things happen to me?

"So…you and I…those late night patrols," James waggled his eyebrows.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Selene asked, crossing her arms, giving him a skeptical look. James said nothing but just continued to smirk at me.

"Well, now that my day is thoroughly ruined, I think I'd better be heading off," I said, giving him the worst glare I could muster. Without another look, I pulled Marlene by one arm and Serene by the other and stalked off.

Great, I thought as we headed back towards the leaky cauldron.

My appointment seems like a trivial mistake compared to James.

James Potter? Head Boy? Merlin.

The world really is going to the dogs.

**A/N: Hello! I am going to try and not be too cliche with this story, but I also want to stick with the canon. Let me know what you think. :)**


	2. Mistake 2: Who Invited Emmeline?

**II. Mistake 2—Who Invited Emmeline?**

Emmeline is in our compartment.

Who invited her?

We are back to school which means we are on the Hogwarts Express. I'd already gone and attended that stupid Heads meeting in which James acted like a total idiot—I'm not even going to bother recapping it. Low and behold, I return to see Emmeline and James in the compartment. Selene and Emmeline are chatting, and James looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. At least Marlene was glaring at him. I knew we were best mates for a reason.

"How did you get here before me?" I demanded as I situated myself across from Marlene.

"Lily," Emmeline said, smiling showing every perfect white tooth. Urgh, "How was your summer?"

"Terrible," I said attempting to smile.

"Lily," Selene shot me a stern look, "Lily's just…er…"

"Upset that James is Head Boy?" Emmeline asked shrewdly, "I know. We were all surprised weren't we love," she cooed at James. James just ruffled his hair.

"Yeah. Surprised," he said dully, shooting me a look, "Let's get out of here, yeah?"

"No, I'm talking with Selene," Emmeline said briskly turning back to my mate.

Selene invited her? Everyone knows I can't stand her—Selene especially! I mean I guess everyone doesn't know. Emmeline doesn't know I can't stand her, but what can I say? I hate her because she's too…perfect? She's perfectly nice to me. She's ridiculously smart. She's pretty and well liked by most people.

Except me.

I don't even have a good reason.

I suppose I could say she has a bad taste in men. Yeah…I'll go with that. I can't stand her because she's dating Potter. Well. That just makes me sound jealous…which doesn't make sense. If I'm jealous of Emmeline, it's not because of James Potter.

It's because she's passing Transfiguration with flying colors.

"I never did say Congratulations, Lily."

"What?" I asked, forcing myself to look at the brunette girl. Her hair was so…straight. It didn't ever frizz. It was the perfect length, just above her shoulders, held back by her headband.

"I was saying congratulations on Head Girl," she said, smiling pleasantly. I tugged on my red braid. My hair had been such a wreck this morning that I'd just given up and braided it.

Mine wasn't straight.

It was a mass of curly red waves. Marlene used to joke that they'd turn into red snakes one day and I'd be a redhead Medusa—only more terrifying. I don't know why she ever thought that was funny. Marlene has always had a shitty sense of humor though.

"Oh—thanks. I thought it was going to be you," I admitted before I could stop myself.

Emmeline just gave a tight smile, "Yes…well…I'm sure Dumbledore knew what he was doing…" she trailed off and gave me a bracing look, "You'll make a lovely Head Girl, Lily."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Emmeline turned back to Selene, and I caught Marlene's eye. She just gave me an unreadable look. I had just crossed over so we could whisper properly without Potter eavesdropping—he's been sulking in the corner—when the compartment door opened.

"There you are Prongs!" Sirius cried cheerfully. Prongs? Following behind him was a mousy haired boy who was a head shorter than Sirius. He grinned at everyone.

"Hey."

That was Peter Pettigrew. I waited, knowing the other was sure to follow. Sure enough, the tall and thin Remus Lupin ducked inside. He looked extra pale today, and his sandy blonde hair was in disarray. He hadn't shown up in meeting, and I sort of wanted to ask him where he'd been, but I held back. I probably didn't want to know. Around those four, you tend to be better off if you don't ask questions.

"We sitting here?" Remus asked. He spotted me and looked away quickly.

Yes. I _know_ you weren't at meeting Remus, I thought, staring at the back of his head. He always tries to get out of everything. It was really irritating when we were Prefect partners. He always had to 'visit his mum'. Really now? I mean, Severus had his own ideas but they were so ludicrous… I should be more worried about Potter though. He'll be ten times as bad as Remus. I can already tell. Urgh…

"Sure," Emmeline said brightly, "I was just catching up with Selene here about our summers," she glanced at Marlene and me. I suppose we were being sort of rude…ignoring her and all. Not that she was talking to us either. Well…except for my 'congratulations'. I still don't know what her intent was with that. I know there's an ulterior motive.

Selene would tell me that I was crazy and need to quit jumping to conclusions.

Well, we'll see what happens when I'm right.

Emmeline is evil. I just haven't been able to prove it yet.

"Hey Lily," Remus said, sitting next to me as Peter and Sirius at across from us, "Hello Marlene."

I gave a curt nod. Who invited them again? Oh yeah…Emmeline.

I knew I didn't like her for a better reason than her having prettier hair than me. She brings the Marauders with her, and that's never a good thing. Oh yeah. Maybe I haven't mentioned it. They call themselves the Marauders—how childish do they get? I swear they still act like a bunch of second years.

"How was your summer?" Remus asked.

"It was fine," I said shrugging.

"I thought you said it was terrible?" James interrupted, cocking an eyebrow speaking me for the first time. He hadn't actually spoken to me at the Heads meeting—not directly. All he did was make 'funny' comments while I tried to explain their jobs as Prefects. He's so immature. Completely inadequate for this job.

I never will understand what is with that boy. One minute he's mocking me and the next ignoring me completely. Then he'll turn around and start flirting with me—oh Merlin's breeches I certainly hope not.

I wasn't aware he'd been listening earlier anyway. You know, since he was sulking about having to be within ten feet of me, "Er—yes—well—it was terribly…terribly boring," I corrected hastily, "Beside, Petunia's a right old cow. That's enough to make anyone's summer terrible."

Marlene snorted at this. She knew all about my sister, Petunia.

"What about a cow?" Peter asked, frowning as he tried to join the conversation, "You live on a farm, Evans?"

I rolled my eyes and didn't bother to answer.

"Who's Petunia?" Potter asked, ignoring Peter's question as well.

"She's her sister," Marlene offered. I shot her a glare. I did not need him knowing anything else about me. Who knew what he'd do with that information! I mean, I can't really see what he would do…but Potter is pretty devious when he wanted to be.

He could've been a Slytherin, I reckon.

I wonder what he would say if I told him that. I don't think he'd take it very well.

"Lily!" Marlene snapped.

"What?"

"Will you pay attention when I'm talking to you?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Sorry…"

I was distracted however, when Emmeline attempted to squeeze down at the other end next to James. Marlene was now squished against me, and I was squished against Remus.

"There really isn't room for this," I muttered. Marlene squeezed out and went to sit by Sirius, "I think there are too many people in this compartment," I said, giving the boys a pointed look.

"Yeah…well, good luck finding an empty compartment, Evans," Sirius said, grinning cheekily.

Did I mention I hate him?

Marlene snorted and looked to Selene, so I glanced at her too. Could Selene be any more obvious? She was staring at Sirius rather unabashedly, so I watched humorously as Marlene threw a jellybean at her head.

"Hey!" she glared at Marlene, "What? Are we first years?"

"I thought you liked the green ones," Marlene said shrugging, pulling out another jelly bean, "Or how about a nice red one…cherry maybe?" she asked, tossing it at Selene.

"Quit it, will you," Selene snapped, crossing her arms. She glanced at Emmeline for support, but she was sort of draped over her boyfriend forgetting that the rest of us in this compartment had to witness them.

"I missed you this summer," Emmeline cooed loud enough to get all our attentions. I mimed gagging at Marlene. Of course, we were now sitting across from everyone, so they all saw. Well, not Emmeline or James. They were rather…preoccupied.

Remus sniggered beside me, and I grinned, "What? I'd be embarrassed if I were her."

Although that's not completely true. I mean, I'd probably coo at my boyfriend too. Maybe not in public. I would never have this problem though because if I were Emmeline, I wouldn't be dating James Potter.

"Be nice," Selene warned me. I said nothing but crossed my arms. Marlene whispered something to Sirius, and he began laughing raucously. I noticed Selene's eyes narrow in their direction, so I tried to make it a more…er integrated conversation.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You probably don't want to know," Peter said, smirking.

"Wormtail is right," Remus said nodding, "You probably don't…"

"Marlene said it," I pointed out, "And what's with those nicknames anyway? They're stupid."

"I think they're cute," Emmeline said. Oh. I wasn't aware she was part of this conversation.

Shouldn't she be drooling over her boyfriend?

"Cute?" the three of them said in unison, all wearing looks of disgust. Even Potter looked revolted. I inwardly laughed…but not outwardly because Selene is friends with Emmeline for some weird reason and she's already upset with the fact I've been ignoring her the entire train ride.

"Yeah…you four," Emmeline giggled, "You're all so silly…isn't that right Jamsie."

Sirius made a loud coughing noise, and Marlene slapped his back. We all stared at him, "Jellybean?" he offered weakly.

Emmeline ignored him turning back to James talking about who knows what.

Probably Transfiguration.

You know, the one class that has made its life's ambition to give me hell.

But then Emmeline let out one of those giggling screams of hers. I know it's completely unfair to hate her for this because I've done the girly scream too…but not by myself. And definitely not on the Hogwarts Express where my stomach is rumbling because jellybeans are not a nutritious meal.

Sirius looks revolted as he stares at her. I chuckle, and he smirks at me.

"You know what I want to know Evans?" he asks in a low voice.

"Er—no?"

Why is Sirius Black talking to me anyway? Sirius just smirks and leans towards me and asks, "Who the hell invited her in here anyway?"

Marlene and I exchanged looks and laughed. Selene threw us both angry looks before turning back towards the window again.

I really don't mind though. It's her fault for inviting Emmeline in to begin with.


	3. Mistake 3: Failing That Transfiguration

**Mistake 3— Failing that Transfiguration Exam**

Now most people love the start of the year feast. Me…not so much. I think it's because I don't really like trains, so all I feel like doing after the long, insufferable ride to Hogwarts is crawling into my bed and falling asleep. Instead, I'm forced to talk to my friends and other dormmates—Mary McDonald and Jasmine Springs. They are nice enough. Mary is the resident gossip of the Gryffindor tower and often doesn't know when to keep her mouth close.

The problem is Jasmine is Mary's best friend, and she talks nearly as much as Mary does. Their conversations give you a headache. Trust me. I've lived with hem for six, going on seven, years.

Mary is short, and she cut her hair into a bob over the summer while Jasmine is tall and willowy with almost black hair, "Lily—your hair is long now," Mary commented that evening as I took out my braid.

"Oh…er..thanks," I smiled, "Your hair looks nice short," I offered. I mean, I liked it well enough. Although her ears seemed to poke out a bit more now…

I mean…er…oh forget it.

"Lily," Selene opened my bed hangings. I didn't move, keeping the blankets wrapped tightly around me. If I refused to open my eyes then I was still kind of asleep.

"Lily's still asleep?" came Marlene's voice, "She's usually the first one up. Oy! Lily! We're going to be late for breakfast!"

That did get me out of bed. I was starved having not eaten nearly as much as the others the night before. Throwing on my uniform, I tied my hair up and pinned my badge on. Perfect. Well close enough anyway. Marlene grumbled all the way to breakfast. She's never been a morning person. While I had to help hand out schedules, my mates went and took their seats at the Gyrffindor table. I would've asked Potter to help me, but he was no where to be seen.

Typical.

After helping Professor McGonagall hand out the schedules, I dropped into my seat reaching for a muffin.

"So, what do we have first?" Selene asked, looking to her schedule.

"Transfiguration," I grumbled.

"Why did you take that class if you hate it so much?" Marlene asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, you could've just taken Ancient Runes with me. You were good at Ancient Runes."

Right. And I'm not good at Transfiguration. I know, "So you have Ancient Runes first?" I asked, ignoring her previous statement.

"Yeah…" she trailed off, "Then I have a break and then Herbology…"

"We don't have Charms or Potions until the end of the week," I said, frowning. Those were my favorite classes.

"Well, I'm not disappointed," Marlene said, pouring herself more coffee, "Potions is such a drag."

"You could've taken Care of Magical Creatures," Selene began, but she fell silent at Marlene's glare.

Mary and Jasmine plopped in front of me, both chattering excitedly, "Have you seen him?" Mary asked giddily.

"He's sooo taller," Jasmine confirmed.

"And his hair?"

"I want to run my fingers through—"

"I still think Sirius is yummier though," Mary finished, looking to the rest of us, "Good morning!" she said chirpily. Marlene shot them all glares, "So, we have Transfiguration first?" Mary asked, beaming at us. She was way too perky in the morning. I noticed Selene was now looking down the table, probably trying to see if his hair looked extra soft this morning. My mates are so weird.

"You're in Transfiguration?" Marlene asked, giving Mary a skeptic look. Mary just nodded happily as she poured herself juice.

"I'm not. I have Divination," Jasmine said, smiling brightly.

Divination? Really? I never will understand why people take that class.

"Hello Mary, Selene, have you seen James?" Emmeline asked stopping by.

"No…you have Transfiguration first, don't you?" Mary asked.

"Yes…" she was looked down the Gryffindor table, "I'll see you there I suppose…I need to find James…" she said heading off as quickly as she'd come. I watched her leave only to be elbowed by Selene.

"What?" I asked grouchily. I must've been glaring. I hadn't _meant_ to glare. Oops.

"Why don't you like Emmeline anyway?" she pouted, "She's perfectly nice to you."

I have many legitimate reasons for not liking Emmeline.

1) She is better at Transfiguration than I am.

2) Her hair is way too straight.

3) She's dating James Potter.

4) She's really not as nice as she looks.

5) Did I mention that everyone loves her? They do. I still can't see why.

I am well aware that the above list may seem rather…er…bitchy? You would understand if you ever had to talk to Emmeline. It's enough to drive someone mad. Selene is still waiting for my answer.

"She just gets on my nerves," I said with a shrug, "And did I ever say I didn't like her?" I asked.

Marlene and Selene rolled their eyes, "You only glare holes in her back whenever she comes and says hello," Selene replied.

"Selene, she's hated her since third year because Emmeline made top of our class that year. Remember, Lils? You were green with envy," Marlene said gleefully.

She gets way too much pleasure out of this.

"Bugger off," I mutter, standing up.

"Where are you going?" Marlene asked, frowning at me.

"I have to study," I say automatically as I turn away. ('She does realize we haven't started class yet...') Selene's voice carried after me as I stalked away. My mates were so annoying sometimes.

I was really, really early to Transfiguration,so I sat and flipped through the first chapter again. I usually prepared extra for this class, but it didn't seem to do much good. Human transfiguration was the worst. It was just so…complicated. I hated it. Eventually, a few more students entered, including Severus. I was extra careful to avoid his eye.

I suppose I should explain. Severus Snape used to be my best friend when we were younger. He was the one who told me I was a witch, and he helped me when I first got to Hogwarts. However, I was a Gryffindor and he was a Slytherin. Eventually, his Slytherin friends became more important. They didn't like the fact that he hung out with a _mudblood_.

Then there was a huge embarrassing scene in front of the lake where Severus called me a 'mudblood' in front of the entire school. Regardless, I still sort of miss him sometimes. He was my best friend for so long. Now don't get me wrong—I love Marlene and Selene, but Severus…well, he was Sev. It's hard to explain. My friends never did understand why I hung around with him. I suppose they would just have to know Sev like I used to. He's changed though.

We all change, I suppose.

"Lily," Marlene dropped into the seat beside me, "I'm sorry I was making fun of your third year jealousy against Vance. Don't be angry now, okay?"

"I'm not angry," I said exasperatedly.

"Well," Marlene shrugged, "You're known for some of your more…er…rash and illogical arguments. Sometimes you get upset over nothing, Lils."

"That's not true!" I cried.

"It's so true," Mary said, sitting on my other side, "Mind if I sit here?"

"Well—"

"Thanks!" she said, placing her stuff down, "Oh, so you know what I did this summer? My family and I went on this Greek cruise," Mary's family was muggleborn too, I remembered as she went on about some boy she met on the ship until Marlene butted in.

"Sounds fascinating Mary—have you told Emmeline about it yet?" Marlene said, pointing her to the left where the Ravenclaws sometimes sat.

"No—I told her I'd save her a seat though. The only other Ravenclaws in here are Garreth, Benjy and Benjy's new girlfriend, Nicolette. Did you know they were dating? Jasmine just told me this morning…" Marlene's eye twitched a little at that, but otherwise she just turned away from Mary deciding to ignore her.

Great. I thought about moving to the empty seats still left in the back, but that's where the Marauders sit. I'd take Emmeline over the Marauders any day.

Sure enough, three of the four entered, filing in the back soon followed by James and Emmeline. Emmeline came up front while James went by the rest of his mates.

"Hey," Emmeline said happily. Marlene just nodded, not paying much attention. I muttered a weak hey and faced the front of the classroom. Professor McGonagall seemed to realize everyone was here, so she stood up.

"I see we're all present. Well, because you will be taking your NEWTs at the end of this year, I need to make sure you are all sufficiently prepared. Therefore, I will be giving you a test today—"

Everyone groaned. Me included.

"Now, now, this is just so I can evaluate what to work on the most to keep all of you prepared for your NEWTs," she said, giving us all stern looks. When we all continued to give her looks of disbelief, she sighed, "It's not for a grade," she said grudgingly. I glanced at Marlene and was glad to see she looked relieved too.

She began handing us our exams, and I stared at it. My mind felt like it had suddenly been wiped blank. I had read through things over the summer, so why did all these words seem so foreign? I glanced up, looking around the room. Everyone else was already scribbling away. I looked back down feeling all confidence drain being slowly sucked out by the flimsy parchment in front of me.

Eventually, I picked up my quill, flipping through the pages and trying to answer the questions as well as I could. Well, it wasn't for a grade, right?

The bell rang, and we all turned in our exams.

"It went really well, don't you think?" Emmeline asked chirpily as well all shuffled out of the classroom. I looked to Marlene, and we rolled our eyes.

I felt like I should be nice, so I said, "Yeah…but I don't really fancy having exams when we first get back."

"Well, I'm sure Lily's studying paid off," Marlene said rolling her eyes and looking at me, "You're always studying."

"I'm not always studying," I began to argue.

"Of course your not," Emmeline agreed, "You're not a Ravenclaw. Well, I see some of my friends, bye!" she said, heading over to a few of her Ravenclaw friends. I frowned, trying to figure out if she was trying to insult me or not.

"I really, really don't like her," I said, frowning after her.

"She is annoying," Marlene agreed.

"You know, the two of you really shouldn't talk about her that way…especially around me," Selene argued. She seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. I was going to ask her how Ancient Runes went, but Marlene interrupted.

"Yeah well—ooh, watch out, Sirius Black is headed our way!" she said, gasping dramatically and pointing down the corridor.

"What?" she panicked, "Where?"

Marlene burst into laughter, and I rolled my eyes while Selene flushed.

"That was not funny, Marlene!"

"I don't know what you see in him anyway, he's a prat."

"He's a good looking prat," I offered in Selene's defense, "Selene just wants eye candy."

"I do not," Selene argued, "Maybe you two should get to know him a little better. He can be perfectly nice—"

"Are we talking about the same person?" I ask, laughing.

"Yeah…and since when do you talk to him anyway?" Marlene asked, "You need to pluck up some Gryffindor courage and go have an actual conversation with him."

"Are you kidding?" Selene asked, frowning at us, "He would never date me. He's Sirius Black, remember? The only reason he talks to you Marlene is because you two play Quidditch together. We're not popular enough—"

"I still think he's a git," I said, cutting into Selene's ramble, "And he's spoken to you before."

"When?" snorted Marlene. I shot her a look. Couldn't she just be nice for once? Selene was obviously getting upset.

"I know," Selene mumbled, "It's okay. My crush on Sirius has never been practical anyway," she said, "I'll meet you guys in Herbology," she muttered, leaving as quickly as she'd come.

"Smooth," I said, frowning at Marlene, "I don't like him either, but you could be nice about it!"

"I'm just being honest," Marlene said with a shrug, "She's going to get her hopes up, and then she'll be really heartbroken…oh come on, you know you were thinking the same thing, Lily!"

So?

"I was not," I said, frowning, "Just give Selene a break, okay?"

"Fine," Marlene agreed grudgingly.

"Good. Now let's go find Selene," I said. I pulled Marlene by the arms as we went in search of our mate. By the time we found her, it was time for Herbology, so we headed down to the greenhouses.

Classes went by relatively fast, and I was starved by dinner time. I realized I was going to have to find Potter eventually since we would have to do rounds…urgh…but before I even made it to the Great Hall, I was stopped by Professor McGonagall.

"Miss Evans? Do you mind stepping into my office with me for a moment?"

Marlene and Selene hung back, exchanging glances, "Do you want us to wait?" Selene asked.

"No it's fine…I'll meet you at dinner," I said, before following Professor McGonagall to her office.

"Hello Professor," I said politely as I took a seat. I suppose she's giving me Head directions. What if she's demoting me? I mean, I guess that would make sense. Maybe Emmeline told her I was too mean to be a Head Girl, and that she would make a better choice.

Well, that would be bollocks, wouldn't it?

"Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall began, "I have looked over the exams from class earlier today, and I was surprised to find so many blank answers on yours," she gave me a pointed look, "Would you like to explain?"

What was there to explain? I thought it spoke pretty clearly for itself. I was rubbish at Transfiguration.

"I wasn't…er…prepared for the exam," I explained, "I just need more time to study and—"

"Miss Evans, you failed the exam," Professor McGonagall continued in her business like tone, "Now you scrapped by last year with an 'Acceptable' in your final exams, but this is not the work of a NEWT level class. You will be taking your NEWT exam this year, and I would hate to see one of my star pupils do poorly."

I don't know why, but Human Transfiguration was impossible for me. I'd never been very good at it. Previously, I hadn't been terrible at Transfiguration. I'd gotten an 'E' on my OWL (my only E by the way).

So now I just stared at Professor McGonagall, willing myself not to cry. I was failing Transfiguration? I had never actually _failed_ before. "That," she began, "is why I've assigned you a tutor until you bring your grade back up."

A tutor? Well…I could work with that.

"Okay," I said, grinning, "That sounds perfect."

"Now," she shuffled through her papers, "I was actually considering assigning James Potter—"

What?

You had to be kidding me.

"But I know about the disagreements between the two of you. Besides, he has Head Duties and Quidditch, so I decided to give the responsibility to a Prefect."

"Oh, thank you, Professor," I said gratefully. Anyone was better than James Potter.

Professor McGonagall smiled, "Yes, well, Miss Vance has already agreed to tutor you. I spoke with her just a moment ago."

Vance?

"Er—you mean, Emmeline Vance?" I asked in a-would-be innocent voice.

"Yes, of course," she gave me a stern look, "Is that a problem, Miss Evans?"

"No," I managed meekly, "Not at all.

I should have never failed human Transfiguration. Crap.

**A/N: I know, there hasn't been too much L/J yet, and it might take a little while. He will make an appearance in the next chapter (even if relatively small). :)**


	4. Mum's Mistake

**Mum's Mistake –Forgetting my Chocolate Éclairs**

"That sucks."

That's all Marlene had to say about my predicament when I joined them for dinner after meeting with McGonagall.

"Emmeline will be a great tutor, Lily," Selene attempted to encourage me.

"Yeah," Marlene took a large bite out of her shepherd's pie and swallowed, "Great." Only I picked up on her sarcasm.

"Oh shut up," I said, poking at my dinner. I had lost my appetite. I sulked for a few minutes just so they knew how awful this was. I mean, it was pretty awful.

I guess she is better than Potter, though. Can you believe McGonagall actually considered it? This faculty really is losing their marbles.

After getting over the whole tutoring issue, the three of us were ready our annual girls night. You see, we always did it after the first night back (the first night we are all too stuffed from the feast).

It's tradition. Selene had the Honeydukes chocolate saved up—she's a weird health nut and can avoid eating all her chocolate in one go unlike the rest of us. Marlene got Remus Lupin to smuggle us butterbeer, and I—well—I usually brought my mum's chocolate éclairs.

The only problem was she forgot to make them. She always sent them the morning of, and then I brought them and shared them with my mates. Perfect addition to a girl's night.

However, I didn't have any chocolate éclairs tonight.

I promised them I'd be right back when Marlene asked me to get out the éclairs. Of course, I had no éclairs.

You're probably wondering why I didn't just tell my friends that I'd forgotten them or better yet, say my mum forgot them.

First of all, Marlene would probably kill me. She really_, really_ likes my mum's éclairs. In fact, she kept bring it up all through dinner—you know, when she had a dozen different dishes in front of her. She just kept rambling on about my mother's éclairs.

They're not_ that_ good.

Well, maybe just a little.

"Evans," Potter had to almost jump back as I ran past him after flying down the steps and trying to make my way to the portrait hole, "Where's the fire?" he joked as I hurried through the common room.

"Chocolate éclairs!" I yelled over my shoulder, not bothering to stop and explain as I flew out of the portrait hole. I had to find the kitchens. I just had to. Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks.

James Potter. He knew every inch of this castle—including the kitchens.

Great Mum, I thought bitterly. She's making me fraternize with the enemy. The irritated Fat Lady opened up for me again as I attempted to collect myself and headed towards James who was with sitting with his mates.

"Er—Potter?" I interrupted.

All four of them turned and looked at me, as if shocked that I approached them. I guess they were. I usually avoid them like the plague.

"Can I speak to you?" I asked with the most confidence I could muster (which may have not been very much). He just stared at me. I cleared my throat awkwardly, "Er—just for a moment," I added quickly, feeling embarrassed. I don't know why. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. All I was going to do was ask him where the kitchens were. It wasn't exactly a secret that they knew where to find them.

Of course, it was a secret as to its location. They never told anyone though people had tried to get it out of them numerous times. Perhaps this would be harder than I thought.

"Yeah Evans?" he looked wary, "Listen, I promise I'll be at rounds tomorrow—"

Did he think I was about to yell at him? Huh. Interesting. "This isn't about rounds," I said quickly. He gave me a peculiar look.

"It isn't?"

"No," I said slowly, "Er—I actually had a favor—"

"You? Lily Evans? Are asking me a favor?" he asked incredulously, "As in me? James Potter—?"

"Yes, I think we're each aware of our identities, thank you," I snapped, "Will you help me or not?"

"That depends," he said slowly, smirking widely, "What do you want?"

"I want to know how to get to the kitchens."

James raised his eyebrows, "No," he said simply.

"What? Please? I'll—I'll do anything!" For some reason I hadn't thought that he'd say no. I mean, I guess he sort of hates me still, but I thought we were past that!

"Anything?"

"No," I rolled my eyes, "Not actually anything. I'm not totally stupid," I said, crossing my arms.

"The answer is still no—why do you want to know where the kitchens are? Head Girls shouldn't be doing such things…" he said, looking amused.

"I need chocolate éclairs," I said desperately. Potter just gave me a weird look.

"Okay," he began slowly, "Why do you need chocolate éclairs again?" I gave him a frustrated look before giving him a hurried and very brief explanation at the crisis at hand.

"And you can't just tell Marlene that your mum will send them later because…"

"Are you going to help me or not?" I asked impatiently. That's unusual. I'm usually a patient person. Sometimes. Occasionally. Okay, okay, you caught me. I'm not very patient at all.

"No," he said, shrugging, "Unless…" he turned his head over to his friends who were still sprawled across the chairs, "Oy! Do any of you lot want something from the kitchens?"

"Yeah," Peter said, nodding fervently, "Get me a few of those finger sandwiches I like."

Peter Pettigrew eats finger sandwiches? Potter noticed my weird look and laughed.

"Yeah…I know. Random, right? Okay…so here's the deal with this Evans…I'll get your _éclairs_," he said, stressing the last word as if it were all a funny joke. It most certainly wasn't. These were my _mum's_ chocolate éclairs. Yum, "But don't think I'll forget about this."

"What does that mean?" I asked immediately. Potter didn't say anything. He just smirked and swaggered out of the portrait hole. Okay. Maybe it wasn't a swagger….but it was definitely a strut.

I don't approve of James Potter strutting. It probably doesn't bode well for me.

Oh well. Potter was back with the éclairs in less than twenty minutes. I squealed excitedly and grabbed them hurriedly and in the midst of it, I _almost_ hugged Potter. Emphasis on the almost. I had the urge to, but even in my excitement, my judgment didn't lapse that much. Give me some credit. I'm not going to go around hugging blokes I loathe. That would just confuse all the parties included.

"You owe me one," he said cheekily.

"Right," I said rolling my eyes. I will never owe James Potter anything. I did give him an awkward wave though before I scurried up to my dorm.

"There you are Lily," Selene said happily.

"We thought you'd died," Marlene commented loftily as she painted her toenails.

"Or at least had gotten lost," Selene agreed.

Marlene, however, had now looked up and spotted the éclairs in my hand. She jumped up, ignoring the fact that she'd just painted her toes, "Oooh! Éclairs!"

"Here you go," I said, passing them to her and taking a seat on Selene's bed.

"Isn't it weird that this will be our last year doing this," Selene spoke out loud.

"Don't remind me," I moaned. I wasn't quite ready to have this discussion yet. We still had an entire year before I had to think about that. Well, for the most part.

"These éclairs taste funny," Marlene said as she began her second one, "They're not bad or anything," she added quickly when Selene threw her a sharp look, "Did your mum do something different?"

"Er—she didn't say," I muttered, looking away. Marlene could always tell when I was fibbing, so not making eye contact was necessary for me to fool her. Luckily, Marlene changed the subject—turning it to her favorite subject—boys. While I liked blokes and all, I always hated these conversations. Marlene would go on about the latest boy she'd set her eyes on. Selene would moon over Sirius Black, and I…well, I would sit there, nodding along until the inevitable question came along.

"So…Lils," Marlene smirked, "Who do you fancy?"

"No one," I said dully. They both gave me doubtful looks.

"That's not normal, is it Mar?" Selene asked, "She hasn't fancied anyone in…what? Two year? Even then it was hopeless because Frank Longbottom had been madly in love with Alice forever."

Oh. Right. I'd forgotten about him. He'd graduated last year—he was Head Boy and everything. I was a bit smitten with him in my fifth year. Neither James nor Severus had been too happy with that, I recall. Poor Frank. He never knew who'd been hexing him when he'd turn the corridors. Weird—I just realized James and Severus had something in common…probably the_ only_ thing they'll ever have in common.

"Yeah, we have to find you a boy, Lily," Marlene said, nodding, reaching for the last éclair. However, as she picked it up, a strange look came over her face, "These are the Hogwarts platters?" she said, realizing the gold tray had the Hogwarts crest on it.

Oh dear.

"Er—"

"I knew they tasted different!" Marlene said, pointing at me accusingly, "They weren't your mum's!"

"What does it matter?" Selene asked exasperatedly, "Marlene, sit down!"

"No! she lied—" Marlene cut herself off, obviously thinking, "How did you find the kitchens?"

"What?" I asked. How did she know they were from the kitchens? Well, besides being Hogwarts plates…ah damn.

"No one knows where the kitchens are. How did you—oh," a grin fell over her face, "Did Mr. Lupin help you?"

Marlene has always had this crazy notion that I fancy Remus Lupin. It's never been true. Ever. I'll never ever fancy a Marauder—not even Remus Lupin. (Though he is rather attractive).

"No," I said waspishly, "Potter helped me."

They both looked surprised. Selene's eyebrows were raised as she said, "You talked to James…willingly?"

"Without yelling or hexing him?" Marlene added.

"Oh come on, I'm not that bad," I said exasperatedly. They just gave me blank looks. Was I really? Argh, "What does it matter? I just felt bad that I forgot to remind my mum to send the éclairs…"

"So…you and James, huh," Marlene asked, "He went and got éclairs for you…" she teased, "I think he still likes you."

"Oh please," I said scowling, "He has a girlfriend, remember?" Whose name is Emmeline Vance and who also happens to be much prettier, more popular and manages to control her temper unlike myself…why would he fancy me over Emmeline? Seriously, Marlene doesn't think these things through sometimes, I swear.

"She's nothing serious," Selene said, waving it away. Er—wasn't she friends with Emmeline? Why was she encouraging this? "James has always liked girls with more…" she looked at Marlene.

"Spunk," Marlene said nodding.

"Spunk?" Selene and I echoed.

"Yeah, you're…er…full of that stuff…oh I don't know. Honestly, I always thought his attraction for you was odd…but opposites attract, right?"

"No," I said, beginning to wish I had never asked Potter for help. Marlene continued to go on about how Potter and I were actually suited for each other. Eventually, I shut her up with a pillow. It led to a typical pillow fight (in which Mary had attempted to come upstairs and got caught in the crossfire).

Once we were tired out, we both collapsed at the edge of her bed, "Well," Marlene concluded, "My prediction for this year—Benjy and I will be Hogwarts' hottest couple—sorry Selene, I know you think Black is more attractive. Selene will finally talk to Sirius…"

"I've spoken to him!" Selene argued, turning red.

"And Lily will finally give into James pathetic attempts to woo her."

"Excuse me?" I said. Was she kidding? Besides, he no longer is trying to woo me. Girlfriend! Remember?

"You heard me, Lils," Marlene smirked, "My predictions almost always come true."

Marlene made ridiculous predictions every year. Sometimes they were more realistic then others—this was one of her more outrageous ones.

"What about the one where you said Peter Pettigrew was going to be eaten by the Giant squid?" Selene asked, "Or the time that you thought Lily would turn Petunia into a bat for being so horrid? Or when you said that Snape would…" Selene trailed off as Marlene glared at her.

"Okay, so they haven't come true a handful of times, but don't worry…this year," she smirked, "I will be right. I can just tell." They both looked at me and burst into laughter.

"Right," I said sourly, giving them glares before I shut my curtains. They just continued laughing.

This would never have happened if Mum had just sent the damned éclairs because then I wouldn't have had to speak with Potter, and Marlene wouldn't have brought up that ridiculous notion about him fancying me.

Mum should be expecting a strongly worded letter tomorrow morning, that's all I have to say.

**A/N: I don't know how I felt about this chapter. It wasn't my favorite. R/R. **


	5. Mistake 4: Acquaintances

**V. Mistake 4—Acquaintances**

"How did the éclairs go over?"

I cringed at the sound of the voice. I had been trying to avoid him, and I had been successful until we finally met to patrol Friday evening.

"Hello Potter," I said briskly, "Let's just do this, shall we?"

He nodded, not bothering to say much else.

"So…er…Emmeline told me she's tutoring you in Transfiguration," he said after a prolonged silence.

Hm. She would.

Now everyone is going to know I'm bollocks at Transfiguration.

"Mmhm," I said disinterestedly.

It fell silent, and it was very awkward actually. It wasn't even a comfortable silence. It was more of his attempt to make conversation and me shooting him down. Ha.

Does he blame me? It's not like we're friends or anything. So when rounds end, I muttered a quick "Bye, Potter" and scurried back to my dorm.

I thought that this would begin something. Maybe he'd take my awkwardness as a clear 'I don't want to talk to you—ever.'

He didn't.

I know this because the next morning, he kept following me around. Weird and creepy, right?

Doesn't he have a girlfriend to bother?

I eventually lost him in the dungeons where I had an awkward run in with my previous best mate, Severus. Fabulous. My day just keeps getting better and better.

I should have listened to Petunia. She always said Severus wasn't any good, but Petunia's never ever right so you can understand why I ignored her advice—even before she began hating me.

Anyway, I went and hid out in the library deciding to work on Transfiguration after a narrow escape from Potter yet again (my first tutoring session was tomorrow—I had to be ready).

"James is looking for you," Marlene said when I returned to the common room that evening after a not-very-successful attempt to study for Transfiguration.

"Why?" I said quickly, glancing around the common room with him. I'm pretty sure I could make a mad dash to the girl's dormitories before he spotted me.

"He and Sirius left a few minutes ago," Selene said absently. She was flipping through her copy of Witch Weekly, not even bothering to look up, "Oooh…the Wizard of the Week is Francis Jacques…he's that French Qudditch Keeper."

"I don't like Quidditch players," Marlene said, scrunching up her nose, "They're cocky and annoying."

"Didn't you date Samuel Wood last year?" Selene asked, raising her eyebrow, "The seventh year Keeper?"

"Right," Marlene shrugged, "And it ended badly, remember? I'm no longer going to date Quidditch players…thank Merlin the new Keeper is a girl," she said smirking. Selene and I both laughed.

I sat around talking, not getting any work done, with my mates when I heard Potter's voice calling my name, "Evans!"

"Oh no!" I moaned, jumping up to make a dash for the girl's staircase, but Marlene pulled me down by my book bag. Selene was giving me a bemused look.

"Why are you avoiding him?" asked Selene.

"Yeah, why are you avoiding me?" Potter had appeared. He looked frustrated.

"I wasn't avoiding you," I said immediately. Of course I was avoiding him!

"I tried talking to you three times today. The third time you said 'there's no Lily Evans here' before running away to the library."

He knew I was in the library? Creepy.

"That wasn't me," I said quickly.

Potter ignored me and gave me a stern look, "Evans," he began, "I need to talk to you. Now," he added, glancing at my mates. Well. They are allowed to listen if they'd like. He has no control—

"We'll go," Marlene said nodding, "C'mon Selene."

"Right," she smiled, "Going," they hurried up the girls staircase. Great friends they are.

"Anyway," Potter is looking at me again. I sighed and crossed my arms.

"Fine, what do you need that you've been desperately trying to get a hold of me all day?"

"Us."

He said it so simply that I almost nodded, as if that was a completely normal response. Then I realized what he said. Us? There is no _us_.

"Er—what?" I managed. Wow. Way to be articulate, Lily.

He sighed, "Listen, we have to work as Heads all year, right? And let's be honest…patrols last night…" he gave me a sharp look, "That was painfully awkward."

Yeah. For you.

"Was it?" I asked innocently. He responded with a sharp glare, so I continued (gleefully may I add), "Maybe it hasn't occurred to you….but I just don't like talking to you," I said. Keeping it nice, simple, and honest.

He looked even more irritated by this than I expected, "This is what I'm talking about Evans! Listen, I realize I was a bit of prat in the past—"

"A bit?"

He gave me a cross look, "Fine," he said. I wanted to laugh, but it probably wouldn't have been appropriate. He was already getting a bit red in the face, "More than a bit…" he admitted grudgingly, "the point is, I'm not the same person I was when I was thirteen—or fifteen for that matter. We're adults now. I think we can handle our Head responsibility without trying to get on each other's nerves. We can…respect each other."

Er—come again?

Was this really James Potter speaking?

"Potter—"

"Listen," he said bracingly, "I just don't want to have to force you to talk to me during patrols. I'm not saying let's be best mates—that will obviously never happen."

Hey. What's wrong with being my best mate?

"But we can get along and be…acquaintances."

"Acquaintances?" I repeated skeptically.

"Yeah," he grinned, "What do you say, give it a go, Lily?"

"Er—sure," I found myself saying,nodding slowly in agreement. I'm going to blame it on the fact that he used my first name for once. Because hoenstly...what did I think I was agreeing to? My head was screaming…mistake!_ Mistake_! I sort of forgot though because he smiled widely. It wasn't his usual smirk or devious grin but a nice, happy smile.

"Brilliant," he said.

"Yeah," I still felt a bit off about all of this, "If you say so, Potter."

"Oh," he smiled again, "Just call me James."

I almost choked. Call him James? Who does he think he's kidding?

I think he noticed my skepticism because he just laughed and said, "It is my name, Lily—and we're not enemies. You call everyone else by their given names, yeah? Well, I better be off. Nice chat, I think," he said bracingly, flashing another smile.

He didn't wait for my response. Probably because it would have just ended in us arguing. I mean, does he seriously expect me to ever call him anything_ but_ Potter?

That's just ludicrous.

Marlene is going to get way too much pleasure out of this.

-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-

Well, Marlene was certainly entertained by the idea of Potter and I being acquaintances. She kept bringing it up all day. It was really getting on my nerves…which wasn't fair because my nerves were already frazzled.

Of course, I think we all know what today is.

Tutoring day.

Yay.

I can't wait.

Really.

In fact, I'm sitting in the library waiting for Emmeline. I'm early, but I'm kind of hoping she'll be late, so I can make her look bad…

"Lily!" Emmeline's cheerful voice came from in front of me. I looked up from my book and forced a smile, "You're early," she noted, "Excellent. We can just go and get started, what do you think?"

I think this is bollocks.

"Sure," I said easily.

Unfortunately…well actually I guess it _is_ fortunate…Emmeline is a great tutor. I mean, I don't have Transfiguration down in one session, but she is actually very helpful and now my homework makes a lot more sense. I suppose that's her_ job_.

I just hate that she's going to get credit for that.

"So," Emmeline said as we ended, and I began packing up my bag, "How are Head duties going?" she asked conversationally. Like she actually cares. Pft.

"Er—alright, Po—James and I had to patrol." See? I was trying. I called him _James_. Urgh. That just gave me unpleasant goosebumps. I knew being his acquaintance was a bad idea. Proper acquaintances don't give you goosebumps.

Emmeline seemed to notice that me using his first name was odd because she gave me a curious look, "You two are on first name basis now?"

"Er—kind of. He had a stern talking to me. He was trying to act mature…I don't know how long that will last," I added jokingly.

Emmeline didn't think it was funny. She pursed her lips in disapproval. Actually, it made her look a bit like Petunia now that I think about it. Huh. Another legitimate reason not to like her—the whole pursing the lip things—it says something about your character. You're just a fun sucker and not likable in my opinion.

"You know, James is a very different person than he was when he fancied you," she gave me a look, "he's more mature…" she smiled, "His tastes are more refined."

Hm. I suppose you're referring to yourself? I wanted to ask…plus a few other choice words. Instead, I held back a biting comment.

"Yeah, well, we're acquaintances now…friends even," Haha. Friends? What was I saying? "You're right, I think he's beginning to realize he needs to find new…uh…people to surround himself with," I said giving her a pointed look.

Yes, Emmeline. He should hang out with me instead of you.

Er—Wait. What? Thank goodness I hadn't said that out loud. Sometimes I don't think before I speak. Honestly. What is wrong with me tonight?

Never ever under any circumstance would I want to hang out with Potter! I just want to make Emmeline mad and apparently my mistake in becoming his 'acquaintance' has done that.

Jealous much?

Seriously. All we've done is referred to each other by our birth given names—I really don't think that means he fancies me or vice versa.

That was so fifth year.

But you know, I began thinking about it as we split off—her to Ravenclaw and me to Gryffindor—if becoming acquaintances with James Potter makes Emmeline jealous, this mistake just might be worth it.

Just a thought.

**A/N: A short chapter, but you got to see a small taste of Lily and James trying to be...nice. :)**


	6. Mistake 5: Not Stopping Remus

**Mistake 5—Not Stopping Remus From Killing Our Herbology Assignment**

Well, Emmeline really doesn't like me. It's official. We all know I didn't like her, but she made it pretty clear in Herbology today when I went to sit next to Selene.

"Oh, sorry, I saved this seat for James," she said, blinking innocently at me.I looked to my mates. Marlene looked disgusted, and Selene looked awkward.

"Maybe we can ask Professor Sprout if we can do groups of five," Marlene said quickly, shooting Emmeline an evil look.

"Professor!" Emmeline said quickly before I could say anything, "Lily doesn't have a group…James is with us this week. You think she should just join Sirius, Remus and Peter?"

She really is evil. Marlene is obviously thinking the same thing because her eyes are wide as saucers, "you can't make her do that!" Marlene hissed.

Emmeline just smiled, "What? Remus is very good at Herbology actually."

She was just trying to get to me. Everyone knew I didn't get along with the Marauders. It wasn't going to work though because I am mature. I can work with them for one measly Herbology assignment, I thought as Professor Sprout instructed me to sit over at the other table since more students were coming shortly. I walked over to the Marauder's usual table and placed my stuff down, not bothering to look at either of my friends. Traitors.

"Er—Evans?" Peter was giving me a funny look as the four of them appeared.

"You have a seat waiting for you," I sneered at James, "Over there," I said pointing at Emmeline. He looked confused.

"Boys, take a seat!" Professor Sprout called, "You're already late!"

James shuffled over, muttering, "I'll talk to you after class."

Hmph. Like hell he will.

We were not on speaking terms at the moment. Not when Emmeline was trying to ruin my life. Okay, so I guess it's only one Herbology class, and it isn't the end of the world…in fact, it probably wouldn't be that bad if I didn't have to sit next to Sirius Black.

"So…what brings you to our side, Evans?" he asks, propping his feet up on the table. Now I couldn't see Professor Sprout properly—I was trying to pay attention!

"Shut up," I muttered.

"Hm," he looked amused, "Not very polite I see."

"Do you want something?" I hissed.

"Well," he smirked, "When you put it that way…"

"Oh bugger off."

"Tsk, tsk, Evans, you're Head Girl. You should be respectful to your fellow peers…may I add that your looking lovely today."

"Can you just pay attention?"

"Don't be such a stick in the mud," he said with a yawn. I threw him a dirty look, "You know, live a little? Have you ever even skived class before? Stayed up past curfew? Skinny dipped in the Black Lake?"

"Are you joking?" I said, wrinkling my nose at the last one. First of all the lake is freezing…secondly—do I really have to even say the second point?

"Padfoot, leave her alone," Remus muttered from my left. Thank you Remus.

"Why? This is much more entertaining than Sprout…right Pete?"

"Mr. Black!" Professor Sprout barked at him. She was really young having started last year after Professor Buckleberry had retired. I liked her, so I really didn't want to get on her bad side just because Black was a complete moron.

I really had been planning on paying attention. I swear I can be a good student. I mean, there's always classes like Transfiguration in which I'll never do good in anyway…

But Herbology is totally manageable. Usually. The only problem was, I kept looking over at my mates who seemed to be having a spiffing time with Emmeline. Okay, so I guess that they were just paying attention to Professor Sprout like everyone else, but I expected at least Marlene to look a little depressed about it.

"Evans?"

Ow. I shoved Sirius away as he poked me with his wand, "Watch where you poke that!" I snapped. He'll end up poking my eye out or something. Sirius didn't seem perturbed.

"Well," he said, looking at me expectantly.

"We've got it," Peter and Remus said, standing and collecting a funny looking plant with large pincers. Oh great. Just what I needed—a dangerous plant…with my luck, I'd get eaten by it…or at least be visiting the Hospital Wing by the end of this lesson.

"What do you know about its fierce-tongued feelers that are mentioned in the book?" Sirius asked, flipping through our Herbology book.

"What plant is it?" I asked tiredly. I knew I should've been listening to Professor Sprout.

"The Octiverde Plant," Peter replied as they brought a plant with eight small feelers sticking out from the top.

I immediately backed away, "Those aren't just fierce-tongued—they're fire-tongued!" I said. Sure enough, beside us we heard a screech from Natalie, one of the Ravenclaws, as it spit out a flame.

"Yeah…I'm not touching this plant," I said, "Professor Sprout failed to mention that we would need protective gear—"

"Quit your whining, Evans…what's the worst that can happen?" Sirius gave me a look that clearly read 'live a little'. Yeah. And end up like him? No thanks.

"Fine, you do it then," I said, crossing my arms.

"Gladly," he put on one of his gloves and grabbed one of its little feelers, pulling off the seeds as he did it, depositing it into the bucket, "Easy."

Carefully, I took one of his gloves and did the same. The plant attempted to scorch me, but Remus had done a funny little charm muttering, "_Waddiwasi____."_ Its weird flame tongue seemed to shrink back, and if I wasn't mistaken the plant seemed to be swallowing it.

"Is that supposed to happen?" I asked unsurely.

"No," Peter said, tilting his head, "Moony…I think the plant is choking."

Remus cursed, trying to amend it, but it was too late. Its tethers had quit moving, and it became limp on our table. He coughed awkwardly, "I suppose that spell doesn't work right on plants," he said, giving us apologetic looks.

"We just killed the plant," I said rather frantically, "Does this mean we fail? I've never failed anything before!" I cried. Well…until recently anyway. Damn Transfiguration.

This better not be a becoming a trend.

"It's okay," Peter said, frowning. He tried to fix it upright, "Maybe we can pass it off as okay…" he trailed off as its tethers shriveled and began smoking.

"Oh no…hide the smoke before Professor Sprout sees!" I said hurriedly. The three of them just stared at me, so I quickly unfastened my cloak and threw it over the plant.

"What good is that going to do?" Remus asked in exasperation.

"It gives us time," I snapped, ignoring the smoking corners of my cloak, "What do you suggest we do?"

"We're going to have to tell her—" Remus began.

"Oy, I'm with Evans…can we say it ran away or something?" Sirius asked.

"Plants just don't run away," I said, frowning at Sirius. Then I paused, "Well, this plant doesn't anyway. The point is we have to say something believable…like…"

"Peter ate it?" SIriius suggested.

"Lily said believable," Remus reminded.

"I'd believe it," Sirius said with a shrug.

"I'm sure we can just tell her what happened, and she'll understand…."

"I can't risk that!" I hissed, "Okay…this is what I'll do…I'll bring the plant with me," I said, "And we'll dispose of it later. There's plenty of these…and we've got seeds to turn in…she won't realize that a plant went missing."

"I don't know…" Remus began.

"Sounds brilliant," Sirius said, clasping his hands together, "Let me take care of the seeds, and you just hurry off with our plant baby."

I stared at him, "Plant baby?"

He didn't respond but took our container and sauntered up to the front, announcing all of the seeds he'd handpicked.

I quickly ducked out once Professor Sprout's attention (while exasperated) was fully focused on Sirius.

He did know how to be the center of attention, I suppose.

I walked towards the lake, trying to think of what we should just do with the plant. Burn it? Toss into the Forbidden Forest? Leave it to float to the bottom of the lake…

"What's that you've got there, Evans?"

I was so startled, I almost dropped the plant that was still wrapped in my cloak, "My baby," I said immediately when I turned to see James standing there bemused. Plant Baby. That's what I meant. Why did Sirius ever even say that? Now my mind was all addled.

James scratched his head uncertainly, "Er—right…"

"It's not actually a baby," I corrected hurriedly, "It's…er…just a joke," I finished lamely, "Never mind."

James laughed, "Okay," he shrugged, "So what are you doing out here? Dipping out of Herbology early?"

"I was just…um…claustrophobic…the greenhouses get a bit stuffy sometimes…"

"What's in the cloak?" he asked, ignoring my pathetic excuse. Goodness. Is this the Spanish Inquisition?

"Hm?"

"Right there," he said, pointing at the bundle in my arms. I blinked and quickly tossed it into the lake.

"What cloak?" I asked innocently. James gave me an expression that probably meant he thought I was mildly crazy. Well. He's the one who stalked me all those years ago. Well—last year…it really wasn't that long ago now that I think about it.

"Sirius will tell me whatever you were up to anyway…I'm not stupid. Sirius doesn't normally go around bragging about how many Octiverde seeds he's managed to pluck."

"It wasn't my fault!" I said, crossing my arms, "It was all Remus!"

"What was?"

"Our plant died," I said before I could stop myself. I don't know why I was expecting a reprimand. I guess maybe because I'm Head Girl, I feel that people expect more of me. They certainly don't expect me to be tossing my Herbology plants into the Black Lake. James just gives me a look as if to say 'That's all?'.

"Oh…that's okay. After you left, some of the Hufflepuffs killed theirs too. Professor Sprout told us not to worry because after being plucked they only survive for another twenty four hours anyway."

"Oh." Why didn't I know that? I swear I'd read all about the Octiverde plant. James was now laughing at me.

"Did you think you were going to get in trouble?"

"Yes! I didn't stop Remus from killing it…and then I told him we shouldn't tell Professor Sprout…"

"Ah, so you were the mastermind behind the operation," he noted, smirking at me. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Either way, I decided to ignore him and start back towards the castle.

I mean, just because I'm supposed to be civil doesn't mean I have to be friendly. Right?

"Lily," James said, catching up with me, "Where are you going anyway? Want some company?"

I wanted to say no, but then I felt something that must've been guilt. You know, the little squeamish feeling in your stomach, "I'm going to the library," I said, "I have to study…I don't know if you really…er…do that," I finished lamely. Ah. Well, maybe the library will throw him off.

"Well, it's been known to happen on occasion…do we have any homework in anything yet though?"

"Yes," I frowned, "But I'm just going to get in some extra Transfiguration practice—"

"Perfect, I can help you!" he said eagerly.

Uh. What?

"Oh, that's okay," I said quickly, "Emmeline has been tutoring me actually…you know, if you remember..." Yeah…he still is dating Emmeline. Why do people keep forgetting that? Including Potter himself…

"Oh…" he seemed to be recalling her at my mention of her name, "I suppose…" he sighed, "Well, I'm glad that Transfiguration is going better…are you sure you don't need help?"

Why was he being so nice?

I just shook my head, "No thanks."

For once, I know I'm doing something right. Even if we did kill our plant today. Then why is that I feel a little disappointed when Potter takes off in the other direction?

**A/N: I know not too much happened in this chapter, but it was pretty funny (I thought) . Lily can be a bit dramatic sometimes...haha. :)  
**


	7. Mistake 6: My Blasted Potions Partner

**Mistake 6—Not Getting Rid of My Blasted Potions Partner**

So the first week of school was going smoothly. Well, as smooth as things ever seem to go. In fact, I would go as far to say the whole month was going by seamlessly.

Except that Potter was Head Boy. This meant I had to do weekly patrols with him. Then there were my weekly tutoring sessions with Emmeline.

Why were they cursed to be part of my life?

The good news was that today was Monday. Not only was it Monday, but it was the first Monday of October. This meant many things…

It meant I got to start the month over—all my fights with Potter. The fact that I'm not doing oh-so-hot in Transfiguration…all of it gets a re-do.

It's also Selene's birthday coming up in a few weeks.

Then, thirdly, it is Halloween. Who doesn't love Halloween? Although, Halloween is very different at Hogwarts than it is in the muggle world. I actually think the muggle world is cooler. It's become a popular muggle tradition to go trick-a-treating. You pretty much dress up whatever you'd like and collect candy. I guess I'd be too old for that now anyway…but you've got to admit—it's much more exciting than a feast. Although Hagrid's pumpkins are even bigger this year…

As you can tell, my Monday is off to a fabulous start—especially since my first class is Potions. Have I mentioned that I'm brilliant at Potions?

Because I am.

Now, I know you're thinking…'oh wow, she's so modest. _Not_.', but I felt that I should be able to brag on myself just a little bit. Especially after the whole Transfiguration fiasco—I mean, it's embarrassing that I have to be tutored—by Emmeline nonetheless. I promise that I deserve to be Head Girl, and I am a good student.

However, in my opinion, Slughorn lets too many idiots into NEWT Potions. That's why when Marlene and I grab our usual seats up front; we are surprised at Professor Slughorn's announcement.

"Settle down, settle down," he said, giving us smiles as if we were little children. He was a nice enough man, but he got on my nerves every class period. He particularly liked picking me out and asking my opinion on things. Not that I minded that part. It's nice to be the favorite every once in awhile. Then you can get away with murder. "Now…due to last week's…er…debacle," he said, his eyes falling on the Marauders. Sirius had exploded a firework in Sev's potion…again. Those boys really need to learn to grow up. Honestly. "We are going to work with assigned partners the rest of the summer."

Er…what?

Marlene shot me a frantic look, "Assigned partners?" she whispered. Marlene absolutely loathed Potions. She was only taking it, so she could be a healer. I feel that Potions are rather important to Healing, but when I tell Marlene this she just tells me to shove off.

I don't know how you can_ hate_ Potions. It's the most wonderful subject offered at Hogwarts. Well…Charms is a close second.

"Yes, yes I know," Slughorn was trying to quiet everyone down after all the chattering and groans quickly filled the classroom, "you may not think you deserve it, but I've matched you up according to skill level. Some of you need a little more help than others," he added, looking towards the Marauders.

I don't think he was happy that they'd managed to ruin yet another cauldron.

Although, I don't know how Slughorn ever believed that their melted cauldrons were just 'accidents'.

"To begin," he said, clearing his throat, "We'll start on the left side of the room. Let's see…we have Nicolette Richer and James Potter…." Emmeline who sat down the row from me, twitched. I had to hold in a giggle, "Next…Marlene McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick."

Marlene's expression which was a mixture of hatred and anxiety cleared instantly. She beamed at me, winking. I sort of wanted to lecture on making sure she got schoolwork done whether or not she was Benjy's partner. I knew her too well. She was going to end up drooling over him the entire class period whist being obnoxiously flirtatious. I hope she remembers that he still has a girlfriend.

I listened as Remus and Severus got paired up. They both looked intensely unhappy with their matchup. Maybe I'd get paired with a Hufflepuff, I thought, scanning the rest of the room. There were a handful of people who still needed to be paired up—

"Sirius Black," he announced, "And Lily Evans."

Er—what?

"You're with Mr. Black, Miss Evans," he clarified. I must've have spoken out loud. I turn towards the back, and Sirius winks, giving me a thumbs up.

Oh hell.

"I love Potions," Marlene said to us after we caught up with Selene after class. We met her out by the lake. It was beginning to get nippy out, but the sun was so bright and beautiful that we couldn't just stay indoors.

Selene raised her eyebrows at Marlene's comment and looked at me for an explanation. I threw Marlene a glare just for emphasis, "Yeah, well she only loves it because she gets to be dear Benjy's partner," I said mockingly, "She didn't get stuck with the devil reincarnate."

"Potter?" Selene asked. I shook my head, "Er—Snape?"

"Severus is not the devil!" I said, throwing her a furious look. I mean we're not mates but _still_! Selene muttered a quick apology, and I just nodded, "It's Black," I said, dropping my bag and sitting down against the tree, "Teachers hate me."

"Don't be dramatic," said Marlene, chuckling as she sat down beside me. She was laughing at my misfortune. Laughing! She would have ranted for hours if she got stuck with _him_ as partner.

Selene was also frowning, and I guess I should've seen this coming as she sat on my other side, "Sirius is not the devil reincarnate!"

You see, I sort of forgot she fancied him.

"You're so lucky!" she swooned, "He's really smart too, so you don't have to worry about getting paired with someone who's awful at Potions—"

"Selene," I interrupted, "This really isn't the time." I did not want my Monday to be ruined—particularly by Sirius Black. I didn't want to argue with Selene over whether or not if Black was an arsehole. She's obviously mentally unstable.

Marlene snorted, "When is it ever the time?"

"I think you guys would really like him if you gave him a chance," Selene said stubbornly. I wanted to say that she didn't even know him, and that her basis for liking him was completely shallow, but I didn't. I just exchanged looks with Marlene.

At least she hates Black too.

Speaking of which, they were all headed towards us. The Marauders were laughing and making their usual ruckus. I immediately stood up, grabbing my bag. I wasn't going to stick around for this. Like I said—my Monday was going to be fabulous—the Marauders were not going to ruin it.

"Ah! My new Potions partner!" Sirius cried. I think he was doing this on purpose…just to see if he could push my buttons. I was not going to let him.

"Yes," I sighed, "Bugger off, will you?"

"Lily," Selene hissed from behind me.

"Hey Lily," James greeted. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn't. I don't think I mentioned this, but James has been obstinately cheery recently whenever we cross each other. He always waves and says 'hello' as if trying to prove he's this fabulous human being that I shouldn't hate.

Or maybe he's just happy because he has Emmeline now.

He actually probably has ulterior motives. It is Potter, don't forget. Just because I can't figure out what his motives are, doesn't mean they don't exist.

"Mind if we join you?" James asked, sitting down.

Uh. Yes. I do mind, actually.

"No, not at all," Selene said before Marlene or I could answer. Oh Selene—look what your awful crush on Sirius is doing to me!

Marlene had pulled me back down, hissing in my ear, "You're not leaving me alone with them!"

"You've got Selene," I muttered back.

"Yeah, well she's making googly eyes at you-know-who."

"Did you just say Selene makes googly eyes at You-Know-Who?" Peter asked, frowning at Marlene.

Marlene blinked, "Uh…yeah….i did."

"Don't you have other girls to bother?" I saked before Marlene got herself in trouble. Peter seemed to still be confused on the Marlene's question and gave me a blank stare.

"Ah, but you're our favorites…besides," James shrugged, "Emmeline thinks it's too cold outside."

Right. Dearest Emmeline.

"Right…and what Emmeline says goes," Sirius muttered bitterly.

"What?" James was frowning.

"Er—never mind. Anyone want to go for a swim?" he asked, ripping off his shirt. Selene let out a little gasping noise that didn't go unnoticed. Sirius smirked at her.

"Like what you see?"

"No," Marlene cut in, "Put your shirt back on. You aren't seriously considering going into the lake are you? It's going to be freezing!"

"Is that a dare?" Sirius asked, his eyes twinkling.

"You're so immature," Marlene said, crossing her arms, "I hope you get eaten by the giant squid."

"I dare you," Remus said, smirking.

"Well…" Sirius contemplated before breaking out into a grin, "If you insist…" With a running start, he dove into the lake.

I felt cold just watching him. While it was nice out, it definitely wasn't warm. I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, and the wind made me feel a bit chilly since I'd left my cloak inside.

"He really isn't all there mentally, is he?" Marlene asked out loud. The boys just laughed, but I don't think they realized she was being serious.

"I don't think so…and to think I'm stuck with him as Potions partner."

"I'm sure you could get Slughorn to have you switch," Marlene smirked, "You are Sluggy's favorite."

I just shrugged, "I think I can handle Sirius Black."

Oh how wrong I was.

()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()

I was dreading tutoring…as per usual. I guess I shouldn't complain. I got an 'E' on my last homework assignment.

Emmeline was rattling off about something, but I have was having a hard time focusing tonight, "Does that make sense?" she asked.

No.

"Yes," I said, nodding then I hurriedly added, "Well look at the time!" I forced a grin before she could start on a new subject that would only further confuse me, "I think I'll be able to finish it from here."

"Okay," Emmeline nodded, "Hey, Lily," she began.

"Yeah?"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something," she said, frowning slightly.

I blinked at her, "About what? It's okay if you can't make it next week—"

"Not about tutoring," she interrupted. I nodded, waiting impatiently, "It's actually about…well you and James."

Huh? "Er—what?"

Emmeline threw me an irritated look, "I don't know what you've been saying to him, but you need to leave him alone—"

"Ah…Vance, Evans…lovely to see you ladies," came an intruding voice, causing both of to turn to see Sirius Black walking toward us with his usual swagger. Oh Merlin. He's so _annoying_.

Did Black really need to show up now of all times? And what on Earth was Emmeline talking about? I did leave Potter alone! He's the one who's constantly pestering _me_!

"We're busy, Black," Emmeline said haughtily, "So you can run along now."

I sighed and looked at Emmeline, "I don't know what you're talking about," I said, ignoring Black for the time being, "I haven't said anything to him since we did rounds last week. I've got to go…" I muttered, eager to get away from the both of them. Well, my wish was half granted.

"Yeah, Evans and I are Potions partners," Sirius said, grabbing me by my arm and pulling me along with him. How is that even relevant? Who cares if we're Potions partners?

I frowned, pulling my arm away. "What do you want?" I asked rudely.

He seemed unperturbed, "Well, my _partner_," he said emphasizing the word, "I needed a favor."

"A favor?" I asked skeptically.

"I need you to help me get rid of Emmeline."

Er—what?

Sirius ignored my bewildered look, "She's driving all of us mad—James included. He just needs a push…and that's where you come in."

He must be joking. I waited, but he continued to look at me, waiting patiently for an answer. Oh he is so full of himself sometimes!

"Wait, you want me to help…" I glanced around, making sure no one was within earshot, "Help you break up James and Emmeline?" I said in a low voice. Sirius nodded. "Why?" I asked, nonplussed.

"She's annoying," Sirius shrugged, "James has never dated anyone for so long. We always thought if he did, it'd be you. I'm used to the idea of you—even though you're a bit annoying too."

Thanks, I thought dryly. He really knows how to win you over.

"Sirius," I interrupted, "This is a terrible idea. I'm not getting myself involved. Potter can date whoever he'd like," I said, frowning at him. I mean, yeah, I didn't like Emmeline, but if she and Potter wanted to be unhappy together, it was fine by me. Sirius tried to say something else, but I ignored him, heading back to the Gryffindor Common room by myself.

I didn't think about Sirius' stupid idea again. I'd forgotten about it and had managed to avoid talking to him until our next Potions class. We were working on complex antidotes today, so I knew it was going to take a great amount of concentration and skill.

Needless to say, I was nervous about having to be partnered with Black after his silly proposition. Rightfully so. I said bye to Marlene and headed to my own seat which was in the back unfortunately. Benjy had walked in, and I knew she wanted to spend all her class time flirting with him. (I have to keep reminding her that he already has a girlfriend—Nicolette).

"Hey partner," Black greeted in what he must've thought was 'smooth'. Hmphf.

"Black, get off my desk," I snapped, "Okay, listen, it is very important for this potion that you do exactly as I say—"

"And why should I do that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I blinked, "Excuse me?"

"Why should I listen to you?" he asked, "You don't go around doing me any favors."

"This—what?" Oh. I saw where this was going. He was not going to force me into anything, "This is entirely different. This is so we both get good grades. It's not some twisted plot to break up someone's relationship," I snapped.

"I don't really care about my grades. I'm sure we'll scrape an 'A'," he said, shrugging carelessly.

An 'A'? I do not get 'A's in Potions. When I said this, Black just smirked and said, "You do now."

"Are you bloody serious?"

"Why, yes. Yes, I am," he said, his grin widening. Oh boy. He's lucky I'm Head Girl. Otherwise I would've have hexed him so badly—wait—I can still hex him….if Professor Slughorn isn't looking…

Discretely, I pull out my wand and give Black my most intimidating look, "You're going to do what I say Black, or help me God…"

"Listen, Evans," he said, pushing my wand away from his face. He ignored it when a few sparks shot out of it, "I do what I'm supposed to in this class," he paused, giving me a sharp glance before continuing again, "and you help me split up Miss Prude and my best mate, okay?"

Haha. He thought Emmeline was a prude?

"Fine," I grumbled, "Just don't screw this up." I really wish I had a different partner. Life would've been so much easier. Now I'm going to be stuck plotting up ridiculous things to 'break them up'. I wonder if I'll get to dye her hair multi colors or maybe fill her bag with those weird Peppermint imps. I mean, yeah, they're tasty when they don't nip your fingers off.

Okay. Obviously I don't really know how to prank people. I still don't see why he wants _my_ help.

Sirius just smirked, "I knew you'd see my side of things, Evans. And just think! You get to my partner for the rest of the year! We're really going to bond, I think."

I hate him. I really do.

**A/N: Reviews are lovely :)**


	8. Mistake 7: MeThe Other Woman?

**Chapter XIII. Mistake 7—Me: The Other Woman**

Everything is a mess now, and it is all Sirius Black's fault. Well, not entirely, but it's nice to put the blame on someone else for once.

How do I explain this? I guess it starts with last Tuesday. I had just gotten out of another tutoring session. Emmeline was being her usual awful self.

"Great job today, Lily," she said, packing up her stuff.

The thing is…I know she doesn't_ mean_ it. I know she's secretly hoping I fail.

"I'm rubbish," I spill out, "How am ever going to be getting better at this? You've been tutoring for more than a month!" Truth was…these tutoring sessions were killing me. Slowly but surely. Emmeline just blinked at me.

"Er—you finally transfigured your eyebrow to the correct shape," she said shrugging, "I'm sure you'll be fine for our exam."

Exam? What exam?

I cleared my throat and said tentatively, "Exam?"

"Yes, you know, the one on Thursday?" she flashed me a smile, "I must be off. I'm meeting James," she said, hurrying off and flashing me one of her blinding smiles. I blinked, watching her float off being too happy for her own good. I sunk back into my seat. How had I missed the fact that we had an exam?

I don't know how long I was sitting in the library, but I had fallen asleep somewhere in between as I poured over my Transfiguration textbook. I think I actually drooled on my Transfiguration textbook. Ew.

"Lily?"

I picked my head up and hastily wiped the drool off my chin, "Er—hey Potter." I still don't feel comfortable calling him James (only in Emmeline's presence…just because it rubs her the wrong way).

"What are you still doing here? You know the library is closing…" he trailed off, "Were you sleeping?" he added with a laugh, taking in my appearance. I glared at him, shoving my book in my bag.

"No," I muttered. I had fallen asleep. Great, now I was really going to fail Transfiguration! You know. You think that my bloody effing tutor would have mentioned an exam while I was being tutored! I felt like shouting at Potter just because his girlfriend was a crummy tutor.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at me carefully.

I hitched my bag over my shoulder and began walking out, and Potter, of course, followed. "No," I said, answering his question. Then I sighed, "I'm fine."

"What's wrong?" he asked as we headed to the Gryffindor common room.

"Just…that stupid Transfiguration exam on Thursday," I sighed, "Anyway, what were you doing in the library?" I asked, changing the subject, "I thought you were with your girlfriend."

"Oh," James shrugged, "I walked her back to her dorm…curfew and stuff…you know."

"Right."

Since when does he follow curfew?

"But you're having trouble with Transfiguration? Emmeline didn't go over the review with you?"

What review? Then all of a sudden it occurred to me. I was late for Transfiguration the other day when I was helping a first year find the lavatories on the third floor.

Oh bollocks.

See? This is what happens when I'm a good person! Blast.

I cursed and said, "I didn't get the review…I was late…oh no, I'm so going to fail!" I cried, panicking before I could stop myself.

I think Potter was a little taken aback because he coughed and gave me an awkward look, "Er—no you're not—oh you're not going to start _crying_ are you?"

Crying? He thought I was going to cry over my exam? Well…I mean, I guess I can see where that's coming from…but still!

"No!" I snapped, "I'm just not used to being…"

"Bad at something?" Potter suggested. I glared at him and said nothing, "Here, we can go to the Prefect lounge and study, right?"

"Study?" I frowned, "With you?"

He laughed, rolling his eyes at me, "Believe it or not, Evans, I'm pretty good at Transfiguration."

Oh right, he was my almost tutor, "I guess…McGonagall mentioned it," I chuckled, "She actually wanted you to tutor me," I said. What an absurd idea that was!

He glanced at me sharply, "Really?"

"Yeah—but then she realized I probably would've bit your head off. Plus you're Quidditch Captain and Head Boy. She reckoned you had your plate full," I added, trying to make him feel better about another rejection from me.

He was frowning still, "You think I'd be a bad tutor?"

Okay now. He's acting as if I've run over his puppy or something equally horrible.

"Er—"

He took me by the shoulders and steered me towards the Prefect's lounge, "I'm about to prove you wrong, Evans…"

Ah. An evening with James Potter. Splendid.

...o...o...

o_o_o_o

...o...o...

Nothing bad happened of course—besides studying which was a surprise. I thought I might have murdered him before the night was over.

Marlene would've given me a hard time about it actually if she'd been paying enough attention to the hour I returned to the dorms. I don't think she realized it was past curfew…and I wasn't about to inform her. Besides, Marlene has always blurred the times of curfew for her own convenience, so I don't think she knows when curfew really is anymore.

On the other hand, James was right. He is good at Transfiguration. In fact, he was a whole hell of a lot more helpful than his girlfriend was (which is saying a lot actually because Emmeline was never a bad tutor…not _really_).

Anyway, after Charms the next morning, we had Potions which was a class I was beginning to dread—mainly because I had to listen to Sirius Black and his outlandish stories. He is probably the most obnoxious boy on the planet. Honestly.

"Evans," he greeted, wearing a wide smirk as I warily placed my stuff down.

"Er—Black…" I said in greeting. I'm always wary of him. Probably because he's up to no good—seriously, he's never doing anything for a good or noble reason. Aren't Gryffindors supposed to be noble? Maybe he should take some tips from his mates. Not that Potter is noble. He's just as bad. Almost.

"So," he was still smirking as I pulled out my quill and parchment, "Late night last night?" he threw me a wink. I gave him the most disgusted look I could muster before sitting down.

"Shut up. He was helping me with Transfiguration."

"It doesn't matter," Sirius said continuing to grin at me, "Do you know how happy you made that bloke last night? He wouldn't shut up about how bloody wonderful it is that you two are mates…and how you let him help you with your homework without jumping down his throat. He was so bloody pleased."

What?

"Er—why are you telling me this?" I asked feeling myself turn red. I mean, yeah, we had studied and talked a bit, but I didn't realize that my 'being nice' to him made him think we were mates! We are _so _not mates.

"Because," Sirius grinned, "I realized how we're breaking them up," he said in a low voice, "You."

I gave him a confused look, "What are you talking about?"

"You said you'd help…in breaking up James and Prude Queen," he said, giving me a pointed look, "Anyway, I thought it was obvious. You are going to make James jealous."

"Why would I do that?" I asked confused.

"Because James still likes you!"

"Yeah…but I don't like him," I said, frowning, "Can't you find someone else to help you with your stupid plans?"

"Afraid not."

"You're insane," I said glancing towards the front, hoping that Slughorn would start class already.

"No, I'm right," he smirked, "Anyway, you promised Evans. Don't tell me you're not a woman of your word."

I sighed, "Listen, I don't know why you hate Emmeline so much," Not that I didn't understand, but I don't think Black's reasons were the same as mine.

"Easy," Black shrugged, "She's controlling. She gets mad at Prongs for doing anything. Pulling a prank, ditching their…ahem… 'date night'. Besides, she has no sense of humor. I don't really know what Prongs sees in her," he glanced at me, "I mean, I never really cared for him fancying you—but Emmeline is a million times worse!"

Er—thanks?

"No," I said, "This is out of the question—I really am beginning to question your sanity—"

Luckily, Professor Slughorn decided to start class before our conversation could continue. Of course, this meant the entire lesson I found myself looking at Emmeline who kept writing love notes to her bloody boyfriend.

Okay, so I lied, she was just taking her regular notes like a good student.

I hadn't forgotten about Sirius' stupid plan though, so when Potter came up to me after class I gave him a weird grimace when I tried to smile casually.

"Hey Lily…" he frowned, "Er—are you alright? You look like you're in pain?"

I snorted, "You would be too if you had to sit next to Black for an entire class period." He laughed loudly at this which seemed to catch Emmeline's attention because she stalked on over.

"James!" she said, clinging to his arm, "You promised to sit at my table today for lunch," she said, smiling widely at him. Her eyes fell on me, and she smiled, "Oh, hello Lily."

"Hello Emmeline," I forced myself to greet, "Well, I better be going…if I'm going to get an 'O' on that Transfiguration exam."

"Of course," Emmeline nodded, "Bye then!"

I walked away, but she didn't realize I was still in hearing range. "Not to be mean…but there's no way Lily will be able to pull off an 'O'. Who is she kidding?"

Hm. Why was I expecting Potter to defend me? Either way, I wasn't sticking around to find out his response. Hearing Emmeline talk about me was bad enough.

...o...o...

o_o_o_o

...o...o...

I had quite forgotten about what Sirius had said about needing to make James 'jealous'.

What I didn't forget was how much my speaking to James set Emmeline off. Like today. They were sitting in the library, and I spotted them.

"Lily," James waved me over.

"Hey James…Emmeline," I said, smiling at the pair. Emmeline just nodded, looking back to her homework, probably hoping I would just leave, "Actually, I'm glad I ran into you James, we have to go over some Head stuff soon," I said.

"Okay," he nodded, "How about tonight?"

"Yeah, that's—"

"Tonight's Wednesday," Emmeline said, looking up at him.

James frowned, "Ah, right, well I really need to do this. Tomorrow I have Quidditch, and then patrols on Saturday—"

"Just do it Friday," Emmeline said, not bothering to even glance at me.

"Well I can't do it Friday," I said. Well. I probably could, but who really wanted to work on Heads stuff on a Friday night?

"But Wednesday night is our night," Emmeline said, still glaring at James. I realized I was being deliberately mean now, but for some reason, I couldn't take it back. I just watched it all happen…kind of like a train wreck.

"We can do something Saturday, I promise. We have to meet with Professor Dumbledore about the student activities and who's all in what. They just started a gobblestone's club and—"

"Oh fine," she said huffily, "But you ditched me last week too," she complained, "To hang out with Black and Pettigrew."

James gritted his teeth, "I had to. Besides, it's not like I don't see you all the time."

"What? Are you saying you're sick o seeing me?" she asked. James looked exasperated.

"No—"

"You see Lily more than you see me!" She said shrilly, pointing a finger at me. I jumped, startled a bit.

"Er—what?"

"Ignore her, Lily," James said, picking up his stuff, "Let's just go to the Prefect's lounge and get this done now."

He left, leaving me looking awkwardly at Emmeline who was glaring, "Er—well—Head stuff, you know," I began.

Emmeline just scowled further, "Yeah, whatever, Lily," she said, brushing past me.

I stared after her, trying to think of what had just happened. Sighing, I decided I better go find James. He was waiting in the Prefect lounge, not looking too chipper. Lovely.

"Er…so—"

"What is her problem anyway?" James asked.

He's asking the wrong person. "Well…"

"I mean, one moment she's all sweet and nice, but then she has these weird mood swings! Besides, can't a guy just hang with his mates every once in awhile?"

"Yeah…er…well, you have to remember that Emmeline is a girl," I explained. What was I doing? Why was I defending her? "I mean, we tend to do that…and yeah, you can hang with your mates, but you can't ditch your girlfriend all the time either."

James stared at me, so I sighed.

"Maybe you're just not boyfriend material."

Actually, I know he's not boyfriend material. However, James looks offended by my comment.

"Yes I am!"

"Okay, maybe you are," I said, shrugging, backpedaling quickly.

Doubtful.

He just shrugged, falling into one of the chairs, "Let's just get this over with," he muttered.

Don't get too excited, I thought dryly. It's not like I wanted to spend my evening with his moody self anyway.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for an update! School has to be my number one priority (unfortunately) Haha. :) Enjoy!**


	9. Sirius' Stupid, Stupid Mistake

**Chapter IX—Sirius Stupid, Stupid Mistake**

"So…" Selene said at breakfast after I stopped and said hello to Potter and Black, "Since when are you best mates with James and Sirius?"

"We're not best mates," I said, "We're partners. James is Head Boy, and Sirius is in Potions with me."

"I thought you hated him though," she said, frowning deeply.

"I do…we're just forced to cooperate under said circumstances," I said primly, not meeting their gazes.

"Selene's right," Marlene was giving me a calculating look, "Something is not right. You're being overly nice to those two—James in particular. I'll ask him about it at practice if I have to," she threatened.

I just smiled breezily, "Whatever you think is right, Mar. Pass the marmalade, would you?"

"Evans," Black had appeared. He nodded at my friends before turning his attention back to me, "We need to talk."

I glanced at my breakfast and then back up at him, "Now?"

"Yes now," he said snappishly, "While Prongs is off with devil herself."

"Who—" Selene began, frowning deeply.

I coughed and shot him a look. He ignored it and pushed Marlene over to sit next to me.

"Watch it!" she snapped.

"Sorry, love," he said easily, glancing at her for half a moment, "I have urgent business to discuss with Evans here."

"I just want to eat my breakfast," I said tiredly, "It's not urgent anyway."

Sirius looked like he wanted to argue, so I just stuffed my toast in my mouth so I wouldn't have to talk. It worked for a little while. Selene was looking down at her own breakfast, glancing up nervously.

"So…" she shot a look at Marlene before looking back at Sirius, "How are you, Sirius?"

"Huh?" he had been looking at the doors to the Great Hall, "Oh. Spiffing. You know," he asked, glancing at her.

"Why are you sitting with us anyway?" Marlene asked, glaring at him. I think she's still mad that he stole her seat, "Don't you have some moronic friends to sit with?"

"I'm sitting with them now," he said cheekily.

"Har har," Marlene said sarcastically, "We're not friends."

I had finally swallowed my toast, so I added, "And we're not moronic. Can't you go bother Lupin?"

"This is much more fun," he insisted, "Besides, I'm waiting for Prongs and…" he twitched, "Vance."

"You're such a jerk," I said, laughing.

"Why are you guys so mean to her?" Selene demanded. She really looked annoyed now.

Oops.

"You're mates?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows at Selene. Selene blinked at him and said nothing. Luckily, I decided to save her by thwacking him on the head.

"You really are a jerk sometimes. Now seriously get lost before I hex you."

"Ah, Evans, that's no way to treat our new-founded friendship."

I felt my face heat up as both of my friends immediately turned and stared at me, "We're not friends, Black. We're _partners_—and that's it. Now we'll talk about…er…Potions later. Okay?"

"Whatever you say love," he said, breezily getting up and strolling out.

Immediately, Marlene hounded on me, "What do you mean you're _friends_? With Black? Lilllllly!"

"I can't believe you wouldn't tell me? You've been hanging out with Sirius?" Selene demanded accusingly.

"No, no, no!" I snapped, "We're not friends. He's just being a git. Now can I please eat my breakfast?"

Marlene grumbled, and Selene looked doubtful, but they both dropped the subject. I should have known that by this point, everything was going to end badly.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

**I need to talk to you.**

That was the letter that hit me in the back of the head. I turned around to look for the culprit. Sirius was staring at me. He smirked.

After glancing up at our Defense professor to make sure she was too busy lecturing to notice, I scribbled on the back of it.

Go away.

I tried to sneakily toss it over my shoulder. It missed. Sirius just grinned and summoned it with his wand. Ah. Right. I wasn't thinking.

**It's about our plan.**

You mean YOURplan.

**Fine. My plan. I know how to break them up now**.

Can we talk about it later? We should be listening to Professor Blakely. 

And quit throwing notes at my head. 

_Why is Black throwing notes at your head?_

I'll explain later, Mar.

_Yeah, I don't know what is going on between the two of you._

Nothing's going on!

_Right, I just read the note that was intended for you. It says: 'You and me—after class'. What the hell, Lily?_

**My note hit McKinnon. Oops, but hey, let's meet after class—in the corridor.**

Fine. 

Marlene, I'll explain it later.

_Fine. Otherwise, I'm just going to have to assume you and Black are passing love notes_.

"Oh please!" I said, turning around to face her, forgetting I was in class.

She sniggered as the class turned and looked at me including Professor Blakely.

"Excuse me?" she asked in surprise. I usually was one of the more behaved students (ahem, unlike Sirius and the Head Boy).

"Er—" I coughed, "It was so interesting, oh please, continue!" I attempted weakly.

Professor Blakely raised her eyebrows but nodded and returned to her lecture as everyone else snickered. I hate everyone. Especially Marlene and Sirius. They're both lousy mates. Well, except Sirius isn't my mate. He's just lousy in general, I suppose.

The bell rang, and Sirius was waiting outside the classroom.

"Just a moment," I muttered to Marlene as I approached him, "Okay, what was so urgent—" I was going to ask why he had felt the need to bombard me with his stupid notes during Defense, but I didn't get the opportunity.

Urgh.

You see…

I can barely say it.

He…

Ack.

Okay, breathe Lily. Breathe. Here it goes…

He…_kissed_ me.

I need to go wash my mouth out. Ew. Not that he was a bad kisser, I guess. But it's Sirius Black—he probably has all sorts of germs—oh Merlin's pants!

I can't believe the idiot snogged me! Me! Lily Evans? What the hell was he thinking?

After I got over the shock of it all, I shoved him away and asked him precisely that, "What the hell, Black!"

"Go along with it," he muttered.

"No—this has gone too far—" I began furiously but broke off because Sirius was looking…smug? I turned to see half of our class in the corridor, staring at us. Right. I'd forgotten everyone was watching. Ah crap. Immediately, I felt my face flame up. Stupid, stupid Sirius!

"Are you kidding?" Marlene said finally. Her mouth was agape. Ah…she didn't look too pleased either. It wasn't a happy surprise…like oh look, I threw you a party…Surprise! No, it's like I can't believe you're snogging the enemy…Surprise! Oh dear.

"Uh," was all I could say. Yes. Of course I'm kidding! I wanted to shout. Instead I settled for, "It wasn't what it looked like," I began quickly.

"Yeah?" Selene asked, her face was red. Oh no. Dammit. Why did she have to fancy Sirius again? Selene glared at me before turning on her heel and stalking off. That was not good. How had I forgotten about Selene?

"Selene!" I yelled after her. I made my way to push through the crowd, but then Potter stepped in. Of course. He really did turn up in the must inoportune moments.

"You're dating Sirius?" he asked, looking confused and almost…hurt? I really didn't care at this point. Selene, however, had disappeared out of sight. Great. Now it was going to be impossible to find her. Stupid Potter.

"Wha—no, Potter, get off—!" I said, trying to shove him out of my face. Why was everyone just staning here and staring at me?

"Yes, we're dating," Sirius said, smoothly, putting his arm around me so tightly that I could barely breathe, "Isn't that right, love?" he asked, pinching my elbow. Ha. Like that would keep me quiet. I glared at him.

"Sirius, no. We are not dating. This was not part of the deal—" I hissed furiously. How could he do this? How could he just kiss me like it was no big deal. Excuse me! My permission? Did he even consider asking me if it would be alright for him to snog me in the corridor? I know that my face is probably a blotchy red by this point because I'm getting more furious with every given moment.

"So you've just been sleeping with him?" Emmeline asked, her eyes widening.

I knew I never liked her.

"No—"

"Lily," James said quietly but his anger was obvious. For some reason that shut me up. "Not here, okay?" Then he shot Emmeline a look and hissed at her, "What did you go have to say that for?"

Ha. He's pissed at Emmeline….but what the hell is he angry at _me_ for?

"You know it's true—" she began snottily.

Like I said: I really, really don't like her.

"LILY EVANS!" Marlene interrupted. Ah…you see, Marlene doesn't like being ignored. Turns out she hadn't followed Selene but instead was watching the scene unfold. She was eyeing everyone with her deadly glare. Seriously. It's the most frightening thing I've ever had the misfortune to witness. I think even Black looked frightened by her after her next line.

"You are not going anywhere with anyone until I talk to you—shove off Black before I kick your ARSE!" she added as Sirius opened his mouth. Then, she pulled me by the arm and out of everyone's reach and dragged me away.

We made it to the grounds with me stumbling after Marlene as she huffed in her silent anger. She eyed me distrustfully, "Explain," she demanded, her eyes still fiery. Terrifying. I resisted my shudder and gave a lame explanation.

"It's complicated," I managed meekly.

What had I gotten myself into?

"It's complicated?" she echoed, her eyebrows raising, "I don't think so, Lily Marie," she gave me another one of her glares. I sighed.

"Well I don't know what Sirius is thinking—urgh! I mean, I know that I'm the other woman but I don't see what any of that made him think—"

"You're _what_?"

"Er—that's what Sirius said. He's convinced that James still fancies me secretly, and that I'm the other woman—which I'm not. He's really not all there, I don't think."

"Obviously," Marlene said, rolling her eyes. She waited for a moment, "Is that it?"

"Er—yeah."

You know, except that Sirius and I are trying to break up Emmeline and James. But Marlene doesn't really need to know that...I still can't really understand how I got invovled with that in the first place.

Marlene gave me a very long look that I couldn't read. Then she scoffed and shook her head, "You're unbelievable, you know that? You expect me to _believe _that?"

Er—yes?

"I don't know what sort of deal you've struck with Black, but I never thought you were the type to…" she trailed off and gave me a scathing look, "Do you realize what you've done to Selene? I can't believe you, Lily. This is absolutely bloody ridiculous!" she shouted.

"I know! I didn't mean to—it's all Sirius' fault!" I yelled back.

That was my most convincing argument. I know. How sad. Marlene didn't appreciate it. Although, I would like to back it up and say that it is a hundred percent true because none of this would have happened if Sirius Black didn't exist. None of it. Marlene was still giving me the evil eye.

"Grow up, Lily," she said, glaring at me and stalking off, leaving me alone in the courtyard.

I don't know how I got caught up in all of this. It was an awful idea from the start.

And as I said, it's all Sirius' fault.


	10. Mistake 8: Being an Awful Best Mate

**X. Mistake 8—Being an Awful Best Mate**

All of this wasn't my fault. Marlene was mad at me because when I told her the truth (most of it), she didn't believe me. Selene thinks I'm in love with Sirius…okay, come on people! If anyone thought about this logically, they'd realize something was array. Me? In love with Sirius Black? Please!

So, last night, when I came back to the common room, Selene and Marlene were already 'asleep'. I think they were pretending because it was only about eight o'clock. They were both up and gone when I woke up too. As you remember, Mary tends to be a bit of a…gossip.

"Lily," she said, realizing I was awake, her big brown eyes widening, "I heard you and Sirius Black were dating," she said excitedly.

Poor Mary. She probably didn't deserve the cold glare I gave her. I definitely sneered and said, "Well you are sadly misinformed." Then I promptly slammed the bathroom door behind me. Great start to the morning, I might add.

Jasmine was just getting up when I emerged, dressed and ready to go, "That was really unnecessary," she said to me with a look of disapproval that I'd expect from a teacher.

"What?" I asked, trying not to sound angry. It was hard though. I _was _angry…just not at Jasmine.

"Being mean to Mary…it's not like she's the only one talking about it. People have been saying awful things, you know," she said, giving me a sharp look. Okay…great. I think I just lost my appetite.

"Yeah, well I don't give a bloody—"

"What about Selene?" Jasmine asked, cutting me off before my mouth really let loose, "You've treated her rotten, haven't you?" she demanded.

"I…it was just a terrible misunderstanding," I muttered, sitting on the edge of my bed.

Jasmine considered this, "Well, have you told them?"

"Marlene didn't believe me."

Jasmine just stared at me. Then she shrugged, "Ah, well you know what they say when the going gets tough…" she trailed off.

"What?"

"Er—no clue. Be tougher?" she shrugged casually as if that were supposed to comfort me. Ha! "Well, Lily, I don't want to know what's going on…but you'd better set it right because the three of you are supposed to be best mates," she shrugged again, "It's just best to not let it get out of hand," she headed into the bathroom, sticking her head out to say, "And as for everyone else, just ignore them, Lily. That's what I always do! It works every once in awhile! See you in class, then!' she said before disappearing behind the door.

Fabulous. Absolutely bloody fabulous.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

I was sitting in Charms which is lucky because this meant I didn't need to pay attention which meant I could write this list. No one had bothered to sit next to me, so I didn't have to worry about Marlene peering over my shoulder trying to read my list when she ought to be taking notes.

Things to do:

1. Apologize to Selene.

2. Tell Marlene to quit being such a bitch—this doesn't even concern her.

3. Apologize to James—

Although, I don't still see why he has a right to be upset when he's dating another girl so he shouldn't care who I date anymore…but never mind that.

4. Buy Selene a birthday present

5. Kill Sirius Black.

I'm not even joking on number 5. I'm completely, 100% serious. Ah, damn. Pun unintended. In fact, right now, I've turned around and give him the deadliest glare I could muster. And you know what he does? He sends me a bloody note.

A note.

I hate him.

**Lily flower dearest,**

Urgh. Gag me.

**We really must talk. You look upset.**

**Love, Sirius. **

Prat.

Upset? That was an understatement. I am going to be wheeled off to Azkaban by the end of the week, I'm sure of it.

I crumbled it up and turned to glare to him again, but then I felt something hit the side of my head. Marlene was staring straight at me with that evil eye of hers, so I unfolded the note that read in her familiar writing: _Love notes?_

I glared at her and crumbled it as well. I didn't bother to look back at Sirius or Marlene, so instead I tried to take notes, but it wasn't really happening. Of course, dear Professor Flitwick didn't notice a thing, so he gave me one of his cheery goodbyes as I left.

At least_ he's_ still nice to me. I knew there was a reason Charms was my almost favorite subject.

"Lily Flower!"

I just can't get away from him. I turned to see that Sirius had been waiting in the hallway for me. He smirked and put his arm around my shoulder. I quickly shrugged him off and pulled him by the arm out of eyesight.

"Frisky," he said, waggling his eyebrows, "Sirius likes."

"First," I said, giving him a threatening look, "Don't start talking in third person," he just chortled and I ignored him, "Second—you are putting this right! I don't know what the hell you were thinking Sirius but you can't go around and make people think I'm your girlfriend! That's insane!"

"People believe it," he shrugged, "Funny…considering you'd never date James…but you'd date me? Then again, people here are a bit mad…"

"Oh please, I would date James before I date you," I spat angrily. I had been hoping to wound his pride or something but this did not happen.

"Ooh, really now?" he said curiously, his eyes twinkling. I glared, and he just laughed, "Kidding, Evans. You really need to lighten up."

"I'm not kidding," I said furiously, "You've ruined everything. Everyone is mad at me—including James! So your stupid plan isn't working anyway!"

"That's why we needed to talk," Sirius said, looking eager, "It is!"

I gave him a doubtful look, "Really? I have yet to see how any of this relates to either of them—well except that Emmeline can now tell people I'm a right floozy—"

"Lily," Sirius was smiling. Right. He probably thought this was some sort of joke. "You are the least flooziest bird I've ever met."

"Flooziest isn't a word—" I began.

"Anyway, Emmeline isn't even the problem anymore. You see—James is in a sour mood now—all because of you. Let me recap our conversation this morning. So James decides to bring it up, and I said, 'Mate…I thought you were over her. I didn't think you'd mind…besides, you're with Emmeline'," he grinned, "You know what Prongs said? 'Emmeline never compared to Lily, you know that.' Then he didn't speak to me again." He looked at me eagerly as if expecting me to start jumping up and down in excitement. Instead, I gave him another one of my deadpanned looks. He cleared his throat and expanded, "See? He's still madly in love with you!"

"Why do I have a feeling that's not exactly how the story went? And aren't you the slightest bit concerned with the fact that he's not speaking with you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, "Besides, he's not in love with me—"

"Sure he is and—"

The door opened and we both turned around. "Oh, sorry," she began, but she froze. It was Selene. She blinked, frowning, "Lily," she managed. Her facial expression was unreadable, but I'm pretty sure I knew what she wanted to express—absolute loathing. "Sirius," she added curtly. Then she slammed the door shut. My luck just keeps getting better and better.

I cursed, jumping up, "Now—fix this now!" I demanded, pointing towards the doorway. Sirius just scoffed.

"Who cares what Selene thinks?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes, "She's always been an annoying—" he stopped as I gave him a furious look, "Right…I forgot you're mates," he rolled her eyes, "She's a bit irritating, though, you have to admit."

"Yeah, well she's in love with you so now she's furious with me because she thinks we're dating!" I snapped.

Oops.

That really was my bad. I'm a god-awful person sometimes. I really don't blame Selene for hating me now. I'm the worst friend ever…I think it's official.

"You can't tell her I said that," I said quickly.

"Great," Sirius looked glum, "Another crazy girl following after me…."

"Well if you weren't such an arrogant prat you probably wouldn't—"

"My handsome good looks can't be helped!"

"Fine, I'll just fix this myself!" I snapped, ignoring him. I stalked out of the classroom, running after Selene, "Selene! SELENE!"

She stopped finally after I'd run after her, cutting her off before I lost her...again.

"What?" she spat, "Don't you have a boyfriend to attend to?"

"We're not dating," I said quickly, "I promise. It's all part of some weird scheme Sirius came up with—I really don't know how it started, and it just snowballed and he's not even listening to what I say anymore—"

"Lily, if you liked him, all you had to do was tell me," Selene said, looking more upset than angry now. This was worse. I sort of wish she'd just yell at me like Marlene does, "This—I just—I can't talk to you right now," she said, pushing me out of the way and hurrying off.

Will people quit running away from me? Ah Merlin. I give up. Maybe I should just sit out the rest of my year in my dorm room and have the house elves send me food.

Or maybe I'll just skip lunch all together and go drown myself with bubbles in the Prefect's bathroom.

Yes. That sounds lovely.

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! I decided since it took me ages to upload the last one, I'd upload this chapter super quick! Enjoy. (Sorry no one has made up yet. Lily's not the best at apologizing). **


	11. Mistake 9: Apologizing Gone Wrong

**XI. Mistake 9—Apologizing Gone Wrong**

I decided that I had to find the next best person—James Potter. Since both Marlene and Selene were avoiding me, the only other person on my list—well, besides Sirius—was James. As much as I would like to kill Sirius as well, I think he's avoiding me. Wait, actually I _know_ he's avoiding me.

He's absolutely nuts. He left me a note when I ran off after Selene. Figures. He's just the sort.

This is what it said:

**Lily Flower,**

He really needs to stop that. I swear, he will be the reason I get put in Azkaban before the holidays. I really can't bother to have that be on my record.

**It seems that you really **_**are**_** upset.**

**Don't be mad at me. After all, Sirius knows best! **

Who is he kidding?

**Anyway, good luck with your mates. I'm going to be a bit scarce because I really can't afford us breaking up. Not when we've gotten so much progress! Prongs is absolutely furious. I think Emmeline is getting the hint. They're not even talking. How brilliant are we?**

**Okay, fine, how brilliant am I? You really are being forced into my brilliant plan, but I don't think you'll live to regret it. (See the second line from the top).**

**Who knows, maybe you and Prongs will really end up together in the end. You did say you'd rather date him than me…and you're dating me…so I think his chances have gone up enormously! Wait until he hears the new statistics! But before we get you two together, we have to figure out this ordeal with the Prude Queen. Ta ta, Lily flower! **

**Sincerely, your temporary fake boyfriend,**

**Sirius Black**

I know. He's absolutely mad.

When I find him again, he will regret ever coercing me into his stupid, stupid ideas. However, I am going to find James first and explain all of this to him.

Of course, like everyone else in the bloody castle, that was proving pretty difficult to do.

"Remus Lupin!" I said, spotting the sandy haired boy. He was walking back to the Gryffindor tower from the library. He paused, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Lily," he said, his lips twitching. Oh Merlin, I think he knows.

"Do you know where I can find James?" I asked, my breaths coming short after running up the stairs.

He stared at me for a long moment, "Why should I tell you?" he asked finally.

I stared at him. Alright now. I mean, yes, Remus was a Marauder but we got along reasonably well! I cleared my throat, "Because it's important."

"Hm," he said, wearing a weird expression, "Listen, I don't know what you and Sirius are playing at—"

"We're not dating," I blurted out.

Remus chuckled, "Of course you're not."

"We're not!"

"I know, Lily," he grinned, "You and Sirius would make an awful couple."

"Er—thanks," I said, blinking once I realized he wasn't taking the mickey out of me.

"But I just don't understand what you two think you're doing…Sirius told me to trust him," Remus rolled his eyes, "But sometimes he gets carried away. He won't tell me because he's afraid I'll tell James. Apparently that will 'ruin the plan'."

"Oh, well, we're breaking up him and Emmeline," I said, shrugging, "But none of that even matters anymore—"

"Wait," Remus interrupted, "Why do you want them to break up?"

I blinked. I still didn't entirely understand that myself, "Black coerced me," I muttered. He just stared, "It's not my fault," I added feebly. That argument was beginning to seem less and less believable every time I said it.

"Somehow," he began slowly, "You don't strike me as easily coerced, Lily."

Probably because that was true, "Okay…well it was that a little…and I just don't like Emmeline. I thought it was going to be making her hair frizz or something…I didn't know I was going to end up dating Sirius! I don't want to date him anyway! I'm NOT dating him!" I said in frustration, "But no one believes me! My mates won't talk to me, and now I need to find James because he's royally pissed for reasons I don't understand—"

"Well, he's still in love with you," Remus said, shrugging.

Okay. People really need to stop saying that.

"He is not," I said in annoyance. What is more annoying is Remus says it so casually as if it's some well known fact. That's absurd.

"He is…or he'll realize he is soon enough. Either way…" Remus seemed to be thinking, "I mean, this was a risky plan on Sirius' part. I thought James was going to punch him earlier today at breakfast when Sirius was talking about you. He's definitely envious…so Sirius' plan is working I guess. Hopefully he won't kill him before he even gets the chance to put you two together—"

"Wait—what?" I asked, frowning.

Remus blinked, "Er—huh?"

"Did you just say that Sirius wants James and I together?" I asked in disbelief, "As in dating?"

Remus just blinked, "Of course not. Er—James is out on the Quidditch Pitch," he said before hurrying off.

"Wait! REMUS LUPIN!" I shouted as he scampered off.

People really suck. I'll just weasel it out of Remus later. Right now, I have to accomplish number 3 on my list: Apologize to James Potter. Perhaps number 6 on the list can be assault Remus Lupin.

Either way, I listened to the bloke and hurried down to the pitch. It was already later in the evening and being now the beginning of October it was already getting dark. He was there, of course. It seems obvious now. Where else would James Potter be? Duh. The Quidditch Pitch.

He didn't see me at first, and I wasn't sure if I should yell at him. I figured that wouldn't be the best. He might fly away (since everyone else seems bent on running away from me). Instead, I waited. I took a spot on the bleachers, but he must've been really lost out there because he didn't notice me for awhile.

Or maybe he noticed me and was hoping I'd give up and go away.

Haha. Yeah right. I'm Lily Evans. I don't just give up.

Usually.

When he finally acknowledged me, he flew towards the bleachers, pulling a side stop in mid air and just hung there. I stared at him, finding myself at a loss for words. I couldn't just say sorry…and I don't know why. We can pretend it's because it wasn't my fault to begin with—but I'm not sure that's quite it.

"What are you doing?" he asked finally.

"I wanted to talk to you," I said, finding my voice at last.

He nodded and instead of getting off his bloody broom, he flew down to the ground. Great. I rolled my eyes but grudgingly made my way down the bleachers.

At least he wasn't running away. That had to be improvement.

"Hey," I said weakly as I approached him.

"Hey," he echoed back, his hand running through his hair. Merlin, I hate it when he does that. He noticed me staring and quickly stopped, "So?" he said finally, "Are you looking for Sirius or something?" the way he said it was with so much venom, I nearly tripped over myself.

"Er—no," I said slowly, "I actually wanted to talk to you about that…"

"What's there to say?" he said in a hard voice, "You two like each other, yeah?"

"NO!" I blurted.

James looked surprised at my outburst, "Er—what?"

"No, you don't understand. It's all been blown out of proportion. I don't even like him! We're barely friends—he said we'd get an A in Potions, and I don't know why I don't like Emmeline. It's not my fault he's got these crazy ideas. Then he just had to go and make all this stuff up about me being the other woman and Merlin knows what he is thinking half the time! He sprung that stupid kiss on me and everything. Selene and Marlene aren't talking to me, and Remus is saying nonsensical things. Everyone hates me—even you!" I said this all rather quickly and in one breath.

James just stared at me in return, "Is that supposed to make any sense whatsoever?" he asked finally, "And what's this rubbish about me hating you?"

"Well you certainly don't love me," I said before I could stop myself. Oh dear. This was getting worse by the second, "Not that you would…or that you have. Because you haven't. Sirius is just stupid."

"What has Sirius been telling you?" James asked, looking furious now. Oh grand. I've royally screwed up again, haven't I? What else is new?

"Nothing—just—never mind. The point is, I'm really sorry and we're not dating and I don't even care if Sirius' stupid plan is working if it's going to make you and all my mates mad!"

"What plan?" James asked, looking strained. This conversation is not going as planned. I was supposed to be apologizing, remember?

"Um…I don't think you need to concern yourself with the details," I began feeling as if I was going to regret this whole thing, "You just don't need to worry about Sirius and I…we're not together. We weren't—ever."

"Why should I believe you, over my best mate?" James asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Because—"

"Listen, Lily," he said tiredly, "Maybe this is something you should work out with your _boyfriend_," he said beginning to walk away.

"Damnit Potter! He's NOT my boyfriend!" I shouted after him. James turned and stared at me.

"Fine. What's it to me?"

"Why are you being such a jerk?"

"Why do you think I care? I have a girlfriend, remember? I just thought that if you decided to date my best mate that the two of you would have mentioned something beforehand—"

"Oh because you're my mummy now, are you?" I snapped, "I have no obligation whatsoever—"

"Well considering our history—"

"Our history?" I asked, my voice progressively rising, "You mean where you stalked me?"

"I did not stalk you," he said in exasperation, "I was stupid—I was fifteen!"

"And you think that's changed," I said coldly.

James looked at me for a moment that lasted forever, "Like I said, Evans," he said coldly, "I already have a girlfriend. I'm glad I didn't bother waiting around for you."

Then he left.

And I didn't.

I just stood there for a long moment, feeling as if everything around me had fallen apart. I'm not really sure why either.

You think I would be glad. It was obvious James had no feelings for me now whatsoever. He'd moved on and found a great girl (ahem). But yet, his parting words had really stung.

It wasn't like I fancied him. That was the impossible.

So why did it hurt so much?

I had given up. I just figured if everyone else was going to ignore me, I was going to ignore them too. I went to class, but otherwise, I would say I'm very nifty at avoiding everyone—well except that Sirius keeps managing to find me. He keeps saying we need to talk.

I just stunned him and left him in the Charms corridor. I hope he won't be too upset.

Ah…like I actually care.

I'm just so sick of everyone. I'm furious with Marlene and Sirius. I haven't tried to talk to Selene since she ran away from me last, and I don't even want to think about James.

Ever.

Of course, he's all I seem to think about now. Even now, as I sit in the very back corner of the library, pretending to study.

I skipped tutoring and Head duties this week, but neither James nor Emmeline has tried to seek me out. I guess they don't really care.

They have each other anyway…I'm sure they talk about me all the time. How stupid Lily is for nearly failing Transfiguration. What a backstabbing slag she is for dating Sirius…and what on earth has she tried to do to her hair?

I'm sure those are the sort of things they talk about.

If I could talk to Marlene right now, she would tell me I'm being self-centered.

"Lily!"

Aw, crap. Sirius has found me…again.

"What do you want?" I hissed, beginning to gather my things up.

"No!" he said, "Listen, I think we need to call it off—"

I don't know what happened, but I think I finally lost it. It was worse than when I yelled at Potter, "Now?" I demanded, "NOW? After all my friends have abandoned me? After everyone in the school has been calling me names behind my back? You decide to call it off NOW? After you're stupid friend acted like a gigantic PRICK!" I shouted, attempting to smack him with one of my books. He's nimble though because he steps out of my way easily looking a little embarrassed.

"Er—" Sirius scratched his head, "Lily, we're in the—"

"You are the biggest GIT I'VE EVER—"

"What in the world is all this ruckus!" came a screech. Oh. Right. The librarian. She wasn't too pleased. She practically chased us out of the library—in fact, I'm not allowed back in all week. Apparently that's supposed to teach me a lesson.

"Listen, Lily, you're right, I should've listened to you—James is even more upset, and he won't talk to me, and Remus told me I was being stupid and that I shouldn't have brought you into this—"

"Oh, now you realize it?" I asked, dryly.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," he said, looking at me straight in the eye.

"Yeah? Well you're not forgiven," I said childishly.

"Lily," he said, grinning, "C'mon, let's go find your mates and I'll explain it to them—"

"No," I said, shaking my heads, "You can go find them—I'm not talking to them. Do you want to know who I'm not talking to? Marlene, YOU, Remus, James, and you know, let's just throw Peter in there for good measure—"

"Quit being so dramatic—"

"Oh and Emmeline….and Mary. And maybe not Selene, although she's the only one who will get a proper apology at the end of this."

"You're talking to me now," Sirius pointed out.

"Well this was an exception…and I'm done now. You can go and try to fix all of it, but I've decided I've given up and I don't care."

"Well, you're going to be friendless for awhile if you keep that attitude up," he said, as he began to walk with me back to the common room.

"Well, if they're too daft to come to their senses—"

"You really aren't the forgive and forget type, are you?"

"You really screwed up, I hope you know," I said bitterly.

Sirius was silent for awhile, "I suppose…although, you never had to agree to help me in the first place. I wouldn't have really made you fail Potions."

"Don't—even—say—that…" I muttered, giving him a deadly look.

"Er—okay…" we walked back in silence. I didn't say anything to him as we entered the common room. Marlene, Selene, Jasmine and Mary were sitting around the fire, laughing about something. I caught Marlene's eye. She immediately frowned. I just turned my head away and headed upstairs. I pulled the curtains around my bed and cast a silencing charm.

Then I just cried, feeling thoroughly miserable…all because I couldn't seem to make proper apologies.

**A/N: Another speedy update! Please, enjoy and R/R :)**


	12. Mistake 10:Reconciling With James Potter

**XII. Mistake 10—Reconciling With James Potter **

Okay, so after a long week of ignoring nearly everyone, I think I'm making some progress. Marlene is beginning to feel a bit bad, and even Sirius decided to make it painfully obvious in Transfiguration yesterday afternoon that we were not dating, but today was Friday and the only class I had was Arithmancy which neither Marlene or Selene take.

But James is in that class…of course.

I mean, usually I wouldn't _care_, but for some reason, I can't get rid of this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I see him, it's like the bottom drops out, and I forget what I'm doing or what I should be focusing on.

I know what it sounds like…and I don't fancy him. It's just…strange. We've always had a weird and twisted (on his part) sort of relationship. Maybe I just don't like the fact that he's angry with me. That's probably it. Usually I'm the one angry with him—not the other way around.

Unfortunately, our class is relatively small—some people aren't too fond of NEWT level Arithmancy I guess because half of them dropped it after our OWLs. I enjoy it, personally. Today, however, I took a seat in the back…mainly because one of Emmeline's best mates, Samantha Owens, is giggling over something and staring at me as I walk in. Her whispers aren't that hard to hear either.

"I can't believe she thought she could date a Marauder," she whispered to the only Hufflepuff girl in our class. Some people seriously need to get a life.

I think James heard them too because he turned around and stared at me. I immediately looked down, feeling queasy again. Luckily, class began, so I tried to let that distract me. The only problem was every time I looked up at the Professor, I found myself staring at the back of James' messy, unkempt head. So I figured I should just look down at my parchment where I doodled and forgot all about taking notes…I suppose I'll just have to catch up later, I thought miserably as the bell rang.

I was the first one out the door, but James still managed to catch up with me only a moment later as I took down the corridor, "Evans," he said.

I pretended I couldn't hear him and began walking faster. After all, that usually works. In fact, the moment I turned the corner I took off in a full on sprint.

Sadly, it didn't work.

Somehow, he came out from another tapestry and appeared in front of me.

How do they do that?

"Seriously, Lily, can you just stay put?" he asked in frustration.

"What do _you_ want?" I sneered. That was probably uncalled for. Kind of.

"Listen, I spoke with Sirius," he said, eyeing me uncertainly, "And while I still don't understand what the hell you two thought you were doing, but he did mention that it was mostly his fault."

"Mostly?" I muttered, scowling deeply.

"Yeah," James nodded, "So you should ignore what Samantha and Leah were saying…they're immature."

Easy for him to say.

"I suppose," I shrugged, "I don't care," I lied.

James grinned, "Good."

We stared at each other for a moment, and I cleared my throat, "Er—well—if that's it—"

"Wait," he stopped me, placing his hand on my shoulder to stop me. Needless to say, I froze. My heart was beating unusually fast…because he was touching my shoulder? What was wrong with me? I must've sniffed a spoilt Potion the other day or something… "I still need to apologize," he admitted with a sigh.

He was apologizing to me?

"I was out of order the other night…" he muttered, looking down. Okay. Apparently, he isn't good at the whole apology thing…does he have to look so cute while he does it?

scratch that last sentence. That was me falling into a lapse mild insanity…in fact, perhaps I have contracted some sort of disease from Sirius. A disease of the mind. Oh dear.

"It's alright," I said, shrugging. It wasn't alright though. I was still angry with him, but I couldn't say so.

He nodded, looking at me expectantly.

"Er—is that it?" I asked rather feebly after a moment.

"Don't you have something to say as well?"

"No," I said, staring at him blankly.

"You weren't exactly a pocket full of sunshine yourself," he reminded, frowning.

"Oh, well sorry," I snapped, "Maybe you shouldn't have been telling me to go and shag Sirius—who may I add—is most definitely, never, ever going to be my boyfriend. Trust me…I'm still washing my mouth out with soap."

Instead of being angry, James started to laugh. I couldn't help it, I smiled too. Then the both of us began laughing, probably looking like a pair of loons in the corridor, but it was okay.

Because James wasn't mad at me.

One down…only a few more to go.

"I'm sorry for what it's worth. I guess I let my temper get the best of me," I admitted, not feeling very angry with him anymore.

"It's alright…besides, I had to apologize. I couldn't have you skip rounds _again_," he said, giving me a pointed look.

I pretended to look innocent, "What? When were those? Oh…no, that was last night wasn't it?"

"You're not a very good liar, Lily," he said as we began walking down towards the Great Hall. I just laughed but then stopped suddenly.

"Er—I think I'm going to go to the library," I said, losing my appetite. I wasn't quite ready to face my friends just yet.

"The library?" James asked, "On a Friday?"

"Er—yes…you know that…uh…Defense essay."

Which I already finished…but he had no way of knowing that. I hope.

"Lily," James said in exasperation, "You are not going to the library. You need to eat—"

"No I don't," I said very quickly, "I ate breakfast. That's the most important meal of the day. Not lunch. Besides, they never have dessert at lunch and—" I began to ramble.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting together. I swallowed.

"Nothing."

"Do you remember what I just said about you being an awful liar," he asked, looking amused. I crossed my arms.

"I'm not lying. I just don't want to eat, that's all."

Then my stomach just had to rumble. Like I said…the unluckiest week of my life.

James raised his eyebrows, "Lily, you're being ridiculous—"

"I just don't want to see Marlene and Selene yet."

James' expression cleared instantly, "Ah," he said, nodding, "Well that's easily resolved—you can sit with me," he said.

I tried to argue and explain that it wouldn't help the situation, but since when does James Potter listen to me? He pulled me along into the Great Hall to where his friends were sitting at the Gryffindor Table. Everyone looked up.

I sat down across from Remus who looked surprised to see me. Peter just gave me a nod and said, "Hello, Evans." However, Sirius' expression was priceless. His eyes widened, and he blinked.

"Er—Evans," he coughed, "Er—how've you been?" he looked quickly between James and I. James wasn't paying him any attention, though.

"Bugger off, Black," I snapped.

He winced, "Still mad I take it?"

James snorted at this, and I threw him a nasty look before turning my glare to Sirius, "Black—you are not allowed to speak to me, is that understood?"

"Why—"

"I will hex you," I said threateningly.

He glanced around the table. Peter was trying to hold in his laughter. Remus had gone back to his book, and James just shrugged.

"You deserve it. I'm just much more forgiving than Lily is, that's all."

"Hold on," I interrupted, "Since when am I not forgiving?"

"You're still mad at Marlene, aren't you?" Remus said, without glancing up.

"Lupin, I'm still mad at you as well," I snapped at him.

Everyone, including Remus looked at me. "Why?" Sirius asked in confusion.

Remus placed down his book and gave me a significant look towards James, "I don't know what you're talking about, Lily."

"Whatever," I said sourly. I hadn't forgotten about what he said…something about them wanting _me_ to date James. Ridiculous. People shouldn't keep secrets. Me included. Otherwise things just get confusing.

But you know what isn't confusing?

The fact that Emmeline Vance is giving me a dirty glare from the Ravenclaw table.

Ha.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Otherwise, the rest of today was going by pretty well for the most part. James wasn't angry at me. Emmeline was. Then I ran into Selene. Literally. I had turned the corner heading back to the common room and—smack.

"I'm so—oh," Selene's voice trailed off. She blinked at me.

"Hey," I managed.

"Hey," she echoed.

"Sorry about that," I said after a moment of silence. Selene just stared. Oh it was so unnerving. Was I the only person that talked a lot when she was nervous or angry? "Listen," I said bracingly, "I really am sorry about this. Will you just hear me out?" I asked before she tried to interrupt, "It was a total misunderstanding. Sirius and I never were dating—and I didn't know that he was going to…" the words couldn't come out of my mouth. Urgh…kissing Sirius Black. Never again. "…do that," I substituted lamely. Selene crossed her arms at this, looking skeptical, "And I never liked him—ever. Right now, he's lucky he's got his testicles in place—"

"Lily!" Selene admonished. I grinned. At least my vulgarity was getting some sort of reaction from her, "I know," she said, shaking her head, "I just…I was upset, you know? And I got worked up about it the more I thought…anyway, I sort of figured that you had been right from the beginning, but then you were so mad—and Marlene's been such a sourpuss—"

Only Selene would describe someone as a sourpuss. I chortled, and Selene smiled tentatively at me before embracing me tightly, "I'm sorry that I was ignoring you! I should have let you explain everything sooner," she let go, "Speaking of which—what _was_ going on between you and Sirius?"

"Wha—oh—it was nothing," I muttered.

"Lily," Selene's eyes flashed warningly.

"You're going to be mad," I said meekly, "Can I say it when Marlene is present?" There was a slim chance that Marlene would find the whole situation funny—Selene, not so much.

"It's that bad?" Selene asked aghast.

I didn't answer her but pulled her along as we went to find Marlene. Marlene spotted me first in the common room and immediately scowled and turned away.

"Mar," Selene said in annoyance, "Quit being so prattish. Lily and I've made up."

Marlene raised her eyebrows, "Really?" she threw me a dirty look.

"Yes, now come on. She wanted you to be present before she explained herself properly."

"This should be good," Marlene muttered under her breath. She didn't know I could hear her. I just grimaced.

"Yeah…that's for sure," I said. Marlene glanced at me but said nothing.

Why was she so angry anyway? How was it that Selene was fine, but Marlene was still throwing a hissy fit like a two year old? I think I have a right to be miffed with her at this point.

"Okay," Selene said as we made ourselves comfortable in our dorm room. It was Friday afternoon, so Mary and Jasmine were out—probably on the grounds instead of stuck inside their dormroom.

"Er—well," I racked my brains, "I guess it started with Sirius being my Potions partner—" Marlene snorted, so I paused to give her a dirty look, "He…er…decided one day that he didn't like James dating Emmeline. Then, he said he needed my help, and I didn't really know why…I wasn't going to do it but then he was threatening to make me fail in Potions—"

"Lily," Selene said, frowning, "How could you? Why didn't you just tell Slughorn—?"

"Because Lily doesn't like Emmeline," Marlene said, chuckling for the first time.

"That's horrible!"

"I thought we were just going to pull a prank on her or something. I didn't know he was going to try and make his own mate jealous—" I defended.

"I can't believe he would do that!" Selene said, looking angry.

"Told you he was an ass," Marlene said lightly.

"I can't believe you agreed!" she said turning on me. Why did Selene always make me feel like I was being reprimanded by my mother?

I sighed, "I know, I'm sorry…but besides the whole…incident in the corridor, we never accomplished anything."

"Emmeline has never done anything wrong. I don't understand what your problem is with her, Lily," Selene said, glaring at me. Geez. Doesn't she ever get tired of this lecture?

I gritted my teeth, "Never mind it, Selene. It's over. I'm sorry."

"You need to tell her that…not me."

I gave her a look of disbelief, "You want me to tell her…oh by the way, Sirius and I have been trying to break up Hogwart's perfect couple."

"No," Marlene butted in.

"Yes," Selene glared at Marlene who shrugged.

"Fine, but I'm just thinking…Emmeline and James are okay aren't they? Why do we need to intervene with their perfect relationship?" Marlene asked rolling her eyes.

Perfect? I swallowed. I mean….they weren't perfect together…were they?

I mean, I guess she was the sweet, popular, yet studious, Ravenclaw Prefect. He was the popular, intelligent, handsome, Quidditch captain.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Fine," Selene snapped, "This isn't done yet, Lily. That was wrong," she said, giving me a sharp look like a mother gives her two year old who might've stolen sweets.

"I know," I said, squirming under her glare.

"I actually think it's kind of funny," Marlene said, breaking into a grin, "Why didn't you say all this from the beginning?"

I did. Well, mostly.

"Well…I just felt awful about all of it…and I knew Selene wouldn't be too pleased with me," I muttered, glancing at her. She just rolled her eyes.

"I mean…as long as you're sorry," she said grudgingly, "I suppose it's best if we kept this to ourselves."

"True," Marlene nodded, "Good. I'm glad that we're not fighting anymore—"

I glared at her, and Selene cleared her throat, "Er—Mar…" she gave her a glance that Marlene took with a heavy sigh.

"Oh right," Marlene rolled her eyes, "Lily, you know I'm sorry. Do I have to apologize? I think apologizing gives me hives."

"You're the worst," Selene said, flopping onto Marlene's bed but grinning nonetheless.

"It's alright," I said, breaking into a smile. Hell. I couldn't be mad at Marlene. It was impossible.

And just like that, everything was alright.

You know, except for the weird feeling in my stomach that keeps appearing when James' name is mentioned. Maybe it would have been better to have kept ignoring him all together. Who needs apologies anyway?

Because I know one thing: these tingling feelings-they cannot be good.

**A/N: Yay! R/R :)**


	13. Mistake 11: Eating Chocolate for the

**XIII. Mistake 11—Eating Chocolate for the Wrong Reason  
**

Things are back to normal. Not only that, this week it's Halloween.

Finally!

After this horrible month of October (due mainly to the idiocy of Sirius Black) I have found myself looking forward to October 31st at last. I was trying to convince Potter to hold a Halloween ball but neither he nor Dumbledore really liked my idea.

Apparently Dumbledore thought it would get out of control.

Potter thought my masquerade idea was lame.

Well, I would be more insulted, but Dumbledore said we'd still get the annual Hogsmeade visit, so that's good enough for me, I guess.

Anyway, the most surprising thing happened today. Benjy asked Marlene out.

I still thought he was dating Nicolette. Apparently I was wrong. Marlene claimed they'd been broken up for an entire week. Apparently I don't pay attention to the social hierarchy and dating chains here at Hogwarts and I should be more interested in everyone's business. That's what Mary told me anyway.

So now, it's just Selene and I going to Hogsmeade together which isn't bad, but she doesn't enjoy Honeydukes nearly as much as Marlene and I do.

This was my plan anyway until Selene had to come and ruin it.

"Lily!" Selene was beaming when she entered the common room. I'd been reading, avoiding my Defense essay for the moment, sitting in my favorite armchair by the fire.

"Hey Selene," I said putting down my book. Marlene had ditched me earlier, so I was happy to have someone else to hang around with. Ha. Little did I know.

"You won't believe it!" she said eagerly, "Guess what?"

"Er—you ate an entire chocolate frog on your own?" I suggested.

"No," Selene said giving me a weird look, "You know I don't even like chocolate frogs…but that's beside the point!" she said happily.

"Okay," I shrugged giving up, "What is the point?"

"Amos Diggory asked me to Hogsmeade."

That Hufflepuff prat? I almost said it out loud. Oh no. I'm starting to sound like Black.

"Er—wow," I managed.

Okay, I actually didn't hate Amos Diggory. He was just a bit…pompous at times. It's irritating after five minutes. Trust me. We had to be Potions in Herbology in fifth year. He was a total ponce.

"I know! I mean, I never thought in a million years that he'd fancy me—"

"Don't say that, Selene," I said, grinning, "You're quite the catch."

Selene blushed and sat on the arm of my chair, still grinning, "I'm just…" she sighed happily, "You know," she said, giving me a curious look, "If you ever did fancy Sirius, I wouldn't be upset if you dated him…now," she added smiling sheepishly.

Really? Is she really bringing that up _now_?

"You don't have to worry," I assured her. Urgh. Didn't everyone realize by this point that the whole thing had been a sham? Selene especially!

"Yes, I suppose James would kill him, wouldn't he?" she said, nodding thoughtfully.

Uh…well that wasn't really my reasoning behind it. The fact that Sirius is a complete and utter moron was my reasoning behind it…

"You know," Selene said thoughtfully, "I always kind of thought the two of you would end up together. In our fourth year, Mar bet me ten gallons that you'd end up dating James Potter by the end of seventh year."

"You bet on me?" I asked in shock. I mean, I expected that sort of behavior from Mar, but Selene? She didn't even have the decency to look ashamed.

I scoffed, "Well, you're going to be ten gallons richer, Selene. That's ridiculous."

Selene shrugged, "You know, I reckon if Emmeline wasn't in the picture, you two would already be dating. You know how it can be," she grinned, "cozy nights…working as heads…"

"You sound like Marlene," I commented sourly. Marlene was beginning to corrupt her. Great. Just what I needed—two Marlenes.

Selene just grinned. She was too happy for her own good, "Of course, I'm happy for Emmeline, that's all brill, and it's not like you even like James in the slightest—" I think I involuntary twitched at one point in the sentence. Selene eyed me unsurely, "You wouldn't…you don't…" she stared.

Uh. What?

"Selene…complete sentences would be helpful," I prodded after a few seconds of her staring at me with her mouth slightly agape.

"Nothing," she said quickly, standing, "I have to go find Marlene."

"She's probably stalking Benjy—" I began dryly, but she had already hurried out. Huh. That was weird.

Unfortunately, this also meant that my Halloween plans were ruined. I suppose I could hang out with Mary and Jasmine. Resigned, I returned to my book, not nearly as excited for Halloween as I had been.

o..o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Saturday came and I found Mary and Jasmine getting ready.

"Lily, are you going to Hogsmeade?" Mary asked, grinning.

"Yes," I smiled back warmly, "You two are going aren't you?"

"Yes," Jasmine smiled, "We're going dress shopping. My sister is getting married in a few weeks, and McGonagall's given me permission to leave for a few days. I'm so excited! Would you like to come with us? I know that Marlene and Selene have dates…" she trailed off looking hopeful.

Just because of the hopeful face, I almost said yes. Then I got a hold of myself. Dress shopping all day with Mary and Jasmine? I don't think I could do it.

"Er—I'd love to but I told…uh…Remus I'd hang with him. Maybe we can all catch up after for a butterbeer."

"Wait, is this a date—" Mary began.

"No!" I said hastily.

Great. All I needed was people to think I was dating Remus. Jasmine giggled at my expression and shook her head.

"Alright then, have fun, Lily! Maybe we'll see in the Three Broomsticks," she said cheerfully before going back to her previous chatter about what color dress she should get.

I hurried downstairs, looking for Remus. He wasn't in the common room, so I made my way to their dorm. I knocked on the seventh year door and waited. Unfortunately, James opened the door. He stared at me in surprise. He must have just gotten out of bed because his hair was more tousled and unkempt than usual. He blinked at me through his glasses.

"Lily?"

"Hey James," I said, my voice a little higher than usual. Why wasn't the bloke wearing a shirt, "Er—is Remus around?"

James blinked again and nodded, "Moony! Lily's here! Er—you can come in," he said uncertainly giving me a look that I couldn't read.

"Oh, that's alright," I said quickly, "I just—"

"Evans?" Sirius had opened the door all the way, "Evans!" he cried happily, "Come in, come in," he said, pulling me in. James laughed while I scowled unhappily.

"Hey Lily," Remus said. He was the only one out of the four of them that was dressed for the day. Peter sleepily poked his head out of his curtains.

"Why is Evans in here?"

"I dunno," James responded.

"To see me, of course," Sirius said, smirking.

"Er—no, actually. Remus, I have a favor," I said, grinning.

"Oh no," James muttered under his breath.

I shot him a look, "What?"

"Nothing," James said innocently.

He's such a prat sometimes. I swear. I decided to ignore him and turned back to Remus, "Listen, so I don't know what you had planned for today—"

"You're asking Moony on a date?" Sirius asked, looking shocked and distressed.

Does he ever shut up? I thought dryly. Then I noticed everyone's reactions, and I felt like laughing but decided that would be highly inappropriate. James looks white, and Peter actually pulled open his curtains and stared at me. I just sighed deeply.

"No, you prat. Sorry Remus," I added. Remus just nods, looking relieved. Although, I really don't think going on a date with me would be _that_ horrid. Come on! "Anyway," I said, shooting Sirius a glare, "I was kind of hoping to get out of dress shopping with Mary and Jasmine, so I wanted to see what you were up to? Just hanging out…you know, cause we're mates."

"What about me?" Sirius asked.

"I don't like you," I said, grinning.

"Well, of course," Remus said as we ignored Sirius' cries of outrage, "It's just Sirius, Peter and I today though…so if you don't mind hanging out with all of us…"

"Well, you know, I can meet up with you lot later," James suggested.

"Aren't you spending the day with Emmeline?" Remus asked, surprised.

"Er—well—yes, but I figure I can meet up with you later. She can come too," James said, shrugging carelessly.

"Brilliant," I said quickly, "Well, I'll let you finish getting ready," I said, willing my eyes not to look at James' exposed chest. Bad. Very bad.

Then I ran out of there before my eyes could betray me.

Oops.

Hogsmeade. Even with the Marauders, it's still enough to make me grin. It was pretty chilly out, so we went into Zonko's—Sirius' favorite store. It was taking him forever, so I spent most of my time joking around with Remus and Peter. I'd never really spoken to Peter much, but he's a bit of a laugh surprisingly. I think he's just shy or something. I suppose having friends like James and Sirius could be intimidating. I mean, look what happens to me when I'm only Potions partners with Sirius! My life turns into absolute chaos.

While Remus and Peter accidently set off dungbombs, I'm off at the other end of the store letting my mind wander. Surprisingly enough, I find myself wondering what James and Emmeline are doing, so stupidly enough, I ask. Remus and Peter had run over to me, chuckling. Peter's face was bright red, and Remus appeared to be choking. I ignored this little spectacle and poked Remus.

"So…"

"Did you see that?" Peter asked, his eyes wide. Remus laughed loudly, so I poked him again.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Nothing," I said. I took a breath, "Er—so…what do you think James is up to? He's with Emmeline, yeah?" Remus didn't say anything, "What do you think they're doing?" I continued after a short silence, "You know, on their date?" I pressed. Remus was staring at me like I'd asked him to prance around the shop naked.

"Well…er…I dunno," he said, "Why do you ask?" still wearing a funny expression on his face.

"Oh, no reason—"

"Remus! Look what I found!" Sirius said, bounding up, "They got in a box early—of the easy wet-start fireworks. A new prototype! Remember we saw the ad and they aren't supposed to be out until Christmas! They said since I'm a valued customer that I can get it a month earlier! Isn't that sweet? Filch won't even know what hit him! I'm sure they don't tell him when Zonko's comes out with new firecrackers!"

"Hey Sirius," Remus said, giving him a look that I couldn't translate, "Lily here was wondering what James and Emmeline were doing today," he said, giving him a sharp elbow to the ribs which I didn't miss. Sad thing is, I think Remus was trying to be discreet.

Sirius just blinked and began to grin slowly, "Ah…well, why would you care about such a thing, Evans?"

"It was just curiosity…you know, aren't you wondering what Selene is up to?" I said, frowning. It wasn't such a strange question—perfectly normal, actually, considering he's Head Boy. I'm Head Girl. Emmeline is my tutor. So why wouldn't I want to know?

"Not particularly."

"Or Marlene? You play Quidditch together and—"

"Fine, what are your mates doing?" Remus interrupted our argument.

"They're on dates."

Sirius frowned, "With who?"

"Marlene is with Benjy Fenwick and Selene is with Amos Diggory," I said frowning as I said it. It was their faults I was stuck with Sirius, Remus and Peter all afternoon. Though, truth is, I don't mind them. In fact, I find them all hilarious, but I'll never admit that out loud, I don't think.

"They're both prats," Sirius said decisively. I'm pretty sure his eyes had flashed at the name Benjy, but that might also be my overactive imagination.

"They are not," I said, shaking my head. Although, he might be right but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"Back to my question," Sirius said, "What do you want to know about them anyway? They're probably having a romantic evening…candlelight…chocolate…and…" he waggled his eyebrows.

"It's daylight, you twit," I snapped.

"Ah, true," he said, straightening up, "Well…shall I get the fireworks then? I think so."

I don't know what Sirius was getting at. Was James having a lovely time with Emmeline then? And were they really…well…you know. Oh goodness. I hoped not. They hadn't been dating that long, had they?

Oh no. But they wouldn't do that…at Hogsmeade…in public? Ew.

No. No. This couldn't be happening.

Wait, why did_ I_ care? I think because that sort of thing shouldn't be done in public. Yes. That's why it was bothersome. It would bother anyone whether they fancied Potter or not.

I don't, obviously. We're only barely friends. Not even that. Not really. I just pretend to be mates with him because it makes Emmeline angry. And really…where's the harm in that?

Okay, so maybe I should just abandon this whole attempt to ruin Emmeline's life. It's sort of backfired anyway. Instead of making me feel better, it's made my life a lot more difficult. You know what; I'm going to make a new resolution. I'm going to be nice to Emmeline from now on.

See? I can be a good person.

"Ready?" Sirius had appeared again. I nodded, following the boys who decided they wanted to warm up in the Three Broomsticks. They completely ignored my desire to go to Honeydukes. Er—hello? That's only the best place that's ever existed in the wizarding world! Hogwarts following in a close second…

"We'll get chocolate later," Peter said, "Besides, butterbeer is sounding much more appealing than chocolate."

I gave him a look of such disbelief that Remus noticed. He grinned and whispered, "Don't worry, I understand."

A fellow chocolatier! Thank goodness. I gave him a grateful smile. What is wrong with people like Black and Pettigrew? They have no respect for the goodness that is chocolate! Such a shame and waste to wizarding kind.

"Lily?" Remus was snapping in my face, "Are you all there?"

"Wha—oh yes, I'm fine," I said, grinning and pulling myself back to earth. We walked to the Three Broomsticks, but then I felt my feet slow down at the sight in front of me.

Urgh. Gag me.

It was James and Emmeline…full out snogging each other senseless.

That single moment seemed to last forever. I swallowed, remembering to breathe. My stomach didn't really seem all there anymore. It seemed to have dropped, hit the ground and shattered. Strange. Not my usual reaction towards couples, but I guess Potter is the exception.

"Oy, get a room," Sirius joked, breaking me out of my weird reverie. Thankfully, it broke their lips apart. Goodness. Didn't they need to breathe?

Remus, however, was looking straight at me. Like he was trying to read my mind. If he could read my mind, he would know that I was in desperate need of chocolate. Instead, he linked his arm in mine and pulled me into the pub. Great. Not what I needed.

"What are you thinking, Lily Evans?" he whispered.

"Er—what? I'm not doing anything!"

"No," Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation as everyone around us, noisily attempted to find a seat, "What are you _literally_ thinking? I'm trying to figure it out."

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but Sirius cut between us, pulling me along, "What are you two doing? Whispering sweet nothings?" he joked.

Only Peter laughed. Both James and Remus looked sour. Emmeline just looked confused. After James and Emmeline returned with drinks for everyone, the confusion seemed to die down.

"What are you doing here Lily?" she said in surprise, noticing me for the first time.

Be nice. Be nice.

"I'm just hanging with the guys," I shrugged, "You know."

"Ah, Marlene and Selene were busy?" Being nice to her is going to be a lot harder than I thought. You know, I have other friends! Although…they are the Marauders, so I guess I could see the skepticism…but still!

Sirius was visibly scowling now.

"Yes, but we were going to hang out regardless…you know," I elbowed Sirius playfully, "We have history."

James spat his butterbeer out, and Emmeline let out a shriek as some of it sprayed her. Sirius looked at me in surprise before laughing raucously.

"You really are my new favorite, Evans," he said quietly with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get any ideas," I said, smirking nonetheless.

"I thought—" Emmeline began.

"She's joking," Remus said hastily because James' face was a bit red. Oops. Someday I'm going to _really_ date someone and that boy is going to have a heart attack.

Wait. Never mind. That would imply that he likes me.

Which he definitely does NOT.

How are some people so daft when it comes to this subject? Aka Remus Lupin who is looking between us all with great interest.

Maybe James felt like he was getting back at me for the Sirius joke because all of a sudden he and Emmeline were once again all over each other.

Why? I have no idea. It's not like I would be jealous. Jealousy would mean that I liked Potter. That's just ludicrous.

Then why is it when he goes to kiss her again, I can barely register Sirius' comments about too much PDA because I feel sick to my stomach.

I don't want to just burst out of the restaurant, but my choices are becoming slim. That or feel like I might start crying. I'm just going to blame my hormones. This is not my fault.

It's not because I fancy him.

It's not.

I hope.

"Chocolate!" I cried, "I forgot the chocolate."

Then I ran. I didn't wait to see anyone's bewildered looks, or for Remus to stop me and make me face my fears like a grown adult. Sirius called my name, and I distinctly heard James explain to the table that I was a chocolate enthusiast. How did he know I loved chocolate anyway? Actually, I'm a sweets enthusiast in general but forget the particulars.

It's true. I need chocolate. A million bars.

I don't think I have enough gallons to buy the amount of chocolate I need to make myself feel better. Instead, I go and pick the largest box of chocolates they own. As soon as I purchased them, I opened the box, popping one into my mouth as I made the walk back to the castle.

Alone.

I am going to pretend I don't know the real reason I needed all this chocolate. Just so I can not totally loathe myself for one more day.

Denial isn't always a bad thing. Don't they say that ignorance is bliss?

**A/N: Lily needs to come to terms with a few things, huh? R/R! **


	14. Mistake 12: Fancying a Marauder

**XIV. Mistake 12—Fancying a Marauder**

No. It isn't true. It isn't.

"Lily?" I heard Marlene's voice, but I shut my eyes tighter, hoping it would make them go away.

"Is she sleeping?" Selene whispered loudly.

"Are these chocolates?" I heard Marlene pick up the box. Selene whispered something I didn't quite catch. Marlene answered, "I dunno. I thought she was with Mary and Jasmine. They're not back yet." There was a pause, "Maybe she ate too much chocolate…look, the entire box is empty."

"That is a lot of chocolate," Selene agreed, "Even for Lily."

"Should we leave her alone?"

"We'll check on her before dinner," I heard Selene say before the door shut with a click.

My Halloween was ruined.

Ruined!

How could I ever leave my bed after this? I cannot fancy…

I can't even say_ his_ name and fancy in the same sentence.

What is WRONG with me?

All of these horrible things this year have resulted in my fancying…

_Him_.

I can never face the population of Hogwarts again. Can you think about what people will think? First I pretend to date his best friend only to find out I'm in love with my sworn enemy?

Okay. Wait. Not love.

Just a mild crush.

A mini one.

It's no big deal.

I sat up, considering all of this. No one would be able to _tell_ that I fancied him. I didn't need to act like it, for goodness sakes! He doesn't know. No one knows—

Except. Well. Remus and Sirius have speculations….but they don't _know_.

There we go. See, I am brilliant! I knew I was made Head Girl for a reason. I'm going to have to give a good reason for eating all the chocolate. Marlene is going to think I'm depressed otherwise. I'm not, surprisingly, considering that I just realized I like a boy who is completely wrong for me.

He also has a perfect girlfriend.

She's good at Transfiguration. She also doesn't run away from him yelling 'chocolate'. She also doesn't pretend to date his best mate. Maybe I shouldn't go to dinner after all…

"Lily?" Selene had come in again, looking over me unsurely. Not properly thinking, I opened my eyes at the sound of my name, "Oh, you're up!" she said happily, "Are you all right? The feast is staring shortly. Why—?"

"I think I'm ill," I said, coughing. Selene looked at me doubtfully.

"Why did you eat an entire box of chocolates?"

"I was hungry."

"Oh…" she was frowning, "Well, okay. Do you need to go to Madam Pomfrey?"

"No," I closed my eyes, "I think I just need sleep." Please think I'm ill, I repeated in my head silently.

Selene looked unsure, "Is something else wrong—"

"Tell Mar I'm fine and not to worry. Enjoy the feast. Bring me back some treacle tart!" Immediately, I wished I hadn't. I had just told her I had a stomach ache. Selene didn't seem to notice, thankfully.

"Of course," Selene gave me a sympathetic look, "Feel better then Lily."

"Thanks," I croaked. She left shortly after, allowing me to sit back up and continue reading. That was, until the door burst open and Marlene was there, pointing an accusing finger at me.

"Ah ha!" she shouted.

"What?" I asked, sinking farther under my covers.

"You're not sick, Lily, you're reading!" she said stomping up to me and grabbing my book.

"That doesn't mean I'm not sick," I snatched it back.

"You look fine," she said, taking in my appearance with a scrutinizing look, "What's wrong with you anyway?"

"Nothing!"

"It doesn't look like nothing…you ate Honeyduke's biggest chocolate box…all of it!"

"I was—"

"You were not hungry," Marlene interrupted. She sat on the edge of my bed, "Seriously, Lily. What's going on?" she asked, her voice a tad bit softer.

What should I tell her? I can't tell her the truth. The truth will go with me to the grave.

"You're not depressed are you?" she asked, looking towards the empty box of chocolates. See? I know her too well. Just because I eat chocolate doesn't mean I'm depressed. I mean, I guess I consider myself depressed over my newly discovered secret, but no one besides myself needs to know about that.

"No," I said exasperatedly, "I just embarrassed myself earlier…that's all. I really don't feel like going and facing Emmeline," I partly lied.

Marlene gave me a scrutinizing look then rolled her eyes, "Oh whatever, I'll find out what it is later," she said in exasperation, "Come on, now. You can't be missing the feast. It's Halloween!" she added, cheerfully, "You love Halloween," she reminded, tugging me out of bed.

She eventually did convince me to go. I made sure that we sat very far away from the Marauders. Selene kept asking me how I was feeling, and Marlene kept rolling her eyes every time she did so. In order to get the attention off of me, I turned to them and said, "Enough… I'm fine. How did you're dates go?"

Luckily that got Selene started on her wonderful date. Amos was so sweet and absolutely charming and so on and so forth. Marlene was beginning to make faces when she wasn't looking. I glared at her. Did she always have to act like a child?

"Well great, Selene. It sounds like he is…er…fab."

"Fab?" Selene and Marlene echoed.

"Yeah, fabulous."

Selene just giggled, "You're so silly, Lily." Hm. "Marlene, how was your time with Benjy?"

Marlene shrugged, "It was alright. He's much too serious, I'm thinking. He doesn't understand my humor," she said with a heavy sigh. She perked up slightly though and added, "Although he is pretty hot and not a bad kisser…I haven't decided if I'll see him again or not."

"I think he's rather smitten with you," Selene said, smirking and pointing to the Ravenclaw table. He was sitting with his friends, but he kept glancing towards Marlene. Marlene shrugged.

"It was only one measly date…what did you end up doing, Lily?"

"Oh—er—I spent the day with the Marauders…you know, before I fell ill," I added quickly, trying to sound weak and sickly.

Marlene snorted at the last part, but I ignored her.

"Really?" Selene asked, "What happened to Mary and Jasmine?"

"They were shopping for dresses for Jasmine's sister's wedding," I explained.

"Ah," Selene nodded, and Marlene looked sympathetic.

"How awful was it?" she asked, "Stuck in the Marauders presence…you should've crashed my date," she added thoughtfully.

"It wasn't awful," I snapped, "Besides, Remus and I are kind of friends…Black dragged us to Zonko's. Then we went to the Three Broomsticks," I managed casually, "I left early because I was the only one who wanted to go to Honeydukes. I think I ate too much chocolate, actually," I managed to say carefully. See? I could lie. Although, that wasn't a _complete_ lie, right?

"You're not telling us something—" Marlene began. However, we interrupted by a burst of fireworks coming out of the pumpkins. Ah. The Marauder's annual Halloween prank. I'd almost forgotten. I felt a bit guilty realizing these must have been the one's Sirius had purchased. I guess as Head Girl I probably should have stopped him.

Oh well. I have bigger problems.

You know, James Potter for instance.

"Lily? You're looking a bit green," Selene commented.

"I told you I was ill," I muttered, not bothering to touch my food for the rest of the evening.

I was so screwed on this 'fancying James Potter thing'. Great.

The weekend went better than I could have hoped forward. I didn't see Potter once. Marlene was too busy with Quidditch practice to bother me about the Hogsmeade incident, so I was able to forget about it…nearly.

Of course, come classes on Monday, it happened all over again. I was sitting in Defense, chatting with Selene about that French Quidditch player she's obsessed with, when he walked in.

I mean, it was nothing different than usual. He was laughing about something—probably some stupid prank they just pulled or one of Sirius' dumb jokes. But it was all different now. It's like a curtain had been lifted because now I saw someone completely different.

Well, not completely. He still did that obnoxious thing where he ran his hand through his hair making it even messier. He also still looked the same. I mean, even though he wears glasses, I never really thought anything about them. Now I realize they make him look mature and intelligent. (I know, not adjectives that describe him at all). He's got that cute little grin though as he laughs gain.

Uh oh. He spotted me. Actually, he's walking toward me. Crap!

"Hey Lily," he said easily. Why hadn't I noticed how nice my name sounds on his lips? I cannot be thinking this!

"Hey," I managed, grinning a little too widely. He didn't seem to notice.

"Listen, so the Quidditch match is this weekend as you know—" What is he talking about? Why can't I focus on his mouth—I mean face. I mean whatever he's saying. Oh no. Pay attention! "She said it would be fine."

"Er—what?"

James smiled, but he looked slightly exasperated, "Rounds…if we switched them to today instead of tomorrow…because I have practice," he added as I continued to look confused.

"Oh, right, yeah, that's fine, Potter," I said, trying to sound normal. I think I managed alright until I noticed James was frowning.

"Lily," he reminded, "It's James. Come on. I thought we were good now!"

Good? How were we supposed to be good when I just found out the awful truth about me fancying you? How is that _good_ in anyway? Especially when you're dating Emmeline!

Of course, I said nothing like that.

"Right. Sorry, _James_," I said, emphasizing it for his benefit. Just kidding. It was totally because I think I really like the name James. It's so fitting on him.

I think I've gone mad.

James laughed. You see, even he is laughing at my madness. Well, not really because he doesn't know the internal struggle going on in my head...thank God.

"Then tonight at nine," he verified.

"Peachy," I replied grinning. Then he walked away.

Peachy?

PEACHY?

I think I need a brain scan or something.

There must be something seriously wrong with me for saying peachy.

"Peachy?" Selene asked, blinking at me, "What was that about?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

I'm lucky Marlene is late today. Otherwise, my secret would no longer be a secret. I really need to get better at hiding my newfound 'liking' for James.

I think this is going to be harder than it looks.

Why was I made Head Girl again?

"So…you going to the match?"

Just me and James. On patrols. Okay. It's not like I haven't already done this. Normal, Lily. Normal.

"Yes," I replied. See? I can do this. It's a piece of cake.

"Great," he grinned, "We're playing Slytherin…" he said, looking for my reaction.

Oh please. I didn't even root for Slytherin when I was friends with Sev. I just don't hate Slytherins and feel the need to bicker with them like a bunch of first years.

"I know," I said, "You know, I don't hate Quidditch like everyone thinks," I said before I could stop myself.

James looked surprised, "Really? Er—Lily, don't you remember telling me that it was a male chauvinistic sport that continued to support the social hierarchy of Hogwarts?"

Oops.

I was just angry because he'd been playing with that stupid snitch. That was _so_ annoying.

"Oh, I'd forgotten about that," he said thoughtfully, "I must have that snitch somewhere…"

Crap, I must've said that out loud. Yikes.

"Yes, well I do enjoy it. I didn't mean that either. I mean, Marlene plays Quidditch, remember? I don't think we'd be mates if I hated it. I'm certainly not as obsessed, but I love watching you fly—" That's not what I meant, "I mean the team, I love watching you all fly."

My face was the color of a ripe tomato.

"Huh, you love watching me fly, Lily?" he asked, his lips twitching. Yes.

"No," I rolled my eyes for affect, "I probably wouldn't have ever gone to the games if Marlene had never dragged me along in second year."

"Why not?" he asked, looking confused. He probably didn't understand why someone wouldn't want to attend a Quidditch match. Could he be a more typical guy at this point?

"I don't really like heights," I said, shrugging.

"So you don't like flying?" he'd stopped dead in his tracks, as if he'd just uncovered a great yet horrible secret of mine. I guess not many people knew, but it didn't tend to crop in conversations or anything.

"I don't think I would."He looked confused, so I sighed and confessed, "I've never flown before."

"What do you mean you haven't flown?" he asked, looking surprised, "We all have—first year. We took flying lessons, remember?"

"Yes," I frowned, "But I didn't go. I pretended to be ill. Madam Pomfrey didn't believe me, but when I…er…" I began crying because I was afraid I was going to die? Maybe, I'll leave that part of the story out. Marlene swore to never tell anyone, after all. "She just felt bad, so she let it slide and let me hang out in the hospital wing until flying lessons were over."

"You're joking," he said, looking at me in total disbelief. Okay, I realize it's a bit unusual, but it's no need to act is I've declared that I'm some sort of martian and actually have a second head or something. James doesn't seem to agree, but he dropped it, changing the subject to the upcoming holidays and stuff. His parents always force him to go to this fancy Ministry Ball that he hates. "You know, Sirius' birthday is right around New Years," he explained, "so we usually have a small celebration…my mum loves throwing parties, so she always makes a little party out of it and you know, if you wanted to come by…" he trailed off.

He was inviting me? To his place on New Years? What about Emmeline? I mean, wasn't he still dating her? "I know you and Sirius are…" he frowned, "Friends." Ah, right. He was inviting me because of Sirius. That was fine. I mean, I didn't expect him to ditch Emmeline and suddenly declare his undying love for me…again.

I mean, not really realistically or anything.

I felt silly, so I tried to shake off the weird feeling as James waited for my response. Sirius and I friends…psh.

"Yeah," I snorted, "If you can call it that."

"Yeah," he looked at me for a long moment, "Care to explain?" he asked. He wanted me to explain what Sirius and I had been up to?

Fat chance.

"No," I said, frowning, "I thought you weren't angry about that anymore." "I'm not…but I can't help but be curious," he pointed out.

"Curiosity killed the cat," I said simply. He looked like he was going to argue, but I prevented that argument by pointing out the time and saying we ought to head back. We didn't say much as we headed back to the common room.

"Well, see you," I muttered.

"Bye, Lily," he said, looking at me with a look I couldn't describe exactly. I just nodded and scurried off before my mouth betrayed me.

Who knows what I would say anymore.

It wasn't until I was sitting on my bed, flipping through Selene's Witch Weekly that I realized I hadn't given him an answer about New Years.

I was there faster than a niffler on a gold watch.

**A/N: Hmm...read and review?**


	15. Mistake 13: Attending Quidditch Games

**XV. Mistake 13—Attending Quidditch Games**

Tutoring sessions were becoming hell.

I just thank Merlin that I got an 'E' on my last exam otherwise I'd have dropped Transfiguration in a heartbeat.

Why are they so horrible? Let me take you back to Tuesday evening in the library:

We were packing everything up, and I was reasonably happy (considering I'd just finished tutoring with Emmeline) when she began chatting. I should have dashed out when I had the chance.

"So…Lily," she smiled, "Any boys?"

Uh…yours?

"No," I said quickly, "What makes you say that?" I asked, frowning. You can't blame me for being suspicious of her.

"Oh, I was just wondering," she said lightly. There was an awkward pause, so I took my bag to leave when she spoke again, "You know, I know that you and James are…uh…_friends_ now," she managed. Oh great. Just what I need. A warning to tell me to stay away from her boyfriend. I get it! I'm not a boyfriend stealer anyway...I don't think.

"Yes…well…mostly we just do Head stuff." That was true, unfortunately. No late night rendezvous for Lily Evans.

Emmeline pursed her lips (I hate it when she does that), "Right. Well, James and I are doing really well."

Does it look like I care?

"Congratulations," I said rather dryly. I tried to sound enthusiastic...really!

"He invited me up to his family's for New Years," she added smugly. Was she trying to make me jealous? She was already dating him for Merlin's sake! It was working, sadly enough.

"Brilliant," I managed, giving her a tight smile. Then I realized something, "Wait…for Sirius' birthday?"

"Sirius' birthday?" she asked frowning.

"Yeah, James invited me—" I broke off, wondering if I was supposed to mention it. Oops.

Emmeline looked furious, but her words were surprisingly calm, "Oh, really? That's nice," she said in a way that I knew she didn't find it very nice at all.

She looked away, and that's when I realized Emmeline was jealous.

Everything makes sense now! I mean, Emmeline was never mean to me before, but maybe James has been doing other things like proclaiming his undying love for me, so that's why Emmeline is so cross with me all the time.

Because she used to be nice…that's why everyone liked her, remember? (You know, except me and Sirius apparently).

"Listen, he invited me because I'm friends with all the guys." Yes. I'm calling Sirius, Remus, Peter and JAMES my friends. Ha, Emmeline. Sirius doesn't even like you!

I know, I know. I promised that I was going to be nice to Emmeline, but my resolve isn't _that_ strong. At least I'm being nice to her face! Just not inside my head. Is that a crime? I'm sort of sticking to my resolution of not-being-mean-to-Emmeline.

"Of course," she said, but she still looked disgruntled.

I was actually feeling a little bad. I'd probably be upset in her situation.

Then again, if I was in her situation, I would be dating James Potter, so I wouldn't have to deal with myself because I would have already won the guy I love—I mean like. Does that make sense?

"Well, I guess I'll see you later. Thanks," I said, rushing out before she could ask me anything else.

Okay, now you might be thinking, oh that wasn't so bad. It was. Trust me. Because now I can all think about is how I'm a would-be-boyfriend-stealer because I'm fancying James who is already dating Emmeline and obviously pretty smitten with her. (I mean, honestly, if he _was_ proclaiming his undying love for me, he and Emmeline probably wouldn't be dating anymore).

Maybe I'll just curl up in my bed and come out when seventh year is over. Yes. That sounds like a brilliant plan.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

It was cold.

In fact, if Marlene wouldn't have killed me, I probably wouldn't have gone at all. That would've been the best scenario now that I think about it.

Of course, at eight in the bleeding morning Marlene was shaking me awake, "Come on, Lils. Today is a big day! Hearty breakfast!"

"For you," I muttered, but I got up anyway, rubbing my eyes and blinking around the dorm room. Everyone was already up and getting ready for the game.

"You're a Gryffindor," she said, frowning at me, "this is the biggest—"

"Quidditch match of the year," Selene recited looking tired as well, "We know, Mar. You're the one who needs a big hearty breakfast, not us," she added rather snappily.

"It's freezing out today," Jasmine said, looking out at our frost covered windows. It was especially cold for November, I thought gloomy as everyone pulled out their winter scarves and gloves. Everyone was chatting happily. Only Marlene was quiet as we headed to breakfast.

"Don't be nervous," I said, nudging her as Mary talked loudly over me. I tried really hard to ignore her as she giggled about Sirius Black. Even Selene (the girl that was in love with him for two years) looked irritated by her incessant giggles.

"McDonald, leave Black alone," Marlene snap, "We don't need you messing up his game."

Mary looked hurt, but she bit back with a sharp retort, "Just because you can't seem to find a bloke to be hung up about doesn't mean the rest of us can't appreciate a fit and charming one every once in awhile. Why don't you bugger off, McKinnon?"

Since when does Mary have backbone?

Since when does Marlene look like she's going to cry?

Jasmine, Selene, and I sort of froze, watching the scene in shock. I mean, yeah, Marlene is always snapping at people, so that's almost expected. Usually she lays off Mary because Mary tends to be...er...'senistive'. We all were so taken aback by Mary's response that we forgot to do...well...anything. Marlene had then glared at Mary with such venom that Mary literally took a step back, "Marlene—" she began, sounding apologetic.

Marlene turned on her heel and left without a word. Selene looked at me, and I nodded.

"Er—we'll go see…you two head to breakfast." You've done enough damage, Mary.

Mary looked upset, "I hope this doesn't affect her game. I wasn't thinking. It just came out! Marlene just frustrates me sometimes and—"

Jasmine pulled her by the elbow, stopping her babbling, thankfully. That left Selene and I to chase down the corridor Marlene had turned off to. Unlike Marlene, the two of us were sadly out of shape having no athletic ability whatsoever. By the time we reached her, we were huffing and puffing.

"Mar—" I gasped.

"Are you—" Selene clutched her side.

"Upset—geez," I said, leaning against the wall, "How do you run so fast?"

She didn't look upset. Instead, she was watching us in mild amusement, "You two were running?" she asked, smirking, "Now that's something I'd pay a gallon to see."

"Shut it," Selene said, her cheeks red, "Never again. I feel like I'm going to die."

And Selene thinks I'm dramatic?

She manages to catch her breath though and looks to Marlene, "So?" she prodded.

We both turned our gazes on Marlene. I don't think she's very intimated though because she only grins at us, "What?"

"Did you not remember backing down from Mary McDonald two seconds ago after she snapped?"

"Oh, well," Marlene shrugged, "It wasn't worth it. I have to be on my game," she added with a sharp nod, as if reassuring herself.

I didn't believe her, but Selene seemed to be okay with it because she just nodded, "Are you sure?"

She nearly fooled me. She laughed and threw her arms around her, "Since when do I give a shit about what Mary thinks anyway?"

But I know Marlene, and I'm going to figure out why Mary's comment got her knickers all in a bundle. First, however, we should get food in Marlene's stomach because we wouldn't want her fainting in the middle of the match from hunger. When I said this Marlene just grinned.

"Thanks, Lils. I suppose I can still mess with Mary though when I get into the Great Hall?"

"Mar—" Selene began.

Marlene looked exasperated, "I wasn't going to make her cry. Just make her…shiver in her boots a bit."

I wanted to point out that she wasn't wearing boots because she always wears those clickety heels of hers, but then I figured that Marlene probably wouldn't be in the mood to stand corrected. She and Selene bickered until we got to the Great Hall. I then took the liberty of trying to shove bacon and coffee down her throat before James came over to collect her.

"C'mon McKinnon," he muttered.

"Good luck, you two!" I chirped. At this, James' eyes fell on me. He grinned and did that stupid thing where he ran his hands through his hair.

"This must be lucky..." he said looking thoughtful, his grin widening, "I think it's the first time you've ever wished me luck on anything, Lily," he said, chuckling. I think my heart just fluttered a bit. I just grinned instead.

"Yeah, well don't get used to it," I teased, "This just so happens to be one day you haven't been acting prattish on game day," I retorted, sticking out my tongue. He looked like he was going to argue, but Marlene pulled on his sleeve,looking impatient so the pair of them set off.

"What is with you?" Selene hissed quietly as soon as they were gone.

"What do you mean?" I asked sharply, glancing around discreetly. I didn't need Emmeline lurking around the corner. Although, she probably wouldn't find it very lady like to lurk, so I really can't imagine her lurking around...although she is a busy body if I can say so (which I think I can seeing how she's been inquiring on _my_ personal affairs recently).

"You…talking to James now," she elaborated as I gave her a blank stare, "Listen Lily, you don't…" she paused, looking nervous, "You don't fancy him, do you?" she asked in a very low voice.

Arg.

"No," I said, trying to look horrified. It wasn't that hard. I've done it for so many years after all, "What the heck, Selene! You know I can't stand him!" I snapped.

Selene gave me a very pointed look. Ah, I guess I can't keep using that arguemnt. Drat.

"Well, okay, so we're friends or something, according to him," I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, "Where are you getting these ridiculous ideas from?" I asked with an accusatory glare.

Despite the fact they are true.

"Well," Selene looked careful, "don't be mad, Lily, but Marlene and I were talking…"

"Behind my back? Is this when you also were making bets?" I asked crossly. If I took the defensive then maybe, just _maybe_, this would work. Selene looked at a loss for a moment, so I stood, taking advantage of my temporary upper handed status, "Let's go. We want to get good seats," I said. Selene seemed to take it as time to drop the subject. However, I knew she wasn't going to forget about it. Stupid James Potter.

As I mentioned earlier, today was extra cold. We got seats by Remus and Peter who'd waved us over, and I quickly cast a warming charm around us. Selene was pouting because I wouldn't let her go say hi to Amos.

"You'd be a traitor," I explained, raising my eyebrows at her.

"Says the girl who's afraid of a broomstick," Selene said rolling her eyes. Ah. Right, rub it my face, won't you? "Besides, this is _Slytherin_, not Hufflepuff!"

"So you're going to leave me with half of the Marauders?" I asked skeptically, trying to keep my voice down.

She glanced at Remus who was pretending to not listen in on our conversation, "Yeah," she shrugged, "You're the one who's seemed so fond of them lately. I'll be back in a jiffy, though, promise," she said, giving me one of her happy smiles before excusing herself and wiggling out of the row.

Eh, oh well. Remus is bearable.

"You're fond of us?" Remus asked, his lips twitching.

I take that back.

"No," I snapped, "That's just Selene taking advice from my other cotton-fluff-minded mate."

Remus looked confused, but before he could say anything someone else had interrupted us. "Hello!" she said brightly. I stared as Emmeline Vance beamed at us wearing a red and gold scarf.

"Hey," I muttered, feeling very sour all of a sudden. It didn't help that she'd dragged her best mate, Samantha Owens over. She had to be the only one in the Gryffindor stands not wearing our house colors. She should just stick the Ravenclaws, yeah? I glared at her, but managed to say sweetly, "Samantha, not supporting anyone today?"

She looked at me snootily, "I'm a Ravenclaw." It was obvious she didn't want to be here either. Lovely.

Emmeline laughed, "Don't be silly Sam, you're rooting for Gryffindor! James is on Gryffindor," she added, throwing her a sharp look.

Samantha sighed and shrugged, "Fine, woo hoo. Gryffindor."

I ignored her and turned back to Emmeline, "Why are you over here anyway?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, "Shouldn't you be watching your boyfriend from your sides of the stands?"

Remember when I was going to try and be nice to be Emmeline? Ha. Oh please. That was hopeless from it's very conception!

Emmeline, in return, gave me a haughty look, "Remus is my friend, aren't you Remus?" she added, giving him a sharp look. Remus looked suddenly very uncomfortable, "I mean…uh…" he glanced between us very uneasily, "Well...you're James' girl…"

I would have rather him just said that they were mates.

"Of course we're friends, Remus!" she said, looking annoyed now.

"Yeah," he said, nodding in agreement. His eyes caught mine, and I felt the urge to start laughing. He looked so hopeless and uncomfortable. It sort of gave me a weird feeling of smug satisfaction that I could be their mates and she couldn't.

"And we're friends, right, Peter?" Emmeline had turned to him. Poor Peter, he looked as though she had just attacked him

"Er-we are?" he asked, looking skeptical.

"Yes," she said, frowning, "What is wrong with you boys today?"

"Nothing, they're just trying to focus on the game. Some people actually enjoy the sport," I said pointedly.

"Like you?" Emmeline asked, raising her eyebrows, "If I recall, you used to give James a hard time about Quidditch."

Curse her infallible memory.

"No, I didn't like that he stole things," I said, smirking, "The stupid snitch he always stole…" I added at her confusion, "Anyway, Marlene is on the team. She's my best mate. I can't hate Quidditch. Besides, James and Sirius are on the team. They're my mates too," I added smugly. I don't know why she's all ruffled up by me being friends with the Marauders, but I can tell that she is. It's rather funny. Her lips pursed, once again, reminding me of my horrid sister. Ack.

She didn't get the chance to say anything thankfully because the players had come out and the stands turned into an uproar. From then on, I was able to keep my focus off of Emmeline who was talking to Samantha the entire time. I couldn't help but watch James. Selene popped back and waved at Emmeline.

"Hey, Em," she said happily, "What brings you here?" she asked. Sometimes, I really wish Selene wasn't friends with her. Such as...right now.

"Just hanging with my Gryffindor mates," she replied, smiling brightly back at her.

Selene looked confused and when Emmeline turned away she whispered to me, "She's not talking about you, is she?"

I snorted, "Yeah right, she's buddying up with Remus and Peter."

"Oh," her expression cleared, "Well that makes sense."

Ha. Yeah, like I could ever be mates with Emmeline. Fat chance.

Meanwhile, James was playing brilliant. It was as if Slytherin didn't even pose a threat. He easily maneuvered out of their way and hadn't missed a single shot. He and Marlene were practicing complicated passes and crushing the Slytherins to everyone's delight.

It almost looked as if Slytherin wasn't even trying. I tried to summon a little pity, but I found that none came.

"They're getting crushed," Remus said, grinning from ear to ear. I turned to him, grinning as James faked a shot and passed to Marlene who scored. We all cheered, high fiving. Even Emmeline was cheering a little.

"Thank Merlin," Peter said, shaking his head, "Prongs gets so bent out of shape when they lose." I was listening to Remus' and Peter's conversation, that I hadn't been focusing until Selene's voice made me jump.

"Oh my goodness!" Selene yelped. A few other screams let out and we all watched the Seekers dive for what we could assume was the snitch. Selene did a weird step and jump as she watched them pull out of the dive and the Gryffindor Seeker, Harris Smitt, had his fist high in the air.

"We won!" Selene cried giving me a hug. I even let Emmeline give me a high five at one point as the Gryffindor stands burst into stamping, hollering and hooting.

Then, everyone swarmed together, trying to make it down to the pitch to congratulate everyone. I told Selene I'd congratulate Marlene for her since she didn't want to lose Amos. Truth is, I can hardly believe they're dating. You know, I haven't even eaten breakfast with the bloke. That should probably change.

"Fine! I'll go, just tell Diggory we're having breakfast!" I yelled after her. I think Selene decided to disregard me because she was shaking her head and shooting me a confused look as she left against the crowded mass of people. I have to get to know the bloke, shouldn't I? He his my best mate's boyfriend...the least he could do is eat breakfast with me. For all I know, he's not the same, pretentious prat that didn't know a thing about Herbology. (I certainly hope not if he's dating Selene).

"Lily!" I heard Marlene's familiar voice calling me from somewhere int he crowd. I spotted her and waved, pushing my way through towards the players. Marlene grinned at me, "We creamed them!" she shouted.

"You did brilliant!" I shouted back.

"Thanks," she beamed, "Okay, I have to go. Benjy's heading this way," she said, tilting her head. I turned to look, but I don't know how she managed to spot anyone in this crowd. I just frowned and turned back to her.

"Is that bad?" I asked loudly.

She gave me a look and rolled her eyes, "Yes, I'm avoiding him…I haven't made a decision yet," she said loudly back then glanced over her shoulders toward the rest of the team, "There'll be a party in the common room. I'll meet you and Selene there, okay?" she yelled as she hurried away before I could argue with her. Well…she spent all this time obsessing over Benjy and now that she can have him, she could care less? She's always been a bit nutty.

"Evans!" Sirius had spotted me and dragged me over. He and James had been huddled by a large group.

"Fantastic," I said, "The both of you!" Then gave them both hugs. I wish I could've enjoyed James' hug more, but let's be honest-he was a gross, dirty, and sweaty boy at the moment. They're a little smelly too, but that's okay...either way, it wasn't one of those nice hugs. It was just...just a friend hug.

"Thanks," James beamed, "Did you catch Marlene?" he asked, brightly. He just gets this look on his face after playing Quidditch. I always secretly admired his Quidditch skills. If he hadn't been so arrogant about it, I probably would've complimented him on it ages ago. As it is, he's just grinning like an idiot. I laughed at him then answered his question.

"Yeah, she's running away from Benjy."

"Fenprick?" Sirius asked, smirking.

"Be nice," I said, frowning, "He's a perfectly nice—" I began.

"He's as dull as they come, Evans," Sirius tutted, "I really need to help you with your taste—"

I laughed, "Ha, who would you chose, yourself?"

"Are you saying you wouldn't consider?" he joked.

I snorted, "Seeing how it worked last time…"

"Enough!" James said, rolling his eyes, "I can't believe the two of you became mates," he grumbled.

"Aw, well we're mates too, James," I smirked, "You don't have to feel left out—"

My friendly teasing was interrupted by his girlfriend, of course, who had made her way through by this point, "Jamsie!" she cried, wrapping her arms around him. Then they had one of those celebratory kisses. It was like a car crash—I couldn't look away.

Then, right after, Emmeline looked at me. The look in her eyes were unmistakable. Then she smirked, pulling James by the hand and called 'toodles'.

Sirius snorted, "Merlin, she drives me mad," he said, looking rather disgruntled.

But I had barely registered what he said, I wasn't listening. I felt sick. She had given me a look that had clearly said: _You may be the friend, but I'm the girlfriend. _Sirius said something else, but I didn't hear him. Instead, I muttered an excuse and hurried off. I wasn't really in the mood for a Gryffindor party at the moment. Particularly one where I'd have to watch Emmeline and James together the entire evening. I had to face the facts. I wasn't James Potter's girlfriend, and I would never be. Who was I kidding?

**A/N: Ending a little depressingly, I know...my apologies, but it was a pretty long chapter! :) R/R!  
**


	16. Marlene's Mistaken Or not so Mistaken

**XVI. Marlene's Mistaken (Or not so Mistaken) Hypothetical Situations  
**

Gryffindor common room party equals a Lily Evan no show. I have an inkling that Marlene will be a bit short with me, so I'm just going to wait here in the Hospital Wing while I think up a logical excuse.

"Miss Evans?" Madam Pomfrey had opened the curtain where I'd been hiding out all night, "Now, I understand that you have a…er…headache, but it would probably be best if you went back to Gryffindor tower," she said, frowning at me. I blinked at her and groaned.

"Owww…"

Madam Pomfrey didn't look quite like she believed me, but she sighed, "Let me fix up a little potion for you then, but if you don't mind me sayings o Miss Evans, you're being a tad dramatic," she said primly before disappearing to cure me of my headache.

Me? Dramatic?

I'm just horribly depressed which can, indeed, cause headaches. Besides, I need Honeydukes not a potion which was a unachievable endeavor. Who could I ask, besides a Marauder? No one. It was hopeless.

"Lily?"

To my surprise, Remus had entered the hospital wing. He was looking pale and sickly looking. I immediately coughed, pretending to be sicklier when he spotted me.

"Lily?" he asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"Hey Remus," I managed, my voice a little hoarse. (I think I could've been an actress if I'd continued on in the muggle world).

"You're sick," he noted, "What's wrong?"

"I—"

"She has a headache," Madam Pomfrey said, handing me a potion, "There you go. Now off you go, dear."

"But—"

"Mr. Lupin, just take your usual seat and I'll be with you in a moment."

Ah, right. Here I am faking sick when Remus is the one who's really sickly.

"Just a headache, huh?" he said, looking as if he didn't believe me. I just nodded vigorously, and he sighed, "What's wrong, Lily?"

"Nothing, just a headache" I said, blinking at him, "What else would be wrong?"

"Sirius was wondering where you got to yesterday. Marlene was throwing a little hissy fit. Then I saw you were here on the—" he broke off and cleared his throat and said instead, "I figured this seemed like a Lily Evans hiding spot."

How did he _know_?

"Don't be silly. I really _was_ feeling ill. It was probably the cold."

Remus looked doubtful, but when Madam Pomfrey returned from her office she really did shoo me away. Grudgingly, I made my way back to the Gryffindor tower after pretending to drink her potion (I really just vanished it).

I didn't run into anyone important, so I decided to actually act like a normal human being and shower. I still hadn't really decided what to tell Marlene, so when she came into the room and spotted me, she let out a weird, shrill cry.

"Lillllly!"

"Hey, Mar," I said as I braided my hair. If I acted like I'd been here the entire time, perhaps she would think I hadn't left.

"Where have you been? Selene and I have been searching the castle for you. Remus said he was going to check the hospital wing for us since he had to stop there anyway—"

"Er—yeah, I wasn't feeling well. Horrible migraine," I said, making a face.

"So you missed the entire party?" Marlene asked, rather hotly. Er...yes?

"I'm sorry, but I really was ill...in the Hospital Wing. Ask Pomfrey if you'd like."

Marlene frowned, "What happened? You only 'get sick' when you're avoiding something. Like flying...or like when you were trying to hide from Snape last year…or when Potter used to stalk you, so you tried to pretend you had a contagious disease—"

Huh. I'd forgotten about that. A little ironic now that I'm thinking about it. I suppose this is fate reminding me that I lost my chance when he was obsessed with me for three years.

"I get it," I snapped, "But I can get actually sick. I don't have an impeccable immune system. Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion."

Marlene just laughed, "Yeah, that's because Pomfrey feels bad. She thinks your socially inept I'm sure, by this point. Who hides out in the nurse's office?"

"Plenty of people. Remus for instance."

"No," Marlene rolled her eyes, "That boy is usually actually sick. He, unlike you, has an awful immune system. I told him he needs to check it out at St. Mungo's. You know what he told me? 'Thanks for your consideration'. What sort of sappy response is that?"

"Er—a polite one?"

"You're hopeless," she said, frowning. Then she perked up, "Oh, but you missed it last night."

"What?" I asked tiredly. I did not want to hear if Sirius had gotten drunk and tried to transfigure Peter's arm into a lobster claw again. It wasn't funny the first time, and I doubt I would find the hilarity in it this time.

"James and Vance got into a huge row. Selene left with her and was comforting her all night," she added, rolling her eyes.

"Over what?"

"I dunno...apparently their relationship is on the rocks according to Sirius," Marlene shrugged. Both of us knew that Sirius wasn't always a reliable source, "But hey, you wanted to see her upset, yeah?"

Thanks. Make me feel like the awful person.

"You're the one who thought it would be funny," I reminded defensively, feeling guilty.

"Yes, but I've always been more bitchy than you," Marlene said shrugging, "Which brings me to my real question—what are you going to do about it?"

I stared at her in confusion, "Er—what?" Do about what? Emmeline being miserable? Nothing.

Marlene looked annoyed, "What are you going to do about it? This is your chance, Lily!"

"My chance for what?" I said, still looking at her stupidly.

"Are you daft or something? For your chance with James!" she snapped.

Oh.

I wasn't expecting the conversation to head in this direction.

"My what?"

Marlene gave a large huff, "Are you really going to play dumb, Lily? Fine. I know you fancy him. I'm not stupid. You and Potter are both the most translucent people I know, and I don't know how much longer I can take it."

This, of course, triggered the appropriate response: denial. "You're being completely—"

"Okay, okay," Marlene said, putting her hands up, "Let's just assume you like him…hypothetically speaking."

"But I don't—" I began.

"It doesn't matter," she snapped, "This is all hypothetical." I said nothing, so she continued, "Good. Now, hypothetically speaking, you like him. Firstly, this explains your hatred towards Emmeline considering you don't hate most people…although I kind of hate Emmeline too…but I'm not you," she concluded, waving it away "Alright…so then, perhaps, Sirius Black, who may have suggested the fact that you liked James on an occasion or two—"

"What?" I asked in outrage. This is what I get for ever making friends with that bloke.

"I thought he was a loon," Marlene rolled her eyes. I mean, I thought you two had lost your chance ever being the couple you're meant to be...after James got with Emmeline," she made a face, "They were so grotesquely perfect with each other."

"Thanks," I muttered dryly. Marlene smirked at me.

"Is this a confession, I'm about to hear?"

"No," I snapped, "This is all hypothetical, remember? It's all very, very untrue."

"Of course," Marlene nodded, "Hypothetical."

Sometimes, I hate her.

"So, then let's say Sirius makes a stupid plan to make _you_ realize you love James while at the same time reminding James that he's always been in love with you and not Emmeline—"

"That is the most daft thing I've heard in my life," I interrupted, feeling exasperated. Sirius' stupid plan was coming back to bite my in the rear...again.

I was going to kill him.

Then Marlene.

Oh and hell, maybe Remus while I'm at it. He probably had a hand in this since he and Sirius seem to be conspiring together on this issue.

You know, with Sirius' track record, eventually, one of my threats will not end up being an empty threat. Then I'm going to end up in Azkaban. All because Sirius thinks he has the right to meddle in people's lives.

Shit.

"I can't go to Azkaban!" I said, interrupting part of Marlene's hypothetical explanations of how I'm in love with James. Psh.

"What?" Marlene looked at me strangely.

I ignored her, not bothering to explain. "This is stupid. There's no more hypothetical Lily Evans here." Especially when the hypothetical Lily Evans fancies James Potter.

"You're right, the real Lily Evans fancies James Potter," Marlene accused.

I didn't know what to do or how to respond, so instead I glared and grabbed my bag, "I don't have to sit around and listen to this," I said, brushing past her. at the door, I couldn't help, I glanced back at her. Marlene was crossing her arms, eyebrows raised. She didn't really look mad, surprisingly.

"Yeah," she said, "Don't come back until you can start spitting better lies, Evans."

I said nothing but made sure to slam the door behind me.

Crap.

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After that, I spent all of Sunday afternoon studying. I had come to a conclusion about a few things as I thought about how quickly things had changed this week.

For instance, I had realized that I might have a small, insignificant crush on James Potter. Inconsequential. Really.

However, I also realized that Emmeline will slowly bring me to either Azkaban or my own grave, so I think I'm going to put in some extra studying for our Transfiguration exam this week. Hopefully, that will show McGonagall that I really don't need a tutor, and that I can push Emmeline out of my life entirely.

Hm. Getting rid of James Potter is a little more difficult because for one he's Head Boy. He also lives in the Gryffindor Tower, so there's always the off-chance of running into him in the common room. Or in classes.

Drat.

Hopefully, he'll be too busy mooning over Emmeline to pay me any attention then. Yes. Problem solved, see?

Now I just need to convince Marlene that she's mad as a hatter and needs to straighten a few of her own screws. However, when I went to dinner that evening, I found that she was still being a stubborn prat about it.

The moment she saw me sit down next to Selene (she'd been chatting with Sirius), she coughed, "So, Selene, hypothetically speaking—"

"Shove off, McKinnon," I snapped before she could begin this conversation over again.

She grinned evilly, "What?" she is horrible at acting innocent. She turned her attention back to Selene, "Selene, hypothetically, what if I fancied someone?"

"Benjy?" Selene asked, frowning.

Marlene sighed deeply, "No, this is all hypothetical."

"Well you know, hypothetical situations usually mean real situations," Selene said, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes, well it isn't really me but a _friend_," Marlene pressed. Selene looked confused, but she shrugged and gestured her on. I just turned to my dinner, deciding I'd tune her out. Easier said than done. "So," she was saying, "Let's say his name is…Bob. I fancy…Bob. Of course, I'm in denial, so instead, I put all my efforts into making Bob's girlfriend jealous."

"Nicolette and Benjy broke up though," Selene said, frowning.

"Hypothetical!" Marlene was looking annoyed now. I stuck my tongue out at her, and she continued to ignore me.

"Okay, so I'm jealous, Bob is jealous. When Bob gets in a row with his girlfriend, don't you think I should step up and try to woo Bob?"

"I thought you didn't fancy Benjy?" Selene replied looking more confused than ever, "I thought your date didn't go as swimmingly as you'd hoped?"

Marlene let out a small cry of frustration while I laughed. Instead, she turned to Sirius who had been listening with a curious expression, "Please tell me you followed?"

"Yeah," Sirius grinned, "Well, I guess we could put you and Bob in broom cupboard…what do you think, Evans?"

Selene nearly spit out her pumpkin juice. I rolled my eyes, "You're listening to her too?" I asked in exasperation. Glancing around to make sure no one was in hearing distance, I bent forward and hissed, "I don't fancy him, so drop it McKinnon."

Partly true. I was on my way to not fancying him. I've never believed that you couldn't help who you fancied. I'm in total control which means this whole dilemma will be easily resolved in a few weeks. Hypothetically speaking, I could just go back to hating him.

Right?

**A/N: I know, I know...Lily is being stubborn but still...R/R! :) After the next few chapter there should be more J/L interactions :D  
**


	17. Mistake 14: Backtracking

**XVII. Mistake 14-Backtracking  
**

Today was an interesting day to begin and end with. It was Thursday. Not any Thursday, but it was the Thursday of a rather important Transfiguration exam. I had gone to tutoring (unfortunately) on Tuesday which was now very uncomfortable since our mutual loathing for each other was no longer hastily disguised.

Psh. It's okay, I really don't need Emmeline anymore anyhow. Sirius and Peter were helping me study last night (mostly Sirius). They offered to get James, but I refused. You see, part of my plan on getting over him is avoiding him at all costs. I even skipped rounds last night because I told him I really needed to study.

That was partly true. Anyway, he had to patrol with Amos Diggory instead. Ha. He really doesn't like him, and to be honest, I'm not his biggest fan either. Selene still continues to spout off about him having some really good qualities. Then again, Selene is friends with Emmeline, so you know what I think of her judgment of character.

Actually, Amos ate breakfast with us Monday morning after Marlene bullied Selene into it. Nothing exciting happened, but Marlene kept whispering to me that she was going to 'accidentally' spill marmalade down his sweater. I convinced her not to, thankfully. Sometimes I can't tell when she's being serious and when she's joking. Either way, Selene would have been upset, so I'd rather avoid that entire argument as a whole.

Anyway, I digress. This Transfiguration exam, right? I was nervous as hell and tried not to think about it, but I think Selene could tell because I was twitchy at breakfast.

"Don't be nervous, you've studied loads," Selene assured me, smiling gently, "Brighten up."

Ha. Easy for her to say. She never needed a tutor...nor is she in Transfiguration.

Marlene just rolled her eyes, "Here, drink some juice and eat a muffin." I took it from her wordlessly and just stared at it, "You should eat it. It's not helpful if it isn't in your stomach. You know what they say—"

"Never sit on a Hungarian Horntail?" Sirius suggested, slipping into a seat next to me, "You look fabulous, love. Looking nice for Bob?"

"Who's Bob?" James asked frowning, joining us and taking a seat across from me, next to Marlene, "Evans doesn't have a boyfriend?" he asked sharply, looking around the table. He coughed, "I mean, er, right, Lily?" he asked in a less harsh tone, trying to catch my eye. Why did he care anyway?

I forced myself to tear my gaze away from Sirius and managed a weak smile, "No worries. Sirius is just being daft as usual." Great. I hate Sirius and Marlene so much at this moment. James is really the last thing I need to worry about when I'm about to fail my Transfiguration exam.

"Figures," Peter grumbled, taking the last open seat at our end of the table. I glanced around.

"Where's Remus?"

"Ill," Sirius replied without hesitation as he began piling breakfast onto his plate.

"How was studying?" James asked me.

"Fine," I said, still frowning, wondering how Remus could be ill, today of all days! "Does he realize that he's going to miss the Transfiguration exam?" I mean, he already missed so much school. He couldn't really afford to be missing an exam!

"We told Minnie," Sirius said, frowning at me, "And you better be ready for that exam after we helped you study last night."

"You helped her?" James asked, raising his eyebrows at Peter and Sirius. He looked amused, "Padfoot actually helped someone with their homework?"

"Oy, I've helped Peter before!" he said, looking a little sour at his friend's disbelief.

Peter nodded, "Yeah, but James is definitely the better tutor…no offense Sirius."

Sirius snorted, "Just because it took you ages to transform—" he broke off.

Both James and Peter were looking at Sirius in something similar to badly masked horror. What had been Peter trying to transfigure? Probably some prank they didn't want me to know about. That was the least of my worries. After all, this Transfiguration exam could determine my life. So...no big deal. If I failed, McGonagall was going to kick me out of her class for sure. Then I wouldn't get all the NEWTS I need. Although, I really have no idea what I'm doing with my life anyway. Perhaps I won't even need Transfiguration. Instead of dwelling on this, I turn to the three troublemakers, trying to sound stern.

"You three really need to quit doing things that'll get you in trouble. James, you're going to get your Head Boy badge taken away," I added stiffly. James just laughed.

"Oh Evans," he said, grinning at me, "Come on, you need to eat up. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

I frowned at him, and Marlene gave me a smug look before everyone went back to eating. I tried to eat. I really did, but I was feeling the anxiety for my upcoming exam coming again. Maybe I was going to be ill...then I could join Remus in the Hospital Wing. I'm sure McGonagall would excuse me as well. Of course, when I whispered this to Marlene, she ignored me by rolling her eyes.

Eventually, Marlene shuffled me away and we headed to the dreadful class that is Transfiguration. Emmeline, thankfully, sat nowhere near us, so I didn't have to see her awful smirking face. She probably knew I was going to fail.

Why even bother?

As the rest of the class came in, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be stuck with Emmeline for the rest of the year. I needed to get at least an E to try and convince McGonagall that I didn't need a tutor. Maybe I could ask McGonagall if Sirius can tutor me instead. She'd probably think I'm some sort of head case for wanting _him_ as my tutor. Anyone sounds better…well…except maybe James. That could be something close to torturous.

Speaking of torturous…

"Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said curtly, handing me my exam as she bean passing them out. I swallowed and picked up my quill. Well, here goes nothing.

However, twenty minutes later, I found that I was doing reasonably well. Perhaps Sirius had been helpful after all!

Or perhaps after all this tutoring I was finally retaining information. Feeling rather pleased, I turned in my exam right after Emmeline who looked surprised.

I think she thought I was a hopeless case. I can be taught…even by the likes of her. Ha. Although, I really probably wouldn't terribly mind her if she wasn't currently dating James. Well, I suppose I can't have everything in life.

I'd rather pass Transfiguration than date James Potter.

I think.

Although if I was dating him, he could tutor me and then I wouldn't have to fail Transfiguration. Unable to quell my curiosity, I turned around to see catch a glimpse of the git.

He was doodling on a spare piece of parchment. I think he could feel my eyes on him, strangely enough, because he glanced up, frowning slightly. When he spotted me, he grinned and gave me a thumbs up. I grinned back and nodded to show that the exam had gone well. He actually looked pleased and gave me a sincere smile. My stomach tingled. You know those butterflies people talk about? I think I must have about a thousand of them fluttering about in there. Annoying, really.

I turned back towards the front, trying to not think about how my cheeks might be turning red. This really was going have to stop, I thought miserably. How was a girl supposed to function like this?

Either way, I was glad when the bell rang. I had to go collect my thoughts. I told Marlene something about going to the library to return a book, but in reality, I took a nice, leisurely walk around the castle. Mainly, I was thinking about what I should do about James.

I know, I know. I was going to be good and give up on him entirely, but every time I see him, I begin to change my mind. Of course, now that I've got my wits together, I'm starting to doubt the whole fancying thing again.

How can I fancy someone I used to loathe?

He's changed, I tell myself.

Hmphf. Right.

Meanwhile, while I continued this onward debate in my brain I ran into none other than James Potter himself. I made a weird sound as soon as I spotted him rounding the corner. Obviously, I turned the other way and began walking—rapidly.

"Evans?" he called. I cringed. Perhaps if I just kept walking he'd mistake me for another seventh year redhead. Er—hopefully? "Lily, hold up!"

I made myself stop, "Oh, hello there," I said as if I hadn't noticed him before, "I'm in a bit of a rush…must be going."

James looked bewildered as I scampered off. However, I think it's rude of him to try and talk to me when I'm obviously trying to sort out my feelings for him. It's just inconsiderate. It also makes thinking straight a little harder.

Ah, hell. I give up. I'm just going to go find Marlene.

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The two days I've managed to avoid James Potter rather successfully if you ask me. I don't know why he keeps trying to talk to me. I mean, he and Emmeline aren't arguing over whatever their squabble was about after the game last weekend. They're like two peas in a pod again. Urgh. Gag me.

On another and equally unhappy note, Petunia is getting married. She sent me a rather rude letter this morning.

She's my older sister, and if I'm completely honest, I never thought this day would come. Pet? Married? It's mind-boggling. If you met her, you would understand.

I was still thinking about it at rounds that evening because James noticed. Oh, yes, I couldn't get Remus to cover me (believe me, I tried). Rude.

"What's wrong?" James asked after we'd walked in silence for a few minutes.

I blinked, "Wrong? Nothing."

"Oh," he paused, stopping and I slowed as well, "You're quiet," he pointed out.

"Oh…" I'd just been thinking about how now I would be related to Vernon Dursley. Urgh. I'd met him once…it hadn't been an overall pleasant experience. I think I might've grimaced though because James laughed.

"Seriously," he asked, "What's up?" he said, nudging me, his lips curving upward. I didn't say anything for a moment, and he sighed, "Are you mad at me, Lily?"

I turned to him in surprise, "N-no…of course not. Why?"

"Oh," he shrugged, "You've sort of been avoiding me."

"Have I?" I asked, trying to feign ignorance. I was sort of hoping it hadn't been that obvious, "I've just been busy…"

"Remus told me you were trying to switch rounds with him," he accused.

I blinked, "Er—well…I just…I don't think Emmeline likes us being friends," I said which I'm sure was true due to all the dirty looks she's continued to give me.

He stared at me for a long moment and then laughed, "You're ignoring me because of Emmeline? She's just being…" he trailed off, "We're mates," he said firmly, "She's not allowed to tell me who I can and can't be friends with."

I said nothing but continued our patrols in silence. Finally I couldn't help but ask, "What have you two been rowing about?"

He glanced at me, "So I'm supposed to tell you about my problems but you can't tell me yours?" he asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Er—"

"She's jealous…she gets angry when I talk to you or Marlene. She's jealous when I hang out with the guys. I told her I needed breathing room, and she assumed I meant we were breaking up—I mean," he sighed, "She was different than any girl I've dated. She's actually smart and well…nice, but recently…" he sighed again falling into silence for a moment. He glanced at me, but I think my face managed to remain semi blank. I just nodded, trying to look thoughtful as if contemplating some...er...helpful advice. After all, what was I supposed to say? _Oh, just drop her? She's not worth it?_ I think I'm a little biased. "I didn't mean to complain to you about my girlfriend," he said suddenly, looking preoccupied. He glanced at me to gouge my reaction.

Urgh. His girlfriend. Don't remind me…although…why _is_ he talking to me about Emmeline? Besides the fact that I asked him about it…he could have just said 'none of your business, Evans' and I wouldn't have been angry. Well, perhaps only a little.

"It's alright…I don't mind," I said, giving him a sincere smile. He smiled back—not his annoying cocky grin but just a nice, pleasant smile. I think I just melted a little. Merlin's pants.

"So…what's been on your mind," he asked me again as we turned took the stairs to the third floor. I just shrugged, but he was looking at me with those large hazel eyes, and I found myself talking anyway—unwillingly of course.

"My older sister, Petunia, is getting married," I said with a shrug.

"Oh," he frowned, "Is that a bad thing?"

"Er—I haven't decided. I got a letter from her—" I broke off. She'd sent me a letter asking me not to come home over winter break because she had wedding planning to do, and she didn't want me hanging around if she could help it, "Never mind, it's stupid," I muttered, not looking at him anymore.

James didn't seem to believe me, but he let it slide, "Are you and your sister close?"

Me and Petunia? I snorted, "As if."

"Ah," James looked thoughtful now, "Why not?"

I frowned slightly, trying to decide if I should tell him. I mean, it wasn't a huge deal, but I didn't really talk to anyone here about my sister. I'd complained to my mates about her, but I felt odd not having even told them about Petunia's letter yet, "She doesn't like me because I'm a witch." James looked confused, so I added, "She thinks I'm a freak. Anyway, she told me she didn't want me home for Christmas. She thinks I'm going to scare away her fiancé with my…ahem…freakishness."

"Are you joking?" he asked.

"Unfortunately no," I said, laughing. It wasn't very funny though.

"She's mad," he said shaking his head. I just shrugged again, not really in the mood to talk about Petunia any longer. He persisted though, "So what are you going to do?"

"About what?" I asked absently.

"Over break?"

"Oh…well, I didn't really fancy staying here all break…I'll probably go home anyway. My mum would be upset otherwise. Petunia will just be furious with me, but it's nothing new," I said, giving him a small smile. He wasn't smiling back. He was frowning.

"I can't believe your own sister—"

"It's not that big of a deal," I interrupted, "I don't feel like talking about Petunia anyway." That much was true. Thinking about our un-sisterly like relationship depressed me. I'd rather not be depressed around the love of my life (I'm exaggerating of course—I am NOT in love despite what Marlene or anyone else might say).

He nodded. Then, being the dashing, wonderful boy he is he changed the subject to much more interesting things (not Quidditch). He really knows how to lifts someone's spirits because he kept telling me stories about some of the dumb things Sirius had gotten them into making my sides split from hysterics. By the ends of rounds, I found myself loosing control and backtracking on the whole not fancying thing. Eh...I should have seen this coming, shouldn't I?

I was never going to be able to just 'give up' on James. Especially when he smiles at me like that. It isn't fair.

We were heading back to the Gryffindor Tower, and I smiled at him, "Er—thanks, James."

He looked surprised, "For what?"

I just smiled and turned to the portrait hole to say the password. I did turn to him before climbing in though and said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lily," I heard him say behind me as the portrait hole closed after me.

He didn't follow in behind me.

I'm sure he's going to go see Emmeline.

I think my heart is going to break, and I wish I had never, ever fancied James Potter. I wish he wasn't so wonderful. I wish he wasn't dating the most perfect girl in school, and I wish that he was still in love with me.

It's all occurring to me right now that I'm too late. I can't give him up, yet I don't think I can have him either. I sit next to Marlene in the common room. She is chatting with Sirius and being all flirty. Surprise, surprise.

Remus sat next to me and asked if I was alright. I just said that I was tired and muttered that I should probably get to bed early, so unwillingly, I headed to the girl's dormitory.

Honeyduke's chocolates anyone?

**A/N: Ehhhh...read and review?  
**


	18. Blame the Allergies!

**XVIII. Blame the Allergies  
**

I think I've caught a cold. On top of that, we find out our Transfiguration scores tomorrow. My anxiety has reached skyrocket levels—

"Lily, you look a little pale…eat something," Selene ordered at lunch. We had Herbology soon, and I was contemplating going to Madam Pomfrey before hand for a Pick-me-up potion.

Marlene shot Selene a look, and Selene nodded, "Lily," Selene began slowly, "We need to have a talk," she glanced around, "_Muffalito_," she whispered, using the spell Snape and I had created one summer. I had a feeling my day was about to get worse.

"I don't feel like—"

"Oh quit it," Marlene snapped, "Listen, we're sick of watching you wallow around just because James is taken—you haven't even had the courage to tell us about it! Your best mates—"

"I'm sick—" I attempted feebly.

"We are not leaving this table," Selene interrupted, "Until you fess up and let us know what is going on."

Maybe it was because I was sick. Or perhaps I was getting tired of holding everything inside. I opened my mouth but instead of denying it all like I planned, I said, "You're right."

Ah..oops.

"What?" Marlene was obviously surprised that I'd given in so easily. Selene, however, noticed how tired i looked and elbowed Marlene, giving her a sharp look.

"Shh…okay, well, that's not horrible, Lily—" she attempted to sound comforting.

"Not horrible!" I yelled. The two of them looked around anxiously, "This is James Potter! Of course it's horrible!"

"I thought you liked him," Selene said in confusion.

"It's not a choice," I muttered, "Trust me, I've already tried to quit fancying him. I've been avoiding him like the Plague."

"The Plague—?" Marlene began but she was once again cut off by Selene.

"Why? I mean, at least you're friends and it's probably just making everything more difficult by trying to avoid him—"

"He's dating Emmeline, remember?" I snapped.

"You know, your pathetic attempt to try and break them up makes a lot more sense now," Marlene said, her lips twitching. Selene and I both glared at her for bringing that up.

"I didn't like him then," I snapped.

"Denial," Marlene coughed.

"I'm not in the mood for this," I said, rising, now wishing I had just lied to them instead.

"Quit being so irritating," Marlene said, pulling me down, "You obviously need to talk about this, so quit being such a little priss—"

"Marlene," Selene said in frustration. I yanked my arm away and glared t her, "Listen Lily, what Marlene is trying to say is that we're just worried. You've been acting a little off recently, and we just want to make sure you're okay. You can tell us that you fancy James…it's okay. We won't freak," she glanced at Marlene then sighed "Well, I won't freak."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Marlene snapped.

Okay, so people say that I'm acting oddly? What about Marlene? All she's been doing is snapping at people twenty-four seven. Now that's more concerning than whatever I've been acting like (which is completely normal by the way—the two of them are the mental ones).

Selene seems to be thinking along the same lines as me because she gave a frustrated sigh and turned to Marlene, "What is wrong with you?"

"Me?" she sneered, "Oh, well you think it's perfectly okay for Lily to go around acting like an idiot. Face it, if you weren't Emmeline's friend you'd actually be on my side and want her to actually do something about her stupid crush—"

Er—stupid?

"Don't even start," she began, her eyes narrowing, "I know that you don't like me being mates with Emmeline, but that's not your choice—"

"Yeah? What about when Lily was friends with Snape? Remember who was right then?"

Ouch.

I stood up, not bothering to listen to the rest of their argument. I heard Marlene call her a few nasty names, and Selene tore past me. I turned around and looked at Marlene.

"Smooth," I said before vanishing. I was going to disappear into Hospital Wing. Thank Merlin for being ill.

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"I'm sorry what I said about Snape," Marlene said managing to find me in the library later that evening. I ignored her, continuing to scribble notes about our Potions assignment, "It was out of line," she added. I glanced at her.

Marlene was apologizing. A step up, that's for sure. However, I wasn't in the mood to analyze Marlene's character improvement for the day.

"Did you apologize to Selene yet?" I asked, rather dully. I hadn't been able to find her all afternoon, so I'd assumed that she'd been with Amos. Marlene sighed.

"No," she admitted.

"Then what are you doing here?" I said, raising my eyebrows, "You were being a bitch," I added bluntly. (Hey, there was no other way to deal with Marlene besides I was still peeved with her to be honest).

"Fine," she said furiously and stomped off. I rolled my eyes. She was going to have to calm down eventually, and I wasn't about to abandon my Potions assignment to have her snap at me because she's got her knickers in a twist. Honestly!

"Hey."

I didn't look up. Then Sirius leaned over the table making sure he was in my line of sight and winked, "'ello, lovely."

"Go away," I snapped, "I'm busy."

He sighed, "What is with you chicks, today?"

I scowled at being called a 'chick'. He noticed and sighed again.

"Right, I probably don't want to know," he looked at me and frowned, "You haven't seen McKinnon around, have you?"

"Yes, she just left a bit ago," I said nodding towards the doors, "You can try and catch her if you'd like—"

He dashed off before I could finish. I was going to warn him that she was in a horribly cranky mood and that he ought to let her be, but he did stop at the doors and yell, "Thanks, Evans!"

I could feel the librarian's eyes glaring holes in the back of my head, so I bent my nose closer to my parchment. I sort of just stared at if for awhile, no really feeling like doing work. My mind just had so many jumbled thoughts. My mates, James, and now I was avoiding the glare of the librarian.

"You're going to get ink on your nose if you keep that up."

I jumped and nearly cursed, but I stopped when my eyes met his. I swallowed, "Hey James."

"Hey," he grinned, pulling out his stuff and taking a seat next to me, "What are you working on?" he didn't wait for answer but instead asked, "Mind if we work on Potions? You're genius at it and everything…" he titled his head, "I guess I could use a hand…if you're not busy," he added, smirking.

"Well," I said doubtfully but I was smiling. He just grinned back and leaned over to glance at my essay.

"Damn. Looks like I have to catch up. What do you say you be my tutor for tonight?" he joked.

Sometimes I think that he has no idea what he's doing to me. It's a slow, painful and yet alluring all at the same time.

"Er—Lily?"

"Yes," I squeaked coming out of my thoughts, "I mean…quit interrupting my concentration, James," I snapped irritably (but I wasn't…not really).

"Sorry," he grinned sheepishly. I just rolled my eyes and allowed him to continue sitting next to me, so I could help him with his essay. We were there until the library closed, doing homework and chatting—even laughing. Just like always. It wasn't until I glanced at my watch when I realized the time.

"We better go."

"Alright," he said gathering up his stuff, "Oh, so did you decide?" he asked as we left.

"Decide what?"

"What you were doing over break?" he said as if it were obvious.

"Oh…no. I'll probably go home though. I'm supposed to write my mum a letter."

"Ah…well, let me know, yeah?" I think I looked confused because he grinned, "Remember? Sirius' party? He asked that you come."

"Oh, right," I felt my cheeks redden a bit, "New Years."

"Yeah," he grinned, "I knew you wouldn't miss it…since you two have a…er…_connection_."

I enjoyed the fact that he still looked disgusted, and I laughed, "Yes, well, that's old history now," I said.

I meant it as a joke, but James looked serious, "Lily," he said, "I know Sirius said it was all just…a prank," he said his brow creasing, "But I can't help but think it was to spare my feelings. Did you two…" he swallowed, "Were you actually…uh…did you like him?" he asked, looking awkward and uncomfortable.

I laughed, but this seemed to irritate him further, "James, you're being silly. You really think I would fancy Sirius?"

He just frowned, muttering nearly incoherently, "Well all your mates do."

What was that supposed to mean? I mean, I guess Selene's crush wasn't exactly subtle. Then, a question that had been on the tip of my tongue, spilled out before I could stop it, "Why do you care?"

He looked taken aback. I'm not sure why. It's a perfectly legitimate question, "What?"

"Why do you care?" I repeated, "If I had liked Sirius…you're over me, aren't you?" I asked. Shit. Had I just said that out loud? This was bad. This was really bad. This is not how I intended for this conversation to go.

"Over you?" he sighed, a crease appearing in his forehead. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully, "Lily, I have a girlfriend," he said, stepping closer to me and holding my shoulders, "I have to be over you, don't I?"

I don't know what that means. Just because he has to, doesn't mean he is…right? Right?

"Besides," he said, letting go of me but not stepping away, "We're mates," he added, giving me a small half smile, so that he had one little dimple in the corner. I deflated a little inwardly at those words.

"Yeah," I echoed, "Mates."

We stood there for a long moment, just looking at each other, as if trying to guess the other's thoughts. I was trying desperately, "That still doesn't explain why you care?" I said in a voice near a whisper.

"Why I care?" he questioned, "How can I not? Besides…I know how Sirius is, and you…you deserve someone special, Lily. Sirius is like my brother…but he doesn't do relationships…at least, not well," he added, looking a little guilty.

I wanted to accuse him of jealousy. I wanted to accuse him of still liking me.

I couldn't. Instead, I stayed silent, entranced by his eyes. He didn't move either. I suppose some might have thought this was awkward, but we were both trying to look past the other's facade.

"We should go," he said suddenly, breaking whatever it had been that we'd had.

"Right…common room," I muttered, tearing my eyes away from his.

We were silent all the way back to the Gryffindor Tower. I didn't say anything to him as we entered. Instead, I scurried up to the girl's dormitory like the coward I am.

Crap.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Marlene and Selene were still fighting apparently, I soon realized the next morning.

I wasn't even entirely aware what their argument was about since I hadn't been paying too much attention, absorbed in my own problems. I know, what a great friend I am, right?

I figured Selene was the safest person to ask, so at lunch the next day, I prodded her with my fork.

"What?" she asked, looking snappish (for Selene).

"I was just going to ask what's wrong with you and Marlene?" I asked, raising my arms up defensively, "Did she try talking to you?"

"Yes," she frowned, "We talked."

Ah. Great.

"She pretty much told me that Amos was a prat and that I need to learn how to pick proper boyfriends. So then—I was pretty peeved at this point—I said that she's the one who's acting like a right slag—"

"What?"

"Well," she gave half a shrug, "You know how she's been acting recently."

Er—no?

"You know," she added, giving me a surprised look when I just continued to stare blankly at her, "Her and Sirius."

"What about her and Sirius?" I asked, frowning. Selene just rolled her eyes, turning slightly pink

"Well, I just noticed… she's been flirting with him at the very least," she shot me a look. Well, that's how Marlene always was. At least, when she wasn't yelling at him. Selene sighed and continued, "So then I sort of accused her of…ahem…sleeping him which and that she's the one turning down good, nice blokes like Benjy—"

"Is it true?" I blurted before I could stop myself. Marlene and Sirius? It was blowing my mind.

Selene just shot me an irritated look, "No. Marlene doesn't keep secrets very well. Don't you think we'd know?" I didn't look convinced because she sighed and said, "She isn't you, Lily. She actually tells us things."

What is that supposed to mean?

"Speaking of which," she continued, ignoring my disapproving look, "What are you going to do about James?" she asked in a low voice, making sure no one was listening.

I frowned, "Absolutely nothing." Duh.

Selene looked exasperated, "You're just being stubborn now—"

"I'm not being stubborn," I said, frowning, "He's dating someone, and if you've forgotten—she's a mate of yours."

This made Selene frown deeply but she didn't argue. After a long look she seemed resigned to the fact, "You're such a little liar, Lily Evans," she said before getting up, "I'm going to go sit with Amos," she added stiffly.

Fine. I can eat lunch by myself.

Or that's what I thought except, to my surprise, Remus and Peter took seats beside me.

"Hey Evans," Peter said, grabbing four rolls and placing them on the plate.

"Lily," Remus nodded politely as the two of them began to load their plates. I didn't say anything but watched them, not feeling very hungry anymore.

"You're going to eat all of that?" I asked finally watching them in mild disgust.

Peter was biting into his sandwich, looking at me in surprise. He swallowed, "Er—yeah?"

"You've seen us eat before," Remus said archly.

"Yeah…well…I never realized how _much _you ate."

"We're boys," Peter said blankly as if that explained everything. Remus nodded in agreement. Still! They had enough to feed a family for a week piled onto their plate.

"Oh, James was looking for you earlier, I think," Peter added before stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.

"Where is he?" I asked quickly. Remus raised his eyebrows, smirking slightly.

"He and Emmeline were in a bit of a row—I think they're trying to…ahem…work it out."

"Of course," I said, nodding vigorously.

Remus and Peter exchanged looks, "I can go get him for you," Peter offered, "We don't like Emmeline that much anyway—" he began before Remus elbowed him, "I mean…er…" he stuffed his second sandwich in his mouth.

Ew.

But I appreciate Peter liking me more than Emmeline. It makes up for his awful eating habits.

"What Peter means is…er…" Remus scratched his head, "Ah, bollocks. It doesn't matter. Just don't tell, James, yeah? Sirius has already given him hell about her."

I can always count on Sirius.

"Speaking of Sirius," I began slowly, "Er—do you happen to know if he's…er..seeing someone?"

At this, Peter's pumpkin juice squirted out of his nose, and Remus patted (well it was really more of a very hard slap) him on the back before turning to me, "What?"

"I was just wondering," I said frowning at Peter, "Are you alright?"

"I thought you liked Prongs!" Peter said, once he seemed to have recovered.

I felt my face flush, "I don't know what you're talking about—"

"Oh quit it, Lily," Remus said, brushing my comment aside, "But why are you asking about Sirius?" he demanded.

Oh. _Oh_. Did he seriously think—oh. People at Hogwarts can be so daft sometimes. I thought I had already made it clear that I don't like Sirius that way. Not now-not ever! "No," I said quickly, "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?" Peter asked, not looking convinced.

"Well…I had suspicions about…er…something, so I wanted to know if Sirius was…er…dating that particular person…secretly."

"Who are you talking about then?" Remus asked.

"No one you know." He looked so doubtful that I nearly felt offended, "Haven't we had this conversation before?" I asked, "I have never liked Sirius—I'm done," I added wrinkling my nose as Peter reached for another sandwich, "Enjoy your lunch," I muttered before slinking off. Remus just watched me, silently with that brooding look of his.

I can't believe all of them know that I like James now. What a mess.

I wonder if Sirius told them.

I wonder if Sirius told James!

If he did, I swear to Merlin he'll look like a lump of ooze by the time I'm done with him.

I stopped in the bathroom on the next floor (I always avoid Myrtle's bathroom). I was going through all the homework I had to do that afternoon in my head. I had planned to go to the library, but before I exited my own stall, the door had opened and slammed. It nearly made me jump.

I paused when I realized the girl was crying. I was about to open the stall door to see if she was alright—I'm Head Girl after all, when the door opened almost immediately, and I heard a familiar voice.

"Em, are you alright?" It was Samantha which mean the crying girl was… "Emmeline," I heard her say.

"I hate her!" I heard Emmeline wail.

Well. This was awkward. I debated if I should come out now or just wait until she left. While I was debating, Samantha sighed and said, "Evans?"

Wait—me?

"She's bewitched him or something!" she said despairingly. I made sure to stay still as my ears pricked at her voice.

What on earth was she talking about? And Selene thinks I'm mad at times? Emmeline is the one off her rocker—who am I supposed to be bewitching anyway?

"What happened?" Samantha asked soothingly.

"Oh, well, he was supposed to meet me last night, of course, but then he was late because he said he had to walk Lily Evans back to the common room."

"It's just James being virtuous and all that," Samantha said, "He's so romantic…" she added with a sigh. Emmeline didn't seem to notice though.

"Why was he with her though?" Emmeline demanded, "So I asked him this morning—he asked me what was bothering me—what does he think? He's obviously still in love with her! She's such a stupid slag—and she shouldn't even be Head Girl! She barely even passed Transfiguration!"

"I know, I know, sweetie, you'd make such a better Head Girl."

"I'm so much smarter than her," she began wailing again.

Huh. This is doing wonders for my self-esteem. I shifted in the stall uncomfortably. I sort of wish I had just come out earlier, and then we could have pretended this had never happened. I wonder what she would say if I walked out of the stall right now.

"Even Sirius likes her! Remus doesn't even like me that much, it seems!" she said, sniffling, "I don't know why. I'm perfectly nice to them. Sirius, on the other hand, is just absolutely horrid. I don't know how James can be friends with him—" she broke off, "Oh I just hate her so much! We wouldn't be having any problems if she would just go and find herself a boyfriend and disappear."

Samantha snorted, "It's not like anyone would fancy her," she said. All right, that was becoming quite enough! People would date me, I'm sure. Just because I didn't have a boyfriend at this very moment—er…oh what the hell. I don't care what Samantha thinks anyway. I really don't know how much I can sit here and listen to the 'Bash-Lily-Evans-Party-in-the-Second-Floor-Bathroom'. It really isn't very much fun.

While Emmeline continued to complain about what a boyfriend-stealing slag I was, I began to feel my nose tickling. You know the feeling. When you feel like you're desperately about to sneeze, your nose sort of tingles—I think there might be too much dust in this bathroom. Or maybe I actually have allergies. It might even be that cold I thought I was catching. I don't really know. All I do know is that my nose is tickling something horrible.

"..I just don't know what to do," Emmeline was crying again.

Oh bollocks.

"ACHOO!"

**A/N: First of all, I would like to thank everyone who's been reviewing. I really appreciate them, so thank you! Also, I will try to keep up with posting the chapters, but as the next few months go on, it might be a little difficult to post them regularly (and to find time to write). However, I will try my very best to give you a chapter once a week, hopefully! Thank you! R/R :)  
**


	19. Mistake 15: My Broken Moral Compass

**XIX. Mistake 15-My Broken Moral Compass  
**

"ACHOO!"

I just have the worst luck ever.

"Hello?" Samantha asked cautiously as Emmeline quieted her. My brain was trying to think of what to do. I could hex them and run out. Perhaps they wouldn't see me…

What am I thinking? I can't just go around hexing people!

Oh Merlin. I'm turning into someone like...like...Sirius. This really _is_ a problem.

I didn't think fast enough though, apparently, because Samantha had wrenched the door open in a matter of seconds, revealing me standing there rather awkwardly.

"Er—hullo," I said after a moment of surprise as we all stared at each other, "Please," I added, "Continue. Your conversation was invigorating," I added sarcastically. For a moment, I think they were both still stunned into silence. Finally, Emmeline managed to get out a sentence.

"How long have you been here?" Emmeline asked. I couldn't tell if she was ashamed or angry. At least she wasn't crying..ah, never mind. Now, she was giving me the most horrible glare. As if it was my fault that she decided to take up in the loo and beginning crying about her boyfriend troubles!

"Just long enough to hear you accuse me of some unfound things. Get it through your skull Vance. I don't like Potter that way. Nor does he like me. You're the one dating him, aren't you?" I asked, pushing by her. I didn't hang around to hear any more verbal abuse. I'd already gotten enough of it behind my back, and I wasn't in the mood to take more to my face.

It makes you feel really shitty, let me tell you.

I also made sure to slam the bathroom door extra loudly as I left—immature, perhaps, but very satisfying nonetheless.

"Lily!"

I picked up my pace as Emmeline came down the corridor after me just a few moments later.

"Wait!" she called, "Just hold up—listen, I'm sorry—"

I stopped, feeling the anger that I had been trying to keep underwraps previously, bubble up, "Sorry?" I snapped, "You shouldn't be sorry, Emmeline. You were being honest. For once in your life you were being bloody honest—"

"Oh," she said, her cheeks now had red patches forming, "You think _you're _perfect?" she demanded, "I don't know what you're playing at, but you better leave James alone," she said threateningly.

I don't know what had come over me, but I wasn't feeling very friendly (alright, so I'm really never friendly with her anyway). So I laughed at her, "You think I'm frightened of you, Vance?" I sneered, "You're a joke. So why don't you go find Potter and apologize like the good little girl you are and tell him all your nasty lies about me. See if I care," I snapped then stormed off for the second time in the past few minutes—this time more successfully.

Bugger. How do I get myself in these situations?

She did deserve that bit, though.

I didn't know what to do after that dramatic spat, but on the way to the common room I ran into Mary who informed me that Marlene was at the Quidditch pitch. Poor Mary, I think she was rather frightened of me when I nearly plowed her over in the corridor. I wasn't mean to her, but I think I was still emitting all my anger and frustration towards Emmeline. I thanked her (a bit brusquely—I'll probably need to apologize later) and hurried down there to thoroughly bitch to Marlene about Emmeline, but when I arrived she was flying circles high above the pitch. Of course, the one time I actually need Marlene she's flying around on that stupid broomstick. I trudged up to the stands, hoping eventually she'd look that way. Thankfully, she did.

"Lily?" she called, flying down towards me, "What are you doing over here—?"

"Urgh! I hate her!" I snapped as she drew near enough to hear me.

Marlene looked confused and landed her broom swiftly, frowning, "You hate who?"

"Emmeline! Who else?"

"Calm down," she said raising her eyebrows, "Any particular reason why? Or is this just general loathing?"

"Well, she's accusing me of stealing her boyfriend!" I began. I gave her a hurried explanation of my experience in the loo. Instead of being angry, she laughed.

"You sneezed?" she asked, giggling.

"Marlene!" I whined, "It isn't funny."

"Are you joking?" she asked, still chuckling, "It's bloody hilarious!"

I was not amused. I sat down, crossing my arms and giving her my fiercest glare, "You're supposed to bash her with me."

"Haven't we done that enough?" Marlene asked, "Listen, if you like this bloke so much, you have to _do_ something!" she said, shaking her head, "All this wishy washy hoping and wishing sort of thing is going to do nothing for you. Emmeline needs to be rid of? Well, we'll make a plan. I'll ask Sirius—he owes you anyway after that last debacle—"

Ha. Never again.

"No," I said sharply, "I'm going to go about this the right way."

Marlene just rolled her eyes, "What's the right way, then? Pining over him? Watching you mope and snap about Emmeline and how wonderful she is and how you're not? Let me assure you, Lily Evans," she said, looking suddenly stern, "You're ten times the witch Emmeline Vance will ever be. Hell, just because she can transfigure a frog better than you—"

Was now really the time to bring up my lacking Transfiguration skills?

I think not.

"—you have much more character…and you actually have a sense of humor! Honestly, I don't know how James can stand her," Marlene shrugged, "She's such a nag, and she's boring," she said laughing.

I really don't appreciate the fact that she keeps making this into a joke. I never made her short fling with Benjy into a joke. When I said this, Marlene just gave me a funny look.

"Well, that's too bad on your part because let's be honest. He was a joke," she said, laughing again.

"Have you made up with Selene yet?" I asked after a moment. I knew she hadn't, but I wasn't going to be the only feeling bad.

Marlene glared, "No. She doesn't want to talk to me."

"Have you tried?" I pushed.

She only shrugged.

"Marlene!"

"What? She's being equally stubborn!" Marlene argued hotly, "I tried to apologize, but then she didn't say anything because Selene is never wrong," Marlene said throwing her hands up in the air, "You wait—I'm sure she's going to get all peeved with you because you made Emmeline cry—"

"I did not make her cry," I said hotly, "James made her cry!"

Marlene ignored me and turned back towards the Quidditch pitch, "I have practice soon," she said. Then she grinned, "Want to stay and watch?"

I scoffed, "No."

She shrugged, "Suit yourself. You're missing out…" she cocked an eyebrow, "Remember James Potter? Our Quidditch Captain?"

Ah. Tempting. But still—no. I think she could tell by disgruntled look, so I didn't even need to say it.

"Ah, come on Lily! You never come and watch me play," she whined.

"If I stayed, I wouldn't be watching you anyway," I pointed out, "Besides, it's cold out here," I complained.

"It's called sacrifice," she said, rolling her eyes, "You should act like all those fourth year girls and make him a poster," she said sniggering, "At least you would be doing something," she added. I ignored her. She was only trying to egg me on, but I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. "I'm sure Emmeline makes him posters. She comes and watches his practices—"

"I'm not Emmeline," I scowled, "For good reason. I'm not staying and watching this stupid practice—" I broke off as people came onto the pitch below, "I'm out of here," I muttered. Marlene kept blocking the stairs, and I was getting riled up again—I had threatened to hex her if she didn't quit acting like an idiot, but then Sirius and James had appeared, both dressed to play Quidditch.

"Evans?" Sirius asked in surprise.

"I was just leaving," I muttered.

"What's going on?" James asked.

"Oh, well Lily was just saying how stupid Quidditch practice is—" Marlene drawled.

"I was not," I snapped, turning pink. I looked at James, "I just have to study—she wanted me to stay and watch—"

"You should," James nodded, breaking into a grin, "We're practicing a few new tactics today."

Whatever that meant. Did I really look like the sort that was interested in their Quidditch practice?

"Come on," Sirius added in, "Do it for me," I glared at him, "Do it for _Jamsie_," he corrected. James rolled his eyes.

"Don't call me that."

"Fine…do it for Prongsie," he said, chuckling to himself. James just rolled his eyes but his lips twitched. They were so immature sometimes. Honestly.

I crossed my arms, "I have work to do—"

"Emmeline," Marlene coughed. Both boys looked at her, and I frowned deeply.

"Fine," I snapped, "I'll stay and watch your bloody practice," I said, sitting back down on the bleachers. Sirius let out a strange, strangled cheer. James grinned widely.

"Brilliant."

"Yeah," Marlene smirked, "_Brilliant_."

James didn't seem to notice her smug expression (thankfully). He just gave me his crooked smile and swung back on his broom. I nearly melted. I smiled shakily back at him before he left. Sirius was watching me with something like mild amusement.

"You're pathetic," he noted, a smirk coming across his face.

"Leave her alone," Marlene said, giving me the same look, "She was attacked by Vance earlier," she began laughing, "She was eavesdropping on her and Owens."

I glared as he chuckled. These two were really merciless. I hadn't been eavesdropping...on purpose.

"She was crying in the loo, again wasn't she?" Sirius tutted. I nodded, surprised. He sighed, "She's been doing that a lot lately. They keep fighting and then she runs off, so Prongs looks on the map and the two of them are hiding out in the loo."

Marlene coughed and gave me a pointed direction.

I hide out in the Hospital Wing—not the loo. Completely different. Marlene didn't wait listen to me. She and Sirius both took off, giving me a wave (Sirius threw in one of his darn cheeky winks) as they joined James in the air.

Then eventually, the rest of the Quidditch team spilled out onto the field and practice began. I began to get distracted—or better yet, began to daydream. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? It was cold, and I was beginning to doubt my common sense for staying out in the freezing late November weather just to watch James practice. It's not like he was even paying me any –oh. He just nearly got hit by a Bludger staring at me. Oops. I waved at him uncertainly, trying not to laugh.

More quickly than I expected, practice ended. I began my climb down the bleachers. Marlene and Sirius, of course, were arguing down on the pitch.

"Are you trying to kill me?" she was screeching.

"I was trying to give you a challenge," Sirius shrugged, "I thought you could _handle it_."

This seemed to make Marlene more furious because she attempted to smack him, but he easily moved out of the way, smirking. Marlene just stormed off before I could stop her.

"Could you quit doing that?" James asked tiredly coming up to him, although he was chuckling slightly, "I don't want her to quit the team."

"She's not going to quit," Sirius said confidently. Then he noticed me and nodded, "Hey, Evans. Did you enjoy…watching?" he asked, smirking now at me.

"Go apologize to Marlene," I snapped.

He just grinned and sauntered off.

"Practice ended early," I commented, I said, turning my attention back towards James who seemed to now be the only one left on the pitch. The two of us began walking back towards the castle.

"Yeah," James rolled his eyes, "Everyone was complaining that it was cold, and then Sirius kept hitting bludgers at Marlene. Smitt kept complaining about needing to study for one of McGonagall's exams, so I figured we'd just end early. We don't have another game until after the holidays," he added with a shrug

"Oh," I said. Why didn't I like Quidditch like Marlene? Then we could bond over that, "Does Emmeline like Quidditch?" I asked before I could think through my question through entirely. Ah. Oops. Now who sounds jealous?

"Emmeline?" he asked, looking guarded, "Er—I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering…I mean, I'm sure you two go flying together and stuff…" I said, trying not to sound bitter.

His lips curved into a smile and he began to smirk, "Are you asking me to teach you how to fly?"

Er—where did he get that ludicrous idea?

"Er—what?"

"You want to learn how to fly, don't you Lily," he said, looking eager now as if that's what I had suggested. How did he get _that_ from my question about Emmeline?

"I never said that," I said frowning, "It's not the matter of learning—it's the fact that I can't. Ever. It's just…not possible."

"Don't be daft," he said, brushing my comment aside.

Daft? I was not daft! Well, not most of the time. But particularly now!

"I am not flying," I said stubbornly.

He titled his head, "I'll make you eat your words, Evans."

I stuck out my tongue, "I'd like to see you try."

I really shouldn't have encouraged the bloke, but to my surprise, all he did was laugh and offer to walk me to the Gryffindor tower before studying with Emmeline. I'm beginning to wish more and more every day that she wasn't in the picture. After all, I can't snog someone who has a girlfriend, can I? I think my moral compass says 'no'.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

The next day was going reasonably well. I'd found out I'd gotten an 'O' on our Transfiguration exam (an O! I could hardly believe it myself). I'd finished the rest of my homework, nor had I experienced an awkward run in with Emmeline, and I had rounds with James this evening. Of course, my afternoon couldn't be perfect. I was heading to the girl's dormitory when I heard Marlene's curses coming from outside the door. I sighed and opened it up, to see a furious Marlene and pink faced Selene.

"Oh, there you are!" Marlene snapped at me. I frowned immediately, unsure why she was snapping at _me_, "Well, I'll let you deal with her," she snapped, storming out. I watched her loud exit in confusion.

"What's wrong?" I asked, bewildered and turning to Selene for answers.

"Nothing," Selene said sharply, "I don't know what's with Marlene lately…"

"Did she try to apologize?" I asked. I was really getting sick of their fighting. It was getting old.

"Sort of," she shrugged.

Er—not very informative, "Well what did she say?" I pressed.

"She's a bit mad about me being friends with Emmeline. I heard what happened yesterday," she added, looking at me, a slight frown now on her face.

"Oh yeah," I rolled my eyes, "Surprise, surprise, Emmeline was being a—"

"No," she said, raising her eyebrows and interrupting my (very well deserved) rant, "Emmeline has every right when you're hitting on her boyfriend. She shouldn't feel obligated to like you—"

"Obligated to like me?" I repeated. I think my mouth literally has dropped open, "I'm not, but when she's spreading lies about me fancying him—"

Selene frowned, "It isn't a lie—"

"Well it is for all she knows!" I snapped, "She can't know—James doesn't even know!"

"Well that's because James is daft," Selene said, crossing her arms, "Maybe you should try forgetting about him. I mean, I know you like him, but if they're happy together then aren't you just making things worse by trying to—"

"I'm not trying to do anything!" I snapped, "Who are you listening to? Me or Vance? She's just jealous that I'm friends with all the Marauders—"

"Yeah?" Selene said, still looking skeptical, "So you're just going to fancy all of them? Is Remus next? You do remember when you used to hate them?" she added, her arms now crossed. I tried to keep my temper cool. I couldn't believe her nerve!

"I never fancied Sirius!" I said, my voice steadily rising. How dare she accuse me of this...again! This was getting to be such an old argument. I don't even think Sirius would find it funny anymore.

"Right," Selene said, crossing her arms, "Well," she sniffed, "I'm supposed to meet Emmeline to study soon—"

"So what? You're best mates with her now? I thought you said that I would have looked good with James—" I said. Yes, I realize I was pouting, but I was rather peeved with one of my supposed 'best mates' who was choosing the enemy's side. Honestly!

"They're in love!" Selene blurted, "Emmeline told me yesterday. It's wrong Lily—what you're doing—trying to break them up. It's wrong! You know it too."

I glared at her, "You know, even if I was trying to do that—which I'm not—it's none of your business," I snapped, turning to leave.

"Oh what?" Selene's voice was high pitched, "You're going to ditch me too? Like Marlene? Just over a stupid guy? Let me remind you _again_ that he's also dating Emmeline Vance—and they love each other. Why do you keep thinking you have a chance, Lily?" she added in a softer tone.

I felt the tears prick my eyes, but I wasn't going to turn and look at Selene and give her any satisfaction. I don't know what she was playing at, but I'd never felt quite betrayed by her before, "It's none of your business," I repeated firmly.

"It's just a little crush, Lily," she said, sounding annoyed again, "You'll get over it soon enough."

"Why don't you just run along to Amos and Emmeline? You've obviously got better people to hang around with now," I said before leaving and making sure to slam the door extra hard. I hurried out of the common room, Selene's words echoing in my head.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe my moral compass was addled.

Then again, maybe I didn't care.

**A/N: More conflict...haha. The reviews are awesome! Thanks so much everyone! :) **


	20. Mistake 16:My Horribly Wonderful Mistake

**Chapter XX- Mistake 16: My Horribly, Wonderful Mistake  
**

Honestly, Sirius really knows how to ruin one's day. It all started after Transfiguration (doesn't something always?). You see, I had absolutely splendid news—I no longer needed Emmeline to be my tutor! After an absolutely horrid week, this was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. In fact, I nearly hugged McGonagall, but she gave me one of her stiff, stern looks so I sort of gave her a hurried thanks instead and ran out of there.

Marlene, being a decent friend (unlike Sirius), was very pleased. She was a proper friend and excited for me. After all, since our last run in, tutoring sessions were bound to be awkward (that or might just snap and hex her). As long as I keep up the 'E's and occasional 'O', Professor McGonagall thought I'd be prepared for my N.E.W.T.s!

It's relieving not to have to be tutored anymore. Although, I may ask Sirius for help occasionally—you know, when I'm not peeved with him (which is bound to be a rare occurrence).

It began after lunch on our way to Potions. Once again, I'm regretting ever being Potion partners with him, now that I think about it. Anyway, I don't know where Marlene went off to—she dreads Potions ever class period since she no longer fancies Benjy. They're still partners, and he keeps trying to hit it off with her apparently. She said the cold shoulder is not very successful when it comes to that bloke.

Well, you see, I was in Potions early which isn't unusual for me, but it was unusual for Sirius Black. I should've known then that he was going to be a prat. Sirius is never on time for any class on a good day—why would he ever be _early_?

"Hello love," he said, watching me place my things down.

"Hello Sirius," I said brightly, "You're early," I noted.

He didn't say anything as I sat down, and then I realized how quiet it was. We were the only ones in the dreaded classroom. Brilliant. Alone with Sirius Black. I was just asking for it, wasn't I?

No, don't worry. It's not like he was going to do something totally stupid—like trying to snog me again (that worked out so well last time). Instead, he decided to get his knickers in a twist after finally talking to me. I still haven't worked out why. None of this is any of his business anyway.

"I'm on your side you know," he said out of the blue.

"My side of what?" I asked, giving him a blank look.

"You know," he said, looking exasperated. I frowned slightly.

"Did James tell you?" I demanded. Great. Now Emmeline had gone blabbing to James about me. I'm sure she twisted the story into something horrible too.

Sirius frowned as well, "No. Why would he know anything about it? Nah, Marlene told me. Anyway, if you ask me, you should forget about Lovett and cuss out Vance properly and put her in her place."

Like I would ever take his advice. Please. Psh.

"Er—that's alright. Selene just needs time to realize she's being daft about all this, and Emmeline—well she very well can shove it—"

"You're just going to wait around? Prongs isn't going to wait forever—you're going to have to do something—other than flirting with him occasionally. You have to tell him how you feel—"

"You know," I said rather hotly, "Everyone else seems so convinced of my feelings for James—except me. Don't you see this problem with this? Besides it's clear he's already done waiting. He's with Emmeline…and…well," I cleared my throat as Sirius continued to look skeptical, "They're in love."

Sirius looked at me in disbelief, but when it was clear that's all I had to say, he said, "You're joking."

"No," I said, frowning, "Selene told me, and it's really not fair because I don't love him—I mean, love is a big deal, and if they're happy—" I muttered depressingly.

"James isn't happy!" Sirius shouted. I became very thankful for the empty classroom and glared at him properly.

"Shut it, will you? Do you want someone to hear?" I hissed. I mean, yes, I'd rather him not be dating Emmeline, but as furious as I was with Selene, she did have a point with the whole 'James-has-a-girlfriend' spiel.

"You're being daft, Evans," he said bitterly, "James is still in love with you—not Vance. You're being bloody ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous? I'm the only one being logical here! In fact, this is none of your business, Black—"

"Prongs is my business, and you need to quit messing with his head—"

"Will you quit it with those stupid nicknames?" I snapped in frustration.

He was quiet for a really long time, eyeing me uncertainly, "Fine. Maybe I was wrong about you, Evans," he said coldly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

Instead of answering, he got up and headed for the dungeon door, "Oy, where are you going? We have class!" He didn't listen but continued out the door.

Like I said, Sirius Black really knows how to ruin someone's good day. Instead of being happy about my freedom from Emmeline Vance, I was sulking over what Sirius had said. I didn't even take proper notes in Potions because of him.

I really don't know what was going on with Sirius' mood swings. I thought they were a bit uncalled for, personally. Of course, when I mentioned it to Marlene, she just sighed dramatically.

"Lily, when are you going to get it through your thick skull?"

I pretended to look offended, but she ignored me, "Lily," she said, "You obviously like the bloke. Selene is just a lying slut—"

"Mar!"

"What?" Marlene shrugged, "I know very well that James does not love Vance no matter what Selene might say. She just doesn't want to have to choose sides, so she thinks if she can stop you from fancying him, it'll all be better. She's wrong. She thinks everything is just peachy now because she's with Diggory—"

"What does this have to do with Diggory?"

"And just because I'm mates with Black she's convinced I'm going after what she could never have—"

"Is that what the two of you are fighting over?"

"Who I don't like anyway and if I did, I wouldn't sit around and do nothing—I'd just go and snog the bloke. It's not that hard," she looked at me, "A word of advice for you, Lily," she added, "Sirius is just angry because you're turning into someone just as hopeless as Selene."

"Wait a moment—" I began, feeling very confused and rather offended that she was comparing me to Selene's cowardice. This was a totally different situation—wasn't it? Besides, part of the problem was that I couldn't just go and snog James if I wanted to. He has a girlfriend! People keep forgetting this for some weird reason. Oh, I don't know why they're all convinced that James likes me either—

"Lily?"

Speak of the devil. James Potter was here to rescue me from my own thoughts. I couldn't decide if this was a good thing or bad thing. I half thought about running away, but I think he saw the signs. Marlene tells me I get a sort of frantic look in my eyes when I'm trying to run away from people. Okay, okay, maybe I am a bit of a coward. How did I end up in Gryffindor again?

"Where are you going?" he said, blocking my escape.

"Er—busy afternoon," I muttered.

"You're done with class," he noted as I tried to side step him again.

"Er—yes."

"Brilliant, care to go on a walk?"

"Uh…"

"Great!" he said, pulling my arm and forcing me along. What was he doing? I needed to sort out my thoughts before he tried to pull these sorts of stunts on me.

"Where are we going?" I asked, pulling my arm out of his grasp finally.

"Outside…c'mon, it's snowing!" he said excitedly.

Snow? I hated the snow, "I really don't care for snow…" I began hesitantly.

"It's the first snowfall of the year," he said happily, "We have to celebrate. Everyone's outside already." Everyone was outside? Oh dear… "You never join in on the snowball fights, either," he complained.

For good reason. Why would I voluntarily subject myself to a snowball fight? Especially one that involved the Marauders. I turned to ask this very question, but the look of James' face drowned my voice. I feel as if I told him I didn't want to partake in a snowball fight, he'd act like I'd killed his puppy.

"Oh, fine," I said in exasperation, "But I need to grab my cloak—"

"Marlene has it," he grinned, "She said the only way we could convince you to come was if I came and talked you into it. Apparently you and everyone else are on shifty terms?" he said, posing it into a question at the end.

"No, Marlene and Sirius are just being annoying," I said irritably, but I was fighting back a smile and James laughed.

I was sort of listening to him as we made our way out to the grounds. He was talking about...Christmas maybe? As we walked outside I realized how much I hadn't been paying attention this morning. Sure enough, there were white flurries falling and now there was a thin blanket of snow covering the ground, "This isn't enough snow for a snowball fight—" I began to argue feebly before being shoved to the ground by James himself as something else went whistling by my ear.

"I think they've already started. By the way—which team would you like to be on? Mine or Sirius'?" he asked, helping me back up. I scowled and ignored his hand, brushing the snow off myself.

Then, I tilted my head, considering my options. It would be great fun to throw snowballs at Sirius—

"I understand if you don't think you can compete with this," James added arrogantly, smirking at me widely as I tried to decide.

"Ah…I was wondering when I'd see the conceited prat in you come out again…"

"Hey!"

"It's on," I said with a sharp nod. He didn't reply but smirked as I turned around. The moment my back was turned, I felt icy snow on the back of my neck. I couldn't help it; I let out one of those girly squeals and turned back around quickly, "James!"

He shrugged, tossing another one that I managed to dodge, "All's fair in war, love," he said before scattering off to another group of people. I assumed it was his side. I wanted to tell him that wasn't the right use of the quote, but he was already gone.

Instead, I trudged over towards Sirius who was yelling instructions at Jasmine who kept giggling about something.

"You came?" Sirius noted, sounding surprised. I ignored him, feeling rather irritated now that I had snow down my sweater. I needed my cloak. Sirius seemed to notice me shivering. A slight smirk appeared on his face as he summoned it for me, "Here."

"Where do I start? Do I just…" I bent down to make a ball of snow, "Can I just go throw it at James now? Wait—am I allowed to use magic?"

"Yes and no. It wouldn't be fair. We'd cream them," he said, chuckling. Pity. I'm sure there were a few charms I could've used, "Why are you so eager to bombard, Prongs?" he asked, "Lover's spat?"

"Not quite," I muttered, "Glad to see you're in a better mood," I noted, "You missed Potions."

"Slughorn probably didn't even notice," he said shrugging, "Just go throw your snowballs. You're infuriating, you know that, Evans?"

I shrugged and gave him a grin, not feeling that angry anymore. Instead, I decided I should go and…ahem…avenge myself. I spotted him over with Emmeline—of course she was on his team. I'd forgotten he'd have invited her as well. They were close together, Emmeline was talking in his ear—urgh. Whispering sweet nothings? I seriously hope not. So, I decided to hit two birds with one stone, and I aimed for the two of them.

Even I was surprised when I hit my target. It's not like I play Quidditch or anything. I don't have the best sense of aim or physical ability when it comes to sports. Hell, the Hogwarts staircases put me out of breath when I run up them.

I managed to hit them both in the face (which was an accident by the way), so they both turned around, looking…well wet and snowy, "Sorry!" I called, "A bit high!"

Emmeline looked absolutely furious, and James was laughing, "Nice hit, Evans," he called across teasingly, picking up snow. Emmeline must've said something, so he paused and I hightailed it out of there. I wasn't looking forward to being pummeled by our Quidditch captain. I have an inkling that James might be slightly competitive.

"Back so soon?" Sirius smirked.

"Yes," I muttered, "Where's Marlene?"

"Chasing Selene with a bunch of charmed snowballs."

"I thought we weren't allowed—" I broke off and sighed, "Right. This is Marlene."

"Yeah, well, you had a good hit," Sirius said laughing, "Did you see Vance's face? Brilliant."

"Thanks," I said, feeling a small surge of pride. I know, I know, it's just a snowball fight, but it feels good to beat her in something—like a snowball fight, "We need to win," I commented suddenly, my grin sliding a little, "I can't let Emmeline beat me at this."

Sirius looked amused, "Alright…I'm not complaining but please tell me you plan on doing more about this situation than beating Vance in a snowball fight?"

"No," I said, tilting my chin up, "You and Marlene can go discuss your ideas somewhere else—preferably somewhere where I'm not present," I said as I began packing more snowballs up.

"Hmm…maybe with James? Maybe I can convince him—although I've already tried. He doesn't believe me. He thinks the two of you will only ever be friends. He thinks Emmeline is his only choice—"

"That's a load of dragon dung," I snapped, "James Potter can have any girl in the school if he wanted to—"

"Except you," he noted. He looked thoughtful, "And maybe a handful of Slytherins," he added.

"You're hopeless—" I began. I was cut off by a snowball to the ear. Ow! Snow can actually be painful. I whipped around, ignoring Sirius' laughter. It was Amos Diggory who looked rather sheepish. I'm assuming he was aiming for Sirius otherwise he's seriously dead.

"Sorry, Lily!" he called. I responded by chucking a snowball at him. I missed. Eh. I guess I can only get lucky so many times. The rest of the afternoon turned out to be pretty fun. Sirius and Remus took control of our team (Remus was the strategist, and Sirius…er…I think he was there to keep everyone spirited). I can't really say who won or lost. I would like to say that I hit Emmeline about five times—she only managed to hit me twice. What does it matter if she can ride a broomstick? That sort of thing isn't important. Right?

Either way, by this point, the sun had begun to vanish, so we were all beginning to head in. I felt another snowball in my back, and I stopped, swiveling around slowly.

"Potter," I growled, spotting him. He walked, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," he said, grinning sheepishly. Ack. If only he wasn't so cute when he grinned like that…well, that can't be helped.

"It's okay, I suppose since you're the one who convinced me to come out after all," I said, grinning.

"You enjoyed it?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was really fun. I've never had a proper snowball fight. When I was little, my sister and I would make snow angels and snow forts," I said, grinning at the memories.

"When the two of you got along?" he asked, a bit quietly now.

"Yeah…we weren't nearly as competitive then. Everything seemed much more simple…you know?" he didn't say anything, and I felt the fast paced babbling begin, "People are just more complicated now, you know? I mean, I don't know what to do about Selene. There was a time when we were all inseparable, and now we're graduating this year and growing up. Then there's…well…someone that I fancy, and I never know what he's thinking half the time, and it's all so confusing—"

"Lily," James was now too close again. I don't think I've ever been this close to him before—unless I was screaming at him. I think that happened once in fifth year—our noses were nearly touching, and he'd asked if I was trying to make out with him. I'd slapped him instead.

Now however…well, today was an entirely different story. I'm trying to remember how to breathe properly.

"You have no idea what you do to my head, sometimes, Lily."

I wanted to say he was preaching to the choir, but I'm pretty sure he would have no idea what that idiom meant so I kept it to myself.

"What do you mean?" I asked instead.

"You're…confusing as well. Tell me about this guy though," he said, looking serious, stepping back and linking my arm to head up to the castle, "He must be pretty brilliant if he's caught your eye."

He was being conceited without even knowing it. I laughed and shook my head, "He can when he wants to be. Other times he can be…irritating as hell."

James looked surprised, "Yeah, well let me know when he's being a prat, and I'll make sure he isn't such a git for you."

"That's okay," I laughed, "I've told him once or twice."

James paused, "Please tell me we're not talking about Sirius."

No one is ever going to drop that, are they? "No," I said tiredly, "It's not Sirius."

"Okay," he said, still looking rather bleak. He's looking bleak? He's asking me to describe him to himself! "So what does he do?" he asked, "Plays Quidditch?"

I nodded, "Yeah, he's alright," I said, smirking slightly.

"Ah, I'm better, aren't I?" he asked grinning. I just smiled, "Does he play for a house team?" he asked. I nodded slowly, "Which house?"

"Ah, well, we're getting nosy, aren't we?" I asked, pressing my lips together to keep from laughing. He looked annoyed but nodded.

"Okay then…well what is he good at?"

"Oh, well he's pretty smart. Not really Prefect or Head Boy material…well…I didn't think so at first. You know, I couldn't stand the bloke in the beginning. All I used to be able to see were all his faults. It's funny, you might have one idea about a person, but then when you get to know them, you tend to see other things about them that you might've ignored before. I guess that's my problem with people."

James lips twitched, "Yeah, I recall you doing a similar thing to me," he said, chuckling.

I was going to say something else, but then I stopped instead, looking up at the sky, "It's snowing again," I commented.

"It is, isn't it?" We'd both stopped walking, lifting our faces up to the sky. It was a perfect moment. I don't know how to describe it other than a feeling of complete calm, standing there in the dark, in the snow. I couldn't have imagined it any better…okay, well maybe I could (I mean we could have been snogging in the snowy darkness).

James was the first to take steps back inside.

"I'll always remember this," I said in a small voice, glancing at his face. He looked down at me, smiling slightly.

"Why?"

"Because…it was…it's one of those memories you share with someone," I tried to explain, "It's me enjoying the snow for the first time in years…it's…" It's you. That's what I wanted to say, but I couldn't, "I just will," I said lamely.

"I will too…but not for any of those reasons," he said. We had stopped again. I was beginning to realize how cold it was. It had been taking us a very long time to move indoors. We were nearly there—steps away, actually.

"What are your reasons?" I asked quietly.

"The person I'm sharing it with," he said, looking at me. He stepped closer, and I didn't move back. We both seemed to know what was going to happen before it did, but neither of us tried to stop it. Maybe that was my mistake. Or maybe it was his. I'm not sure anymore.

Our foreheads touched, and I felt my eyes close as he bent down to kiss my lips lightly. It was nothing fiery or deep. It was soft and simple and much too short. I opened my eyes, thinking that it was absolutely wonderful, but then, the noise of someone from inside broke us apart. We jumped apart from each other as Sirius opened the door.

"There you two are! Remus, Marlene, Peter and I are going to raid the kitchens—" he broke off, looking at the two of us, "Are you alright?" he asked, noticing our faces.

"Er—no, I'm not feeling well," I said, "I think I've been in the cold too long. I'm not thinking straight," I muttered, brushing past him into the castle. I heard Sirius ask something along the lines 'what the hell did you do?', but I didn't wait to hear the answer. I took off for refuge in the Hospital Wing. Perhaps Madam Pomfrey would be sympathetic to my plight. Merlin knows not many other people would be. Ah shit.

**A/N: Took me long enough, sorry everyone. Maybe it's worth it? Haha. R/R! :)**


	21. Mistake 17: Blaming the Snow

**_***Recap! Chapter 20 ****_**

_Our foreheads touched, and I felt my eyes close as he bent down to kiss my lips lightly. It was nothing fiery or deep. It was soft and simple and much too short. I opened my eyes, thinking that it was absolutely wonderful, but then, the noise of someone from inside broke us apart. We were soon a foot away from each other as Sirius opened the door._

_"There you two are! Remus, Marlene, Peter and I are going to raid the kitchens—" he broke off, looking at the two of us, "Are you alright?" he asked._

_"Er—no, I'm not feeling well," I said, "I think I've been in the cold too long. I'm not thinking straight," I muttered, brushing past him into the castle. I heard Sirius ask something along the lines 'what the hell did you do?', but I didn't wait for answer. I took off for refuge in the Hospital Wing. Perhaps Madam Pomfrey would be sympathetic to my plight. Merlin knows not many other people would be. Ah shit._

**XXI. Mistake 17—Blaming the Snow**

Madam Pomfrey was not sympathetic. In fact, she frowned at me and asked why I was in the hospital wing if I wasn't sick or sprouting extra limbs.

"The library is already closed, and I don't want my friends to hate me," I explained, thinking of what Marlene would say if I told her what had just happened. Madam Pomfrey continued to give me her straight lipped expression. "Please?" I added, trying to look pathetic. It wasn't that hard. I sure felt pathetic.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. Perhaps because there were no sick people or maybe part of it was due to the lack of company she had on Thursday evenings, either way, she let me sit down and to my surprise, she asked me what was bothering me. I took a large breath and spilled into my story, giving her a rather bleak picture of my sticky and bloody _impossible_ situation. After I was done, she just stared at me in amusement before finally asking, "Is that all?"

Is that all? Is that all! Did she not see my crisis? I just kissed the boy I fancy who is dating and in love with someone else. What part of that does NOT sound problematic? Oh not only that, but then his best mate ruined it all, and I ran away. But yeah, that's all.

"It's not as bad as you're working it up to be. Nothing that a nice chat won't solve," she said briskly. This is the nurse in her coming out, I suppose. _Here's a solution that will make everything better_—I highly doubt that. I don't see this situation getting much better any time soon. I wonder if James told Sirius—who am I kidding—of course he told him. They tell each other everything. Well, nearly. I don't think Sirius ever told him that I fancy the pants off the bloke.

This has gotten immensely complicated in a short span of a one evening.

Why did he decide to kiss me? Why did he think that was a good idea? It was an absolutely horrid idea—yet it was so _nice_…no. It wasn't. Ah Merlin. I'm not going to be able to show my face in school. Oh my goodness—what if I run into Emmeline? What am I supposed to _do_? I wonder if James will tell her…

The only small, sliver of light I can think of is that at least I only have two more weeks of school before break which means only two more weeks of James Potter. I wonder if I could avoid him for a whole two weeks. I think it would be possible if we didn't have Head duties together. Hmmm.

What was Madam Pomfrey saying? I think it was something about facing the consequences of my actions. Psh. If I wanted that sort of rubbish advice, I could ask Selene…or my mother. As a matter of fact, my mother would probably be nicer than both of them…

"Can I at least have a sleeping draught?"

"No," she said sternly, "You know, I'm surprised at you, Lily. You're usually so responsible—"

I was gone before I had to listen to_ that_ lecture. I thanked her for the words of wisdom and went on my way.

Oh Merlin. What am I going to say? What if I just said nothing? Hold on—brilliant idea, what if I pretend nothing happened? That would be perfect! I just have to act like nothing ever happened and—

That's going to be impossible.

How am I going to forget that he kissed me?

Particularly when I want to do it again? I touched my lips gingerly, frowning as I walked down the corridor.

Ack. I'm in quite the pickle. I was still conflicting with my inner self when I made it into the common room. Unfortunately,_ he_ was waiting for me in the common room. I should have been expecting something like that.

"The Hospital Wing, really Evans?" James asked sharply, scaring the wits out of me. He'd come out of nowhere the moment I'd entered. It was rather crowded inside and everyone was chatting loudly, a typical Thursday night.

I winced, looking around desperately for Marlene whom seemed to be missing from the crowds of people scattered in the common room. "Er—hullo there James," I tried bracingly, "Listen, if you don't mind I need to make a dash upstairs—"

"No," he said, taking a firm hold of my wrist, "We need to talk."

Urgh. Well, no one in history has ever liked those four words. Has anything good ever come from them? I think not.

"James, let go," I snapped, "I have to—er—" I tried desperately to think of something logical.

"No," he said sternly, dragging me along with him.

"It must be past curfew now," I muttered hopelessly.

"Not quite. Besides, did you forget? We have rounds tonight?"

Oh no. I had forgotten. How was I supposed to walk around the castle with him for an hour? I couldn't just skive...could I? This was turning into a worse night with every given moment.

"Listen, we need to talk about what happened earlier," he said, now turning to face me, "I didn't mean to—it just…" he paused, apparently trying to collect his thoughts…or something.

"It's fine," I muttered, grabbing my arm back, "Now if you don't mind, I really do have a lot of work to do before rounds. We'll just forget it, yeah? Like it never happened," I managed to get out. I mean, I already knew that it probably didn't mean anything to him, but I didn't really want to hear him say it. I didn't want to hear that it was all just a mistake. I just wanted to go crawl into my bed and let out a good cry.

"That's not what I meant, Lily," he said, frowning deeply at me.

"This way," I continued as if I hadn't heard him. I felt like I was going to be hysteric soon if I didn't finish this conversation _now_, "You don't have to worry about Emmeline knowing or the rest of your mates—I won't say anything, I swear. It was just… just…the snow. That's all. It's all because of the snow."

"Because of the snow?" he repeated dubiously.

Yes! Merlin, was he deaf? I had to have some excuse for letting him kiss me. "Yes," I said, "I've—I've really got to go. _Fairy Wings_," I muttered and I scrambled back into the portrait hole before he could stop me. Immediately, I raced up to the dorm. I slammed it shut as soon as I got inside. Unfortunately, the only person in there was Selene. She glanced up at me.

"What's wrong?" she asked, catching my expression. Er…

"Nothing," I said quickly, trying to calm myself and smile casually. I think it looked more like a grimace, "Just…not feeling well. That's all," I said before going into my own bed and pulling the curtains.

What was I going to do?

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

So, I skipped rounds.

I'm a horrible Head Girl.

And I'm a coward.

Why did James ever like me again? I woke up, wondering why I felt so bloody awful, then Marlene reminded me.

"There you are," she said as I stumbled out of bed, "Where were you? You and James missed awesome hot chocolate last night—ooh, let me guess? Late night rendezvous?" she asked laughing. I felt my face burn up, so I headed to the bathroom, joking back weakly. I just had to act normal. Then everything would be fine.

"Oh…yeah…you know…er…with the snow and all."

"You alright?" Marlene called outside the door, "You don't sound that great."

"Yeah, I was feeling a bit under the weather. You know how I get in the cold," I said back, looking at my reflection. I was all freckly. I wondered if James liked freckles. I know he likes me eyes—he used to always say that, before he dated Emmeline anyway. He said they were so green—like emeralds. I suppose they were rather pretty. I hope he still thought so.

He did, didn't he? Otherwise he wouldn't have kissed me. Then again, he was just about to tell me what a big mistake it had all been.

What if it really _was_ the snow. Is that even a logical excuse? Or is that just me making things up? I'm not really sure anymore. Either way, I think I'm just going to avoid James until the holidays. Hopefully, everything will work itself out that way.

...

Who am I kidding? Nothing will quite work out, especially if I ignore him. He's either going to be with Emmeline or not, and if he's not, well, we all know how likely that is going to be.

I can't tell Marlene either now because she's just going to think I'm crazy…which, you know, I very well may be.

Either way, I got ready making sure to look particularly well put together before I left the bathroom. I wasn't going to let James know, of all people, how much last night was addling my mind.

Marlene noticed I had put on a bit of make up because she grinned when I emerged, "Who are you looking cute for? James?"

"Quit it, will you?" I snapped, "I don't want to hear any more ridiculous notions of how to break him and Vance up—it's not happening, okay? I'm serious." The feeling of guilt bubbled up in my stomach, and I swallowed, determined to ignore it.

Marlene did not look very pleased—in fact, she sulked all of breakfast, but by the time we had Herbology, she'd let it go.

"Let's work with Sirius and Peter today," she said as we entered.

"What about Remus?"

"He had to leave this morning—his mum was ill again," Marlene said offhandedly.

"Right before the holidays?"

She shrugged, "I suppose."

"His mum is always ill," I said, frowning.

"Whose Mum?" Peter asked, sitting next to us, "Why are you sitting at our table?" he added, frowning slightly.

"Because they're working with us, dimwit," Sirius said offhandedly.

"Remus' mum…she always seems to be sick, doesn't she?"

"I have a better question, Evans," Sirius said, his eyes narrowed, "What the hell did you say to James yesterday?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice a little high for my own liking. I wish I was better at lying. _Damn_.

"Don't try and fool me," he snapped, "James has been off all morning and yesterday after whatever the hell you two were doing in the snow."

"We were just talking," I said, trying to sound exasperated, "I didn't say anything unusual," I said, shrugging, "Maybe something else is bothering him. Did he…er…did he mention anything?" I added, trying to slip it in slyly. I don't think it worked.

"No," he narrowed his eyes, "When I asked him, he said he had to talk to you and scampered off. Then after…supposedly 'talking' to you, he was in an awful mood and wouldn't speak to anyone."

"Yeah, you had to be the reason he was acting all grumpy," Peter agreed, "I mean, he was fine earlier and then you two stayed behind when we all went for hot chocolate—"

"You both are being ridiculous," I snapped, "Whatever his problem is, it's not me." Lie. I turned to listen to Professor Sprout, but I should have known Marlene wasn't going to take Sirius' comments lightly.

_What did you say to James?_ She scribbled out on a note and shoved it at me.

**Nothing. Why won't you three drop it? **I wrote back hastily. **  
**

_Something happened. Please tell me something happened! Did you snog him? _I bit my lip but didn't look up at Marlene before writing down..._  
_

**No.**

_Lily, you're not telling me something. This is breaking our code of friendship._ She can tell when I'm not even looking at her? Ack.

**I'm getting over him. I don't want to like him anymore, Marlene, so quit bringing it up.**

I glared at her after sending the last note, and she didn't try to send anymore notes after that, thankfully. I hadn't been expecting that to work. I also had lied to her. Hopefully she won't find that out…she'd be more than a little pissed off. Sirius, however, had no inclination of personal boundaries, and he continued to poke and prod me with questions throughout the entire period. I ignored him and hexed him under the table a few times. As it turns out, I learned absolutely nothing in class that day because I was so distracted by everyone around me which was only putting me in a sourer mood.

Then there was James. Well, he had the nerve to try and catch up with me after class. Of course, I went with my natural instinct. I hid in the Hospital Wing immediately. I think Madam Pomfrey was in her office, so I went behind one of the curtains to avoid being caught. I'm not sure if she'd be so happy to see me two days in a row.

"Lily?"

I spun around, "Remus!" I squeaked, "What are you doing here?"

"Er—feeling under the weather. You?"

"Hiding from your mates," I said breezily, taking a chair next to his bed, "I'm sorry you don't feel—" I broke off, suddenly realizing something, "I thought your mum was ill."

"My mum?" Remus asked, looking mildly surprised, "Is that what James told you?"

"Marlene actually."

"Ah, Marlene might have misheard while my mum is sick…I'm still here. Just…er…hanging in the Hospital Wing."

"You didn't seem too bad yesterday. Do you think it's because of the cold? Were you properly dressed?" I asked worriedly. Remus gave a pained smile.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I have a weak immune system."

"Hmm…there must be a potion for that…"

"There's not," he said quickly, giving a small smile, "Trust me, not for what I have. I'd know."

"Oh, okay," I said, sitting there quietly for a moment.

"So…" Remus said, giving me an unsure glance, "Which one of my friends are you running from?"

He _was_ looking pretty ill. He was all pale—more so than usual. He's a pretty pale guy, "You really don't look well. What is Madam Pomfrey giving you?" I demanded, "I mean, I'm no expert but I know a few potions for when you're feeling run down—"

"It's fine Lily," he said calmly but with a tone of finality to it, "Madam Pomfrey has everything under control," he assured me. Now, I do not doubt Madam Pomfrey's healing skills, but I am rather handy when it comes to Potions so you think the bloke would appreciate my help. Apparently not.

"Oh," I fell silent before I realized I hadn't answered his question, "I was running from James. I think…er…you know…we need to give each other some space."

"Why?" Remus looked alarmed.

"Er—because?" I shrugged, "He's with Emmeline, and I need to get over him properly—"

"You can't be over him—" Remus began. He was cut off by Madam Pomfrey opening the curtain.

"What is all this ruckus—Miss Evans!" she snapped. I jumped.

"Er—hello. Good morning."

"Back again?"

"Again?" Remus asked, giving me one of his annoying quizzical looks. I ignored him and looked at Madam Pomfrey innocently.

"I was just saying hello—"

"This boy needs his rest, isn't that right Mr. Lupin? You know how I feel about visitors. Out, _now_, Miss Evans," she said, shooing me out.

"Sure, sure, er, Madam Pomfrey, everything I spoke to you about yesterday…absolutely confidential, right?" I asked, once we were out of earshot of Remus. Madam Pomfrey looked exasperated, but she answered with an 'Of course' before shooing me out once again. I'm beginning to think this woman doesn't like me with the way she keeps kicking me out.

"You really need to find a new hiding spot, Evans," James said coolly, "You're becoming predictable." I groaned, realizing he'd been waiting outside the Hospital Wing doors for me.

"Can't you just leave me alone? I'm trying to properly avoid you."

"Yeah, well that's just stupid," he said sharply.

I glared at him. It was not stupid! I had a good reason to avoid him. I was trying to ignore my feelings for him and that was going to be impossible if he kept popping up everywhere. I was on the verge of telling him this, when he had to start talking.

"Listen, I know what I did and what I said yesterday was stupid—"

"Haven't we already established this?" I asked irritably, beginning down the corridor quickly.

"No," he snapped, "We haven't spoken properly. You just said something about me and blaming it on the snow. What the hell does that even mean?" he demanded.

"It just means, it's okay. Neither of us like each other that way, but you know…romantic snow…it makes people do things they didn't mean to. I know you didn't mean to because you're in love with Emmeline—"

"Who told you that?" he asked, forgetting to be angry and looking extremely bewildered. Ah, I guess that was supposed to be a secret or something?

"That doesn't matter," I said, waving away his question. I racked my brains for something else, not wanting to come across as too pathetic, "And I…well, I was telling you about my guy, remember?" Eh. I wonder if I can make James jealous of himself? I wonder if he would ever actually be jealous...

"The guy without the name?" James said gruffly, "Fine. How serious are you about him?" he asked, still sounding incredibly irritated.

Sometimes I wonder why I do these sort of things to myself. After all, how do I get myself in these situations? I felt like crying, so I looked away, "Well, you know, at first I thought it was a stupid crush, but lately, I've been realizing my feelings might be a bit deeper," I tried to say as casually as possible. I have no idea if it worked since I couldn't see his face.

"Yeah?" James had softened up a bit, "And I'm just screwing it all up?"

"Something like that," I said, still not meeting his eye.

"I'm sorry. You're right…we were both just…" he paused for a long moment and then said quietly, "I guess…it was the snow."

"Good," I said feeling relieved and slightly heartbroken. Part of me was hoping he'd say he didn't love Emmeline, and that he loved me and that he didn't care anymore because he was going to be with me instead. Of course, life never quite works out like that. Instead, he said something stupid—like how we were going to keep being friends. Did he honestly expect me to be his friend after all this? For once, I didn't say anything. I nodded and smiled.

Then, after he was finished, he said he had to meet the guys. They had things to plan for later that he missed yesterday, and if he was any later today, they might murder him. I managed to give a shaky laugh at his attempt to joke with me before hurrying off to my dorm. Thank Merlin it was empty. I don't think I could've explained it all to Marlene, and if I was lectured by Selene again, I swear I might snap. Instead, I crawled into my bed and let myself have that good cry I've been needing. Merlin, I really know how to screw things up.

**A/N: Hey everyone, thanks so much for all the reviews! You all have been awesome! :) I had some computer issues, but I should be back to regular updates now! :)  
**


	22. Mistake 18: My Rambling Mouth

**XXII. Mistake 18- My Rambling Mouth**

I wish I could say everything was going great and it had all gone back to normal. After all, this is how it was all supposed to happen. I was never supposed to be with James Potter of all people. It just made no sense. What had I ever been thinking?

If only my feelings were so easy to banish…at least I have the heavy burden of NEWT classes and homework. The last two weeks I kept myself busy with studying and retreating to the library. There is no better way to avoid a Marauder than that, in my opinion. Marlene was annoyed, but she kept busy by hanging out with Sirius—apparently they were good mates now since they bonded over their hated Emmeline (for different reasons). Besides being on my side, Marlene was annoyed that Selene seemed to have picked up a new best friend throughout our 'fight' or whatever this was. I couldn't care less anymore. We hadn't spoken in ages since our last argument. I refused to apologize—the way I saw it, she needed to be the first to speak up.

Anyway, it was around the last week of school and I was trying to keep myself busy. I was pinning up the notice for the last Hogsmeade weekend before we all left for the holidays.

"Lily?" James had found me, "Hey, do you need a hand?"

"No," I said quickly, "Almost done," I added hanging up one of the last ones. Thank goodness.

"Oh, well, how have you been?" he asked, "I feel like I only see you on rounds now." That's because I avoided him at all times if possible.

"Yeah," I shrugged, "I've been busy."

"Oh…hey, well, I wanted to make sure you were still coming for New Years," he said casually as he leaned against the wall, but he was watching me carefully under his rimmed glasses.

I froze. New Years? I hadn't thought about that in forever. How could he expect me to go _now_? It's not like I'd spoken to him recently. I'd been avoiding him and all the Marauders. The only time I spoke to Sirius anymore was when he bugged me in Potions.

"Oh," I frowned, careful to avoid contact. "Er—I don't think I can anymore. Er—something came up. Listen, I'd love to chat, but I'm supposed to meet Marlene in a bit so…er…yeah," I said lamely and hurrying off before he could stop me.

You know, I may not have many talents. I'm no good at Quidditch, Transfiguration or throwing snowballs, but I am pretty decent at avoiding people. He didn't even try and find me the rest of the day, thankfully. And we only had one more night of rounds together left, so I just had to make it the rest of this week and I'd be alright.

Of course, when it came to rounds that Friday, the night before Hogsmeade, he was ever so chipper and talkative. I should've known he was going to be acting funny. Usually our rounds were silent and awkward only to be broken by James' occasional stab at conversation. Didn't he get the hint? I didn't want to talk to him anymore. No, we couldn't just be 'friends'. What sort of rubbish suggestion as that anyway?

"So glad to have a break from school for awhile," he was saying.

I nodded, not feeling very talkative. I'd helped Hagrid and Professor Flitwick with all the tinsel on the trees on the castle, and I'd gotten ahead and finished my Potions essay that was due when we got back from the holidays. I was a little exhausted and not particularly looking forward to rounds with the ever persistent and overly cheerful James Potter.

He was now talking about Hagrid's obsession with dragons. I have no idea how he got started on that subject, but he interrupted himself and said, "So why have you been ignoring me these past few weeks, Lily?"

I blinked in surprise, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. What's going on, Lily?" he demanded (more sternly than was necessary in my opinion).

"N—nothing. I…I've just been busy. I told you," I said, keeping my gaze straight ahead.

"That's a lie," he said. He'd stopped walking, and I laughed.

"Come on James, we have rounds—" I began.

"I don't care about bleeding rounds," he snapped, "We're not stepping around this again. It's because I kissed you isn't it. Why? _You_ said it didn't matter. You said it was _fine_," he said, looking quite furious as I'd ever seen him.

"It—it is," I said, stepping away, "I don't know why you're bringing it up again," I added, resentfully. I really didn't need his constant reminder. I already knew he thought it was a mistake, and I know that I should think it was too…but it's hard to remember sometimes, especially when he keeps being thrown into my life ever too often!

"Why aren't you coming on New Years, Lily?" he asked quietly.

"I've already answered all these questions for you before, James," I said tiredly, "Listen, I'm not in the mood for you to analyze all my answers. You and Sirius can go throw a slumber party and—"

"I'm not going to let you brush me off, Lily. You need to be honest with me. For once," he said, meeting my eyes and holding it until I finally looked away. I began walking down the corridor.

"We really need to do rounds," I attempted weakly, glancing at him over my shoulder.

"Lily!" he said, "What if I said that I wasn't dating Emmeline anymore? Would that change anything? Would you still hate me?"

"I don't hate you," I said quietly, "We're friends," I added. We weren't. We never were going to be able to just be friends. It just took me quite awhile to realize it.

"Friends? You don't ignore your friends, do you?" he snapped.

"Oh, I don't know. Ask Selene. I can be quite a bitch when I want to. Now either we're going to finish rounds or you can bugger off," I said coolly. I knew that was uncalled for the moment I said it, but I really couldn't help it. It's as if I'd lost control of my mouth. It just was saying whatever it wanted to—even when it wasn't true.

He stared at me and shook his head, "Whatever, Lily. Let me know when you finally know what you want, okay? But you can't expect me to keep waiting around—"

"Waiting around?" I snapped, "Is that what you call this? Waiting around? Making a move on me when you still have another girlfriend! Get over yourself, Potter! I could never date someone so egotistical!"

"Fine!" he yelled, "You know, maybe I could love Emmeline—particularly if I could ever like someone as heartless as you, Evans," he said wrathfully.

"I'm heartless! What do you think Emmeline would say if she knew you cheated on her with the girl you're supposedly in love with!"

"I'm not in love with you," he said coldly, "Not anymore."

"Good because I've _never_ been in love with you."

This was horrible. This entire conversation was absolutely awful. Why do I do this to myself? He was giving me such a glare that I began to feel the tears well up in my eyes. I turned away, "I should probably just go now. I think I'm done with rounds."

"Going to run away again, Evans?" he taunted.

I ignored him and stalked off.

Remember how I said I was pretty miserable earlier this week? Yeah. Well, that's nothing compared to how I feel right now. I wish I could've gone up to an empty dorm, but everyone was there, chatting about what they were doing in Hogsmeade tomorrow.

"You're done with rounds early, Lily," Mary noted as soon as I walked in.

"Do you know where Marlene is?" I asked tersely. Mary shook her head. She was giving me a calculating look so I determinedly looked away.

"Probably with Sirius," Jasmine said with a giggle. Selene, who'd been listening in, rolled her eyes.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Mary asked, looking concerned.

"No…I just need to…sleep, I think," I muttered, shutting my curtains. How had a simple conversation gotten so out of hand? And what had he meant when he'd asked if things had been different if he hadn't been dating Emmeline? He also said he didn't love me anymore, so I suppose it's a good thing that I never told him the truth.

Truth is, I think I had begun to fall in love with James Potter. That's why I couldn't be around him. I couldn't bear it if I had to be his friend and be in love with him. It would hurt too much, but I doubt he could understand that sort of feeling. I brushed away the tears and sat, listening to Mary's mindless chatter until I drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

I was not looking forward to Hogsmeade, but Marlene had gotten me up and ready all the same. We had our own carriage—I told her there was no way I was spending the day with Sirius. When she asked why, I just said I needed a girl's day. Thankfully, she agreed. I don't think I could be around the Marauders. Besides, I was sort of thinking about telling Marlene some of it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded after I bought a few large bars of Honeyduke's best chocolate. Yes, I spent my money I'd saved for Petunia's Christmas gift on chocolate. Should I feel bad about it? Perhaps. As of right now? I don't think so.

"Nothing…would you like a piece?" I asked, unwrapping a bar and breaking off a rather generous portion.

"This is getting ridiculous," she said, pulling me out of the bustling streets and into the quill shop.

"Why are we in here—"

"Because I need some answers, Lily," Marlene demanded as she pulled me into the nearly empty shop"I don't know how long you thought you could mope around before I started badgering, but I've had it up to here—" she said, raising her hand dramatically over her head.

That's when I started crying in the middle of the quill shop. I know, I know, how embarrassing and over dramatic. I honestly don't give a sickle anymore.

"Okay," Marlene said, nodding slowly, sounding rather alarmed that I'd burst into tears. She glanced around anxiously, "Er—sorry for yelling at you, but maybe now you can tell me why you're crying?" she asked sounding a bit hopeful.

"It's all because of stupid Potter," I said once I'd calmed myself down. I wiped the mascara that I'm sure was beginning to run, "It's just…I wasn't completely honest with you earlier," I admitted.

Marlene sighed, "I know, Lily. It's okay."

She knew? How did she know?

"How do you know?"

"I know when you're lying," she said, rolling her eyes in exasperation, "Now, I don't know what you're lying about. Sirius and I tried to get it out of James, Merlin knows how many times—"

"And he didn't say anything?"

"Nope, so we realized either you threatened him or it's a big deal—although I can't see what was that bad that you couldn't tell me—"

"He kissed me," I blurted out, "After the snowball fight," I explained. Marlene nodded, looking thoughtful, as if everything was clicking together now. Then, we ended up sitting in the corner of the quill shop eating chocolate as I retold the entire story of everything that had happened up to last night.

For awhile, she was silent, munching on her chocolate. Finally, she swallowed and looked at me, "You're the most ridiculous and daft witch I know, Lils," she sighed, "Aren't you supposed to be smart? You're Head Girl and everything, after all."

"Thanks," I muttered rather bitterly, "Really helpful. Don't you see how much chocolate I'm eating?" I said, shoving it towards her face. Marlene laughed.

"Lily, this is so easily sorted out. You just need to be honest with the bloke. You do realize that you both are doing the same—trying to protect yourself from rejection. Although, in James' defense, he does have a reason to expect rejection from you—"

"He said it himself, Marlene, he doesn't love me. It's fine. He's in love with Emmeline—"

Marlene snorted, "Trust me, he definitely is not. I think he's actually breaking up with her. I eavesdropped on him and Sirius," she admitted, "He was just waiting until after Hogsmeade because he didn't want to seem heartless."

"He called me heartless," I said in a small voice, remembering our fight from the night before.

Marlene gave me a long look and shook her head, "You are so pathetic," she said before enveloping me in a hug. I didn't cry anymore, but I did eat a lot more chocolate.

Everyone keeps thinking this is easily put right, but it isn't. Things are complicated, but I didn't say anything about that to Marlene. I think she might just go up to James and tell him everything herself if I said anything else along those lines. Instead, I let her complain about having Benjy as a Potions partner and how Sirius keeps trying to get her to do dumb pranks with him since James was bailing on him. It was nice. I didn't think about James for awhile, and I think Marlene was secretly missing me when I was busy being a recluse and hiding away from all the Marauders.

But if she thinks she's getting me to talk to James again, she's got another thing coming.

** A/N: Look at that! As an apology for my lack of updates, here's another one in less than a week! :) I know Lily is being frustrating, but hey, be patient. Haha...she'll come along.**


	23. Mistake 19: Failure at Eavesdropping

**XXIII. Mistake 19-Failure at Eavesdropping...Again**

Okay, well, I think it finally got around to Sirius that I wasn't going to his New Years bash (took him long enough).

"What is this I hear about you not coming over for New Years?" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I could almost feel his scowl as he stood behind me. Instead, I gave a small sigh of exasperation.

"What about it?" I asked, not bothering to glance up from my book. I had been sitting in the common room relaxing now that I had no more homework to do as we'd had our last day of classes, and I was heading home for the holidays soon.

"You cannot refuse to come," Sirius said crossly, "Besides, I have news for you," he announced in a smug tone.

"Do you?" I asked, turning the page of my novel.

"Mind feigning interest for a bit?"

"Fine," I said, putting my book down, "What is your news?"

"James is breaking up with Emmeline."

"I heard," I said coolly, "Is that all?"

"Is that—well, I expected a little bit more of gratitude," he said huffily, sitting on the armrest and nimbly plucking my book from my hands, "Come on Lily, I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I know you both fancy the pants off each other."

"False," I said, reaching for my book, "Do you mind?"

"Yes, actually I do," he said, frowning, "You won't come to my party and now you're being just plain ungrateful," he pouted.

"Listen—whatever that was—James and I—it's over. Now give me back—"

"You're such a bad liar, Evans. Haven't we already been over this?"

"No I'm not, just give me back—"

"You're acting like a first year. Calm down," he said, looking amused, "Promise you'll come to my party," he said, holding the book way above his head.

"I'm not going," I repeated stubbornly. When was he going to get that through his thick skull? Besides, he thinks I'm the one acting like a first year?

"Why? What else do you have planned on New Years?" he pouted.

"Family stuff," I said quickly, "Now—"

"Liar," Sirius sang, "Why aren't you really? Why am I asking? I already know the answer: _James_." He must have noticed me stiffen because he started laughing. I don't know why. None of this is very funny…not at all, "I spoke with Marlene. She told me you were doing everything possible to forget about the bloke. Apparently you two got into a row…care to explain?"

"No." I was going to kill Marlene. She told Sirius? He was Potter's best mate! What was she thinking? I should have known they'd be in cahoots together.

"Lily," he began.

"Why don't you go bother James?"

"I would but you are much more entertaining, I must say," his lips twitched as I gave him a very doubtful look, "Honestly? I'd have a black eye by this point if I was badgering Prongs. Trust me, I tried to figure out when you two had snogged—"

"He told you?" I asked furiously, "He promised!"

"No," Sirius smirked widely now, "However, _you_ just did. And to think, all this time, I thought you'd end up just as prudish as Emmeline! Merlin, Evans, do you just let anyone who wants to, snog you?"

It took me a moment to realize that he was joking. I smacked him in the arm, "Not funny," I muttered.

"Too soon?" he asked innocently, "Okay, okay, I'll play nice," he said with a deep sigh, "So I'm assuming he snogged—"

"It was just a small kiss," I muttered, "That's all."

"When?"

"I'm not telling you anything else," I snapped, feeling very irritable towards him. And he thought I was going to come to his party? Psh. We were so not mates anymore. (Not that we were previously anyway).

"Probably that one night when the two of you were acting weird. Then what happened? You became the turtle friend I never wanted." Er—what?

"The turtle friend?" I repeated in confusion. This boy just gets weirder and weirder.

"Yeah, hiding in its shell…I'm not stupid. McKinnon and I tried to figure out what was going on for ages—"

"It was only two weeks."

He glared at me for interrupting but continued smoothly as if I'd never spoken, "Like I said, we tried for ages and couldn't figure it out. Then Marlene came up to me this morning to tell me you were being stupid again."

"I'm not being stupid. I don't know why _you_ keep trying to impose. None of this is any of your business!"

"It is my business," Sirius corrected, "We've been over this," he said with the air of talking to a simple minded girl, "Now, you are going to come to my party and look dashing and impress James who will once again sweep you off your feet, and you'll live happily ever after. Okay?"

"No," I said, managing to rip my book from his hands at last.

"Lilllly!" he cried, "What else can I say to convince you? I'll buy you chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate—"

"Why are you buying her chocolate?" asked James interrupting us. He had approached us so silently that not even sneaky Sirius Black heard him. I coughed awkwardly, and Sirius immediately quit his dramatic act, lowering his wild arm gestures. I took this as my opportunity to try and sneak away.

"Oh, trying to convince her to come to my party, right Lily?" he said, looking around for me. I'd made it behind both him and James but apparently not fast enough.

I froze and forced a smile, "Not happening, as you know, _Black_," I said attempting to keep my voice as light and friendly as possible. I was determined not to lose my temper this time, "Hello James," I added with a small nod. I think he was still mad at me because he just nodded coolly back.

"How'd it go?" Sirius asked. I really didn't want to be part of this conversation, "I hope you don't mind but I told Lily here," he said, dragging me back towards them as I tried to slip away, "Perhaps the two of you want to talk?"

"I don't think so, Sirius," James said, giving him a rather severe look.

"Er—fine," Sirius sighed, "No one ever listens to me anymore. The world would be such a better place if they did—"

I couldn't help it, I snorted. I know, I know unladylike and all that, but Sirius—I wouldn't trust him to buy my groceries let alone advise me on relationships.

"Hm...whatever you say Padfoot," James said, his lips also twitching, "Well, I still need to finish packing," he paused before leaving, "And Evans," he said turning to me for a moment, "Don't let me stop you from going to Sirius' party."

I watched him walk away and disappear upstairs, feeling absolutely furious. How _dare_ he insinuate...the nerve of him! Sirius, however, looked pleased.

"See? There, now you have to come—" he began happily.

"Excuse me," I said, pushing past him without a backward glance.

"Wait, Evans, hold on—"

I ignored him and made my way up towards the boy's dormitory. I know I'm not allowed in there, but if James Potter thought he was going to get away with a comment like that-well, he had another thing coming! I flung open the door, feeling thankful only James was in there, unfastening his cloak.

"Evans?" he questioned, looking surprised. Psh. As if he didn't know I was about to come up and yell at him for his...impudence! Why did he always have to be such a prat!

"Don't even start to give me such…such…arrogance! You really think _you're _the reason I don't want to go to Sirius' party! You're so full of yourself, Potter!" I spat. I don't know why, but this felt good...refreshing almost. It felt good to yell at him. It was sort of like it used to be, "I'm sick of you going around acting as if you're so superior. You know there's plenty other blokes that would like to be with me besides you! So I don't care if you're with Emmeline or not! It doesn't matter!"

Okay, okay, so he might be right. Maybe he is the reason I'm not going to Sirius' bloody party, but I really don't want him thinking so highly of himself. Besides, even if he did know, he didn't need to rub it in my face!

"I'm really not in the mood for this, Evans," he said furiously, "I just broke up with my girlfriend as Sirius so kindly informed you, so why don't you bugger off?"

"You want me to…oh hell, you know, you don't seem to care what you say to people anymore do you! You want me to be honest, well; you need to try being bloody honest every once in awhile!"

"You don't think I'm honest?" he spat, "What about before Emmeline and I was dating? What then? I just didn't seem eligible? That wasn't honest enough for you? Did you not listen to me when I said how much I liked you? Or were you just ignoring me? You're pretty good at that, Evans. Ignoring things or problems or people! Just run away, right? Isn't that always the answer?"

"You're such a prat!" I yelled furiously. I went to smack him, but he caught my wrist and glared. Stupid seeker reflexes.

"I'm really not in the mood, Lily."

"Lily? Or Evans? Pick one, Potter," I said, pulling my wrist away, frowning deeply at him. He turned and stepped away.

"Fine, _Evans_," he said coldly, "Do you mind? I actually have something to do," he snapped angrily.

"Fine! I just wanted you to know that you were _not_ the reason I'm not going to Sirius' party!"

"Good!" he yelled back, "What are you doing instead?"

"I'm—" I broke off. I really should have thought about this beforehand. "Er—I've got plans with my family," I said hurriedly.

He looked at me for a moment and then, to my utmost surprise, he laughed. _Really_? This was so not funny. "You're such a _bad _liar, Evans."

Er—okay?

"Why do you keep lying?" he asked in a serious tone. At least he wasn't yelling anymore. Actually, I sort of wish we were yelling. I don't mind that. I can always yell louder than him, so then I still feel like I've won—even if I haven't. Now he's giving me that half amused, half exasperated look that I feel like everyone is giving me these days.

"I'm not lying," I said immediately.

He sighed, "It doesn't work to say that when you're rubbish at lying," he explained as if I were some dimwitted first year. I really don't appreciate that. I realize I'm rubbish at lying but what does he expect me to say? The truth? Psh.

"I'm not—" I broke off, "Fine—I'm rubbish at lying."

"Okay, now why are you really not going to Sirius' party?"

"It's none of your business," I said, "But I just didn't want your ego to swell even more by letting you believe that rubbish about _you_ being the reason for me not wanting to come. Things don't revolve around you," I snapped.

"Fine. You're right," he said shrugging, "Now do you mind?"

I suddenly felt extremely foolish, "Yeah, fine," I nodded. There was a long pause in which we just stared at each other. Feeling the need to fill the silence I added, "Er—well, sorry about you and Emmeline, by the way." Of course, I wasn't sorry, but I wasn't happy either so it's close enough.

"Yeah, it doesn't change anything though, does it?" he asked, sounding bitter.

"What do you mean?"

"You still hate me."

"I don't hate you," I said, frowning.

"Did you miss these last few minutes, Evans?" he asked, looking incredulous.

"No…just because I was yelling at you…you just…you make me so furious sometimes."

James just smiled weakly, "Fine, you don't hate me. I don't hate you. Just…make it to Sirius' party, yeah? He'll be really disappointed otherwise, I think."

"Okay, well," I shrugged, "I'll think about it."

"Alright," he said with a nod, "Happy Christmas Lily."

I nodded back, "Happy Christmas James," I said before leaving his room. I closed the door and leaned against once it snapped shut. I let out a heavy sigh and glanced back at the closed door for a moment.

Well. That was weird.

Following the strangest fight I've ever had with James, came a stroke of luck. (This is rare, I'm never very lucky). I didn't see him again before heading back home. I think it was better that way. Otherwise I probably would have been eaten alive by my conscious and give him some silly apology. Or worse, my feelings might just have spilled out as all my words seem to be doing lately. In other words, I avoided complete disaster-which as everyone is beginning to realize, it isn't very habitual. Regardless, I couldn't tell if he was still angry with me or just sick of fighting and deciding to appease me. Hm.

Either way, I suppose it's good. I haven't decided what I'm doing about New Years yet. I did have an awkward run in with Selene and Emmeline on the train. Marlene had been in the bathroom and they'd opened my compartment.

"Oops," Emmeline said then she realized it was me and she froze. We stared at each other for a long moment until Selene stuck her head in.

"Oh, Lily," Selene said, equally surprised.

"Er—hello," I said. I wanted to say something mean or sarcastic such as 'Heard about the break up. Pity it didn't work out.' In hindsight, it's probably fortunate that I didn't. Instead, they just stood there for a moment, and I stared back.

"We're just looking for a compartment," Selene explained one she found her voice, "But…um…have a good holiday, Lily," she said, giving me a shifty look as she looked between me and Emmeline. Ack. I can't even bear to stand the sight of her (Emmeline that is).

"Yeah, you too," I said, staring at the pair of them. They both looked embarrassed as they closed the door.

Well our friendship had crumbled pathetically. I really wanted to say something else to Selene, but I couldn't find the words. Marlene made it clear that she could care less about the situation, but Marlene tends to hold grudges, so I don't think she'll be getting over that anytime soon. Not without a proper apology, and if I'm honest with myself, it probably won't happen.

Marlene came back, and I didn't mention Selene's accidental visit (I wanted to have an enjoyable train ride). Marlene spent the entire train ride trying to convince me to go to Sirius' party. I just shrugged and tried to blow it off. I know I won't be getting off that easy, but it's nice to hope.

Either way, it was nice to be home and away from the drama of Hogwarts…sort of. Petunia was busy getting things ready for her wedding. My dad was going crazy with all the wedding planning, so I think he was relieved to have someone at home besides Petunia and my mum—all they talk about is the bloody wedding.

I know, I'm a girl, so I guess I'm supposed to like this sort of stuff but after three days of talking about the sort of lace she was going to get to match the doilies, I thought I was going to curse my mum and Petunia.

That's when my father suggested I have a bit of a break (bless the man). I wasn't hesitant to say the least. The next day, I owled Marlene, and we agreed to meet up in Diagon Alley. We said we'd meet a Flourish and Blotts (I needed new quills) around lunch time and then I suppose I had to buy Petunia a Christmas present (I had money left over since I never did buy Selene a Christmas gift). My mum was happy that I was getting out of sight because apparently I've been 'messing with Tunney's nerves'. Whatever that means. All I said was that the napkins looked a different shade of pink and she completely lost it. Petunia's a bit mad, but at least now I'm not the only one who thinks so. Dad agrees with me.

Anyway, I made my way the muggle way with my father- he had to go downtown to his office anyway. That's when I nearly walked in on a James and Emmeline reunion in the Leaky Cauldron.

You can just imagine my reaction.

Remember when I was saying I was over James and we would never be together? Well, that was a lie! I was just upset. In fact, I'd been thinking a lot over break about him. I nearly sent him a letter but being the cowardly Gryffindor I am, I never did. I reckoned that he needed a bit of time after breaking up with Emmeline-I didn't want to be a rebound for Godric's sake!

You think that would be something a bloke would realize. I mean, everyone says it's obvious I fancy him-so why the hell is he drooling over Emmeline Vance? He broke up with her! He kissed me! Me! Lily Evans! In the snow! Hm...I wonder if she knew that?

Either way, somehow I found myself sneaking into a booth behind them and spying on the 'happy couple' in the Leaky Cauldron. Well, I'm using the term couple very loosely. They weren't exactly acting like a couple. It's not like they were holding hands or anything. In fact, James almost looked annoyed...unless I'm imagining that. Emmeline...well, she just looks perfect as usual. I wonder what would happen if I used a frizz charm on her hair? Does that sort of hex even exist? Hmm...

Marlene is going to kill me for being late.

Or possibly not showing?

Oops.

Hopefully she'll understand. I mean, I couldn't just ignore this opportunity. The fact that they were here at the exact same time as me...well, it had to be fate...or something.

So yes, I tucked myself in a booth and tried to lean as close to them as possible. You see, they were murmuring. It was really difficult. They'd been talking for almost an hour, but all I got was a bit of Emmeline's sobbing. I could only hear what she was saying when she began to get hysterical which wasn't really intelligible either. I wonder if James could understand her because I certainly couldn't. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear what James was saying either. I don't think he was saying very much however. He just kept nodding a lot from my point of view.

"I just...I've really missed you," I caught Emmeline say. She sounded very emotional. She must've just quit it with the water works.

Urgh. Gag me.

"I got you something," she said brightly (and rather loudly). I tried to peek around the booth, making sure to hold the menu close to my face, only allowing my eyes to peek over the top. Well, the bleeding gift was wrapped, of course. I bent a little bit more over the edge, trying to get a decent view. Ack. Stupid Potter. Why couldn't he move his gift a bit more to the right when he unwrapped it so I could see it properly? That's when a not-so-brilliant idea occurred to me. Magic.

Now, magic does many wonderful things. It can heal people. It transfigures and charms. It can create wonderful spells, but (in my case) it can also make you look like an absolute fool. I attempted to levitate his gift into my line of vision. I only planned to move it a little to the right—he wouldn't have even have noticed (trust me, I'm excellent at Charms).

That's when a voice interrupted me-rudely may I add.

"Lily Evans!"

That led to me toppling out of my seat, my wand taking a sharp descent along with me...as did Potter's stupid gift.

Apparently it was something breakable. Er—oops?

Emmeline screamed while James and Marlene cursed. (Yes. Marlene had found me). Me? I sort of laid there, sprawled on the floor, frozen in shock. Merlin-I need to get better reflexes. If I'm in a crisis situation, I don't want to stand there and gape at them like a fish! Maybe I should ask James for some seeker lessons-only if I could remain on the ground though. Well...argh! Focus!

"What are you doing?" Marlene demanded at me, "And what are you two doing here?" she snapped at James and Emmeline.

"Your present!" Emmeline cried, ignoring Marlene completely.

"Marlene?" James asked in confusion, "Lily?" he added, looking at me on the ground, "Why are you on the floor—?"

"Get up," Marlene snapped in exasperation.

"It's ruined," Emmeline continued to wail. I looked around. There were broken shards of glass and weird white flakes scattered across the floor. Er-what the hell was that supposed to be anyway? Emmeline was quick to answer my unvoiced question, "It was a crystal ball. I charmed it myself," she sniffed, "It was of Hogwarts, and it had us skating out on the ice...remember that?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

Oh please. Like he was going to fall for that...

"Hey, Em," he said, giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, "It was wonderful," he assured her. Emmeline nodded, shooting me the most horrible glare. James wasn't daft; he noticed. "It was an accident," he explained, "And you know, it's always the thought that counts," he said, smiling at her.

"Yes, well," she sniffed, still looking at me and Marlene with her dirtiest glare, "What a surprise to see you here Lily...been here long?"

"No," I said quickly, "Not too long."

Marlene snorted, and James even looked skeptical.

"Not _eavesdropping_ were we?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

"No!" I said hotly.

I couldn't. They weren't talking loud enough.

"Well," Emmeline gave us a haughty look and turned around, "We should probably get back to our lunch."

"Yeah...we have shopping to do," I said, gesturing to Marlene. I was still sitting on the floor, I realized. I hastily got to my feet.

"Still Christmas shopping?" James asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Er—yes, some people are difficult to shop for," I said, but I wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying. I was just staring at him. Emmeline noticed because she coughed loudly and tugged on James' arm. I blinked and looked away. Marlene was frowning beside me as she asked.

"I thought you just needed quills?"

"Shut up, Marlene," I hissed, "Er—we'll see you guys later," I said quickly, "Bye James, bye Emmeline. So sorry about the snowball thing," I added, giving her an awkward, short wave.

Emmeline's lips pursed like Petunia's (again...I really hated when she did that), "Hm."

"Accidents happen," James said, nodding.

It was actually an accident although I know Emmeline will never believe me.

Besides, snow was my thing with James. Or-it was. For maybe half a second. Argh. If they get together, I really will end up a bitter hag.

Marlene, thankfully, pulled me out of there and into the crowded streets of Diagon Alley before I did something else equally idiotic.

"What was that?" she demanded, "Do you realize I was waiting for you for over an hour? What were you trying to do? Be a spy?"

Psh. Me a spy? Never.

"It was...never mind."

"Don't 'never mind' me," she said sharply, "What were you doing?"

"Failing at eavesdropping," I sighed and linked my arms with hers as we walked down Diagon Alley.

"Hm," she looked pensive, "Well, what are you going to do now?"

"Me? Well, I know _we_ are going to go find him a bloody present. Preferably one better than that blasted snowball," I said, smirking slightly.

Marlene smirked back, "Good. That's the Lily I thought I knew," she said looking, pleased, "It was about time you started acting reasonably sane," she laughed.

Hmpf. Right. Winter Break couldn't end soon enough.

...

And what in the name of Merlin did she mean by 'reasonably sane'?

**A/N: Thank you all for your lovely reviews. I so enjoy reading them! :)**


	24. Mistake 20: Enlisting in the Help

**XXIV. Mistake 20-Enlisting in the Help of Sirius Black**

I thought it would be easier. Picking out the perfect Christmas present. As it turns out, Marlene wasn't as helpful as I thought she would be.

"You could buy him a cleaning kit for his broom?" she suggested as we passed Quality Quidditch Supplies. I gave her a dirty look, and she sighed, "Fine, you can just buy him a new broom then."

I'm never bringing her along to help with shopping ever again. I was thinking of buying him a nice book, but then Marlene convinced me that it was completely lame. I'm terrible at picking out gifts. I know. I thought it would be easy, but then I began to realize-what do you get a guy who already has everything? Exactly.

That led me to the unfortunate situation I was in now. Mopping around my house and asking my mum what I should get him. She suggested a nice watch. My dad suggested a good old pipe, and Petunia, well, you can imagine she wasn't much help. She said she had no idea what freaks like me are supposed to receive as gifts. Tunney...always a bundle of sunshine, that girl.

As they say, desperate times ask for desperate measures. I feel like I may come to regret this. I've come to regret many things, and I know I said I would never even trust him to buy my groceries but...alas. Yes, I did ask for the help of Sirius Black.

Call me crazy (Marlene already does), but I have a feeling this might be something he may be helpful in.

One could consider this rather valiant of me-I'm swallowing my pride (enough) to actually ask Sirius Black for something. I know, I know, he thinks we're mate, but in reality, I think it's all a ruse so I would end up doing something stupid like this: trusting him.

Well, I must say, he responded very quickly to my letter. I was helping my mum bake a batch of her eclairs (Vernon was coming for dinner that night...unfortunately) when the doorbell rang.

"It must be Vernon! He's early" Petunia said, setting down her magazine and then turning towards me, "Oy, freak, at least pretend to be normal for a few hours tonight."

"Petunia!" my mother scolded, frowning deeply. I just stuck my tongue out at Petunia's back. We both ignored our mother's muttered reprimands. Ah. Home sweet home.

"Oh...hello," Petunia's voice carried to the kitchen, unnaturally high, "Lily?" she said, "Are you sure you don't have the wrong house? There's no Lily Evans here-" she began.

I immediately rushed over, "Who's at the door Petunia?" I said, nearly falling over my feet as I pushed her out of the small crack she'd made in the door, "Black?" I said in surprise to see the handsome teenage boy leaning in my doorway.

"Hello there, Evans," he said winking, "You called?"

I snorted, "Petunia, do you mind?"

She just huffed and turned on her heel, heading back towards the kitchen.

"That's your sister?" he asked, leaning against the door-frame with raised eyebrows. I nodded. "Delightful," he added, smirking, "Well, are you going to invite me in? Or am I supposed to stand here-dashingly of course-"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, of course. Listen, I wasn't expecting you to come," I began, frowning slightly, "I thought you were going to write me back. You know, like a normal person."

"What fun would that be?" he asked, walking into my living room, "Hmm, I learned about that telly thing in Muggle Studies...how do you turn it on?" he asked, pulling out his wand and tapping it lightly.

"With the remote...Sirius, can you focus?" I added, trying to digest the strange fact that Sirius Black had shown up and was now standing in my living room.

"Of course," he said, smiling brightly, "What's a remote?"

I ignored him, "Listen, I'm assuming James told you about...er...the little run in we had in the Leaky Cauldron-"

Sirius burst out laughing, "Hilarious that was! Emmeline was furious with you by the way. You totally ruined their lunch. Very nice, Evans. I didn't think you had it in you..."

"It wasn't intentional," I said, rolling my eyes, "I was supposed to meet Marlene...never mind. That's not important. The reason I sent you the letter in the first place, if you remember, was because-"

"It smells delicious," he said, sniffing, "What is that?" he asked, letting the scent lead him into the kitchen.

"Sirius!" I said exasperatedly, following him into my kitchen. My mum looked surprised when the two of us appeared.

"Well, hello there."

"You must be Mrs. Evans," Sirius said nodding, "Like mother, like daughter," he said, beaming at her, "Gorgeous...and you have such a lovely home," he added with politeness I didn't know he possessed.

"Why thank you," she said, beaming back, "And you must be one of Lily's friends?"

"Mum, this is Sirius Black."

My mum giggled. I stared at her, "Oh yes," she said smiling, "Lily has told me so much about you." She glanced at me, "This was one of the troublemakers, wasn't that right dear?" I nodded glumly, "Handsome too," she added in a whisper behind her hand. I rolled my eyes as Sirius chuckled beside me.

"Yes Mum, if you'll excuse us-"

"Are those eclairs?" he asked. He glanced at me, "Are these the ones Marlene is always raving about?"

"Er-yes but-"

"Oh, you know Lily's friend Marlene? Isn't she sweet?" my mother asked, positively gushing. I sat down at the counter as I rolled my eyes and rested my chin on my hand. "Elbows off the counter, dear," my mother said without glancing at me, "Here Sirius, you must try one," my mother said, handing him one.

"Mmhm...it tastes like heaven, Mrs. Evans."

Sirius Black is flirting with my mother. I think I'm going to be sick. The worst thing is my mother is acting like a giggling schoolgirl. Petunia, thankfully, isn't taken in by Sirius. While he is leaning over the kitchen counter telling her some story about a prank they pulled in fourth year, Petunia whispered in my ear.

"Is that your boyfriend?"

Inwardly, I cursed. Even my own sister has thought that I've dated Sirius Black. I mean, I think it's obvious that he isn't my type. "No," I said shortly.

"Oh," she looks smug, "I didn't think so. I can't imagine you snagging anyone _that_ attractive."

Great. I was about to retort when Sirius had pulled me by the elbow. "She's in love with James Potter, as I'm sure she's told you," he was saying, "So I'm on damage control as usual."

"Black," I hissed.

"James Potter," my mother said in surprise, "Isn't that the boy you said you absolutely loathe? Actually, I remember a few years ago when you asked if you could get a restraining order against him since he kept sending you all those letters," she laughed, "I remember all the owl droppings...remember Petunia? You were so angry," she said with a pleasant chuckle at the memory. Both Petunia and I did not look very happy. Sirius noticed and cleared his throat.

"Well, as I said, Lily and I need to chat. It was such a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Evans."

"Oh the pleasure is all mine," she beamed, "And you know, you can take this batch of eclairs-"

"Mum!" Petunia whined, "Those are for Vernon-"

"Vermin?" Sirius asked innocently.

"I'll make more dear," mother said soothingly, "Don't worry about it Sirius, dear. You two enjoy yourselves," she said happily as I began to drag him out of the kitchen after he had taken the platter of eclairs.

"Mar was so right," Sirius said, popping one in his mouth, "Delicious!" he said, swallowing.

I sighed and pointed towards the door as I grabbed my jacket, "We're going to go on a walk."

He looked amused, "Yes, Mademoiselle," he said with an exaggerated bow. I ignored him and led the way outside.

"I can't believe you," I said shaking my head, "Was all of that necessary?"

"Yes," he said, grinning, "By the way, now that time when James got chased by the muggle police...it makes so much more sense!" he said with an appreciative chuckle, "Wait til I tell him..."

"Can you not?" I snapped irritably.

He just grinned at me charmingly, "Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Now what is it you need? To buy Prongs a present?"

"Yes," I said, feeling relieved that we were finally getting down to something important, "Marlene and I were shopping all day yesterday-which was a disaster-and I thought since you and him are best friends and all..."

"You thought I'd be able to help you with a gift idea," he said, nodding.

"Exactly," I said, smiling at him.

He nodded, looking thoughtful, "Hm. No can do."

"Yeah...wait, what?"

"How should I know? The only thing we get each other are Zonko products, and I don't think that's what you had in mind."

"But-well...if you can't help me, why are you even here?"

"I was bored," he said, shrugging, "James had to go Christmas shopping with his mum. I skipped out..." he grinned, "I suppose I could ask him what he'd like to get from you-"

"Don't," I interrupted, "That's a horrible idea."

He shrugged.

"Well, what would you like your girlfriend to get you?" I asked. After all, they were similar enough.

He smirked, "Lily. I don't have steady girls. Certainly none of them have ever given me a gift...anyway," he shrugged, "James will love whatever you get him. As long as..."

"As long as what?" I asked, frowning.

He gave me a look, "As long as you don't mess it all up again."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I demanded hotly. I knew what it meant. It meant I had a habit of messing everything up when it came to me and James. I liked him, and he liked me...why was everything so complicated? I pondered this for a good minute, forgetting about Sirius.

"So what are you getting me for Christmas?" he asked, changing the subject.

I just raised my eyebrows and shook my head, giving him a slight shove, "You're completely useless, you know that?"

"So I've been told," he said dryly. I frowned and was about to say something else, "You shouldn't buy him something," he said, looking thoughtful, "He doesn't need another broomstick kit or more fireworks..."

"Or a book," I added, nodding along with him. He stared at me.

"You were seriously going to get him a book?" he asked in disbelief, "You're worse than Moony."

"It was about Quidditch!" I said in defense. Sirius still looked skeptical.

"Well, as long as you don't get him a book, I'm sure he'll like whatever you get him," he said, smirking, "I better be off. Vermin is coming for dinner, don't forget," he added with a sly grin.

"You're so funny," I said sarcastically, although I was grinning, "Well, thanks for coming and eating my mum's eclairs. Real helpful," I added sarcastically.

"Any time," he said, smirking, "See you," he said apparating before I could say anything. Was he completely daft? I glanced down the street anxiously, thankful that no one was around. Breathing a sigh of relief, I headed back to my house, not feeling any better about the gift I needed to come up with in the next few days.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sirius and Marlene were useless. That's okay, I think I've come up with something decent.

Remus helped me actually. I'd owled him about my whole debacle, and unlike Sirius, he responded like a normal bloke. He responded with a letter (including a list of ideas). The thing is, he had some many great ideas that I've decided to combine the lot of them.

That's right, I'm getting James Potter a gift basket.

I had to ask my mum for some spare pocket change because quite honestly, it was out of my budget, but she understood after I'd explained it all to her. She agreed with everyone else-I'd screwed up royally and had to do something to fix the mess I'd gotten in. My father just frowned behind his newspaper and told me I shouldn't be dating anyway.

Well that's just silly. I didn't say that though. He's just on edge because Petunia's all engaged now, and he thinks she'll never visit.

Which she probably won't.

But that's besides the point.

The point is I've nearly finished it. It's got everything: tickets for us to go see the Wasps, a scarf I'm going to pretend I hand-knitted (I did the corner and tied the knot...truth is, I'm horrid at knitting. My mum loves it though...but hey, it's Gryffindor colors), and I even got to put the Quidditch book I wanted to get him inside of it (Remus thought it was a good idea). Psh. Sirius Black knows nothing.

Anyway, I was trying to write a proper letter to go with my gift basket. Currently, it looked something like this:

_James,_

_Happy Christmas._

Yeah...so I wasn't sure what else to write. Figuring that was good enough, I signed my name with a flourish and stuffed it in the gift basket before I wrote something that would just make me seem even more pathetic than I was. I written 'From'._ From_. Is that lame? I couldn't well enough write 'Love'. That's just moving too quickly. Especially if there's an off chance that he's got feelings for Emmeline (urgh...). Anyway, I was going to send it to him eventually...I hadn't gotten around to it when he sent me a letter.

**Lily,**

**Hope your break is going well. I know tomorrow is Christmas Eve, but I was hoping I could stop by. I wanted to chat if that's alright. Would 2 o'clock work? Let me know.**

**Always,**

**James**

'Always'? What did that mean? That meant he fancied me, right?

"Mum!" I called, "Mum!" I said running down the stairs into the living room where my family was sitting. Petunia glared at me. They were pouring over magazines.

"Yes dear?" she asked, "Ooh, Petunia that one is pretty."

"James wants a chat! And he signed his letter 'Always'! What does that even mean?"

"Er-the opposite of never, isn't that right, darling?" my father asked from his armchair. My mother gave him a stern look, setting the magazines.

"Lily, I think it means he likes you. You're lucky. After you treated the poor boy so horribly..."

"Mum," I said, rolling my eyes.

This was the last time I told my mum anything.

"He wants to come over tomorrow."

"Why, we are just getting to see all your little friends this Christmas," she said brightly, "How wonderful."

"You need to make more of those eclairs," I said anxiously, "It's part of my present."

"Of course," she said, smiling, "But I can't tomorrow."

"Wha-why not?"

"Well, I have to go dress fitting with Petunia tomorrow. And tonight your father and I are visiting that friend of ours out in the city. We haven't seen them in years, isn't that right Patrick?" she asked, turning to my father.

"Yes, yes," he said, glancing up from his paper, "Well, we really must get ready. Dressed to impress and such."

"But-but Mum, I _need_ these eclairs!"

My mother gave me an exasperated look, "Well, you're seventeen years old, Lily. I'm sure you can make them yourself. The recipe is in the recipe box."

I stared at her. She couldn't be serious. She just couldn't.

Well, she was.

Now I had to figure out how to bake my mum's famous eclairs before 2 o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

**A/N: This was a bit of a filler chapter but that's okay because I'm hoping the next chapter will be really entertaining! :)  
**


	25. My Mistakes not so Mistaken?

**XXV. My Mistakes not so Mistaken?**

You know when you want something to be absolutely perfect—and how you'll go by any possible means to make it so?

Yes, well all my hard work has gone down the drain.

It's past two o'clock and James isn't even _here_.

Everything is a mess.

My éclairs are beyond salvation.

The smell of burnt hair is plaguing my nostrils.

And Vernon Dursley is trying to kick me out of my sister's wedding.

What the hell?

From the beginning, everything was bound to deteriorate into absolute chaos as soon as I was left alone in the kitchen. Now, I know I'm not the world's baker, but with my mum's recipe (and some magic), I figured I would be able to manage.

Honestly! I'm not a failure when it comes to baking and cooking—I can fend for myself in the kitchen (despite what Petunia might say about my domestic skills—hey, using magic _does_ count!).

The problem was my alarm didn't go off to begin with. I had planned to get up early to make sure everything went just right—well, that idea was shot, so I jumped in the shower, realizing I only had a few hours or so before James would show up. I should have realized then that things weren't going to go 'smoothly'.

You see, my mother had written "secret ingredient" on her recipe card under the list of different ingredients I needed. I frowned, wondering what on earth could be her secret ingredient. I called my aunt, but she said she hated baking and that it'd be best to wait until my mum came home.

Yeah. Thanks Aunt Linda for nothing.

Instead, I figured I'd add extra chocolate. That couldn't harm it—everything was better with chocolate. Content, I figured they'd turn out fabulously nonetheless. At this point I was still convinced it was going to go according to plan. That was, until someone knocked on the door while I attempted to properly whip something. Where was my stupid wand?

At first, I thought it was James and that he was early. I nearly fainted. Not really, but I had to remember how to breathe properly before I answered the door—he wasn't supposed to be here for another half an hour!

"Ja—er—Vernon?" I said in surprise, opening the door to none other than Petunia's fiancé, "You know Mum and Petunia are out…come back around five…they'll be back before dinner—which isn't until seven," I reminded.

He ignored me and entered into our living room. I never did like that boy. He was so rude.

"I know Petunia's not here…" he gave me a haughty look, "That's why I'm here."

I didn't know what to say, so I just continued to look at him quizzically.

"You know," he began slowly, taking off his hat. Merlin's beard, was he already balding? That had to be a receding hair line… "This wedding is very important to Petunia," he was saying, "And I wouldn't want anything to ruin it."

I nodded in agreement, unsure what he was doing. He really was wasting valuable minutes. Did he not realize I was on a time crunch?

"That's why I'm officially uninviting you," he announced, eyeing me beadily.

I blinked, "Er—what?" First of all, could he even do that? Secondly, could he have picked a more inconvenient time than _Christmas Eve_? I knew he was a git from the beginning. "I don't think you have the right to—"

"Petunia loathes you," he said cutting me off abruptly, "And I see no need to taint her day with _your _presence. Obviously, it would be better for everyone involved if you were just out of the picture."

I blinked, still trying to properly absorb what he was saying. He couldn't kick me out of my sister's wedding! "I don't think that's possible," I said slowly, "As I'm a bridesmaid—Petunia's already gotten me a hideous dress and everything!"

"You won't be missed," he said coldly, "Trust me," he was being more venomous then I believed possible. Finally, he leaned forward and said in a whisper (despite the fact that no one else was here), "I know what you are."

Oh please.

"Yeah? And? Listen, mister. You and Petunia aren't married yet. I'm going to her bleeding wedding unless she gets the nerve to uninvited me herself. Despite our disagreements, she is still my sister. You're…you're a toerag for trying to convince me to not attend my own sister's wedding!"

"A toerag," he sneered, "You're a freak," he shook his head, "Just like Petunia always says."

I had half the nerve to hex him…or maybe slap him. My wand was upstairs, but my fingers were itching for it terribly, "Listen, walrus boy," I said in a low voice, "You're right, I am a witch. Do you know how easy it would be for me to turn you into a toad? Or a rat?"

Okay, well this was false. As well all know, I'm horrible at human Transfiguration, but he doesn't need to know that. I could hex him until he was twisted like a pretzel though. Hmmm. Tempting.

Vernon Dursely turned a ghostly white at this. He seemed to have lost speech. He tried to stutter something before turning out back towards the door. He paused in the doorway and managed to yell, "You're still uninvited!...Freak!" before hurrying out as fast as his thick legs would carry him. Urgh. Pathetic.

Yet, I suddenly felt terribly sad. I sunk on the couch, feeling the tears prickling my eyes. After all, no matter how much Petunia and I fight, I always wanted to have that close, sisterly relationship that we'd once had. I know, that was over seven years ago now—nearly half my life. How could she not want me at her own wedding? The very thought seemed to send me over the edge, so I sat there in my misery for who knows how long until the grandfather clock rang. I sat up. I still had to get ready—and cook the éclairs! James could be here…well, now.

I threw the dough into the oven and grabbed my wand. I only thought I'd speed up the process a bit. I'd done this loads of times when cooking—I hadn't thought much about it. Then I dashed upstairs to fix my hair and add a touch of makeup. After all, I was going to try and practically seduce the boy into loving me again. I put on a cute sweater dress that was green—festive and accentuating my eyes, I thought as I curled my hair perfectly.

Glancing at my watch, I hurried downstairs—I was late, but at least he was late as well. That gave me a few more minutes to spare…The éclairs would be done by now and he was going to here any minute—I froze at the steps. Was something burning?

I dashed into the kitchen and couldn't help the scream I emitted. "Shit!" I yelled, "Shit, shit, shit!" I said, running around the kitchen. Flames were spurting from the oven as I tried to put it out with towels. I nearly cried when one of my curls caught on fire and I threw my head under the faucet.

Oh for the love of Godric! I was a witch, wasn't I? I picked up my wand and set out the fire, wanting to cry. I finally pulled out the éclairs which were now were burnt, charcoal rounds stuck to the baking sheet.

This had to be the worst surprise ever.

Now here I am, waiting, looking an absolute mess without any éclairs.

I sincerely think the fates are out to get me.

I could make a nice list of everything that went wrong—especially when it needed to be perfect. How was I supposed to make James fall in love with me when I looked like a complete train wreck? Maybe it doesn't even matter. He isn't here. He probably wasn't coming. I slunk against the counter. God this was depressing. I didn't even have the motivation to try and clean it up now.

"Lily?" I heard a voice coming from the living room, "Hello?" he called.

I still looked like a drowned rat and the smell of burnt hair continued to linger in the kitchen, "Wait!" I called desperately. Where did I put my wand? Maybe I could dry my hair—?

"Lily?" his voice was closer now—as in the kitchen closer. I turned around, my elbow hitting the bag of flower as I grabbed my wand.

I was just asking for disaster, wasn't I? I let out a shriek in surprise at the sight of him, and my wand sparked, sent the flour everywhere—not only on myself, but James as well, I realized, once I'd blinked it all from my eyes.

That's it. That's when I just started crying.

James was alarmed, "Er—Lily? Why…are you alright?" he asked, concerned, "It's just a bit of flour," he tried to assure me.

"I ruined it all!" I cried. I didn't care that I sounded like a blubbering idiot. It didn't matter anymore. Everything was ruined. This seemed to be the pattern of my life recently, mistake after mistake after mistake…

"Shh," he said, coming towards me and putting an arm around my shoulders, "Why are you wet?" he asked, looking very confused as he stared at me, then around at the disastrous kitchen.

I sniffed, "My hair set on fire."

He laughed and quickly stifled it at my expression, "Er—that's the smell, is it?" Great. That made me want to cry even more. He seemed to realize that his comment was insensitive because he coughed and asked, "Er—what happened in here…if you don't mind me asking."

I sagged against the counter and sighed, "It was part of your gift basket."

He looked even more confused, "Gift basket?"

"Yeah…I was trying to win you back with Quidditch tickets, sugar quills, weird Zonko stuff, and chocolate éclairs," I said miserably, "Oh and a book," I added.

"You got me Quidditch tickets?"

"Yeah…well, only one," I said dejectedly, "I have the other one, but I can't imagine you're going to want to sit next to me for an entire match now..."

"Why?" he asked, obviously bewildered. I stared up at him. Why was he so handsome? I wonder what he would do if I kissed him. He was still covered in flour…oh god…my thoughts fell back into misery.

"Why?" I asked incredulously, "Can you not see me right now? I just sprayed you with a sack of flour!"

He grinned, "You've done worse."

I stared. He had to be joking, "I'm wet, my hair is burnt, I'm covered in flour, I just set my kitchen on fire, and I have no éclairs to show for it!"

"Yes, well," he smiled that lopsided smile, "I don't happen to care much about the state of your kitchen. Besides, I'm covered in flour too, and I don't think that makes me unattractive…and you know I think you're beautiful," he tugged on the curl with the singed edges, "no matter what."

I nearly melted into him right there. Instead, I did the more unlady like thing. I threw myself on him. I think he was surprised, but he reacted quickly, kissing me back just as eagerly, pinning me against the kitchen counter. It was sort of odd because I could taste the flour, but I didn't care by this point. I'd never kissed anybody this way before—with so much passion and tongue. I moaned slightly against his mouth as we broke apart, and he chuckled deeply, kissing my neck lightly as I sighed in satisfaction. Then my hands were in his hair, pulling him closer to my mouth…

I don't know how much time had passed, but suddenly, my father's voice called out.

"Lily is something burning?" I heard him ask as he entered through the front door.

We managed to tear apart. I fixed my clothes, but my lips were swollen and my hair a disarray. Plus, I was still covered in flour…as was James. I swallowed. Oh hell, we weren't going to fool anyone—particularly my father. He was sharper than people gave him credit for (ahem, my mother).

"Dad," I managed meekly as he stared at the pair of us.

He blinked.

"James Potter, nice to meet you, Mr. Evans," he said politely.

"Er—hello," he managed, glancing around the kitchen, "Lord, Lily, what happened here?"

"I had a few…issues," I admitted, "Baking…you know," I shrugged, feeling my cheeks pinken as I became embarrassed again.

He nodded, looking around carefully, "Well, I'd better get started on getting this cleaned up. You're mother will have a cow if she's what you've done to her kitchen on Christmas Eve," he sniffed, "Did you burn your hair?"

Urgh.

"Here," I said, cleaning it with a simple '_Scourgify'._

I know, I know, why didn't I do that earlier? Because I'm complete and total wreck, that's why.

But I don't care because I just had the most wonderful snogging session with one Mr. James Harold Potter.

"Well," my father looked at a loss for words, "What have you two been up to?" he asked finally with an accusatory look.

"Just a…er…Christmas gift exchange," I said quickly.

"It's Christmas Eve, Lily. We have company coming," my father said sternly. I frowned. He was just being moody because he guessed what I'd been up to. I sighed.

"Just give us a moment, Dad."

He gave a terse nod, "I'll be just in the next room," he said warningly.

I rolled my eyes, "You'll have to excuse him, he's usually much more...agreeable. He was just surprised…"

"He's not the only one," James grinned at me. His hair—which was always crazy—was even more out of place. His hazel eyes were twinkling at me, "You know, I'd made this whole speech—it was all about why we should be together…and how you need to quit acting all crazy. Now I can't even remember it," he smirked slightly.

"Really?" I asked, unable to hide my grin. He nodded, and I felt like kissing him all over again, "I thought you were still angry with me."

"I probably should be," he admitted, "You drive me crazy, Lils."

I knew that much was true, so I said nothing, I just smiled up at him, hoping I looked somewhat innocent.

"Well, I have something for you as well," he said, handing her a small package, "You can't open it until tomorrow though," he said sternly, "Now. I'm going to go…I think your father's listening at the doorway," he added with a whisper. I giggled, holding the package close.

"Thank you," I said quietly, staring at his lips. He gave me a sly grin before giving me one, slow kiss. I closed my eyes, trying to savor that single moment.

"Happy Christmas, Lily Evans."

"Happy Christmas," I echoed back. I opened my eyes—he was gone.

**A/N: I know, it's been forever! Life has been crazy, but I should be back with much quicker updates. That is the plan! Summer gives me much more free time to write. Haha. :) R/R.**


	26. Mistake 21:Wearing Strappy, Silver Heels

**XVI. Mistake 21—Wearing Strappy, Silver Heels**

I wouldn't miss Sirius' birthday if my life depended on it. When I told my mum that, she just said.

"Well I'm glad your life isn't at stake, dear. Mind handing me my notebook—I'm double checking Petunia's guest list. We want to make sure we order enough invites," she added. My stomach sank. I still hadn't said anything to my family about Vernon's visit.

My mum would die, and Petunia would still somehow find a way to blame it on me.

She would probably think I'd hexed him or something ridiculous like that.

Please.

I don't care enough about Petunia's wedding to try and ruin it.

Besides, I have the capability of being a nice and loving person. I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's wedding! (And yes, anyone even includes Petunia).

Unless…you know, James was marrying someone…like Emmeline. There's an exception to every rule, after all. Urgh. That's a horrible thought. Why would I even think of something like that?

Either way, I am perfectly content. I'd written James, thanking him for the beautiful emerald pendent necklace he'd gotten me for Christmas (I totally cheated and opened it up early...he wouldn't know). I was wearing it right now, actually. My mom asked me where I'd gotten it, and I didn't know what to say. My friend? My boyfriend? We hadn't really…er…talked very much. And I didn't want to ask him in a letter. That just seemed too informal. However, there was no way I was going to see him before New Years, so I was going to have to be content just writing letters to him.

In fact, I was so pleased when an owl arrived until I realized it wasn't James'—it was Marlene's.

I opened it, ignoring Petunia's offended expression as she stalked out of the kitchen.

"Who's it from, dear? Not that _boy_ again, is it?" she smiled secretly at me. I shook my head.

"No, it's only Marlene," I said opening it up. It wasn't very long.

_Lily,_

_You are the worst best friend ever._

_I expect details proto when I arrive Saturday to get ready for the party._

_The better friend, _

_Marlene._

Oops. I think Marlene must've found out. Probably from Sirius. Or quite possibly James himself. I don't know why I hadn't told her. I'd meant to write her right afterwards, but it was Christmas after all. Leave it to Marlene to blow it way out of proportion.

Either way, even Marlene's letter didn't make me feel too guilty. I was just anxiously awaiting for the week to end. I fingered my necklace and sighed.

"That's new," my mother commented suddenly, glancing up at me. I had dodged her comment about it last time.

"Oh—yeah…"

"It's very lovely," she frowned, "Where did you say you got it again—did a boy give it to you?" she asked knowingly, "Was it James? Your father said—" she began.

"Yes," I said quickly, "But, er, I don't really know what it means," I sighed. I can't believe I was about to ask my mother about this sort of thing. I felt my cheeks pinkening, and I made sure to avoid her eye. My mother didn't seem to notice, thankfully.

"Hm," she looked thoughtful, "Usually, jewelry is a good thing, Lily…be a dear and fetch Petunia. I need her to help me with these invites…" I didn't need to, however, because Petunia had come back in. She was glaring at me.

"Is that ruddy owl gone?" she asked, peering around.

"I think the owls are cute," my mother cooed. Petunia looked annoyed at this but said nothing. She glanced at me instead.

"Do you mind?" she asked archly, "Mum and I are busy. Don't you have to practice turning into a toad or something?"

"No…unless you want me to practice on you," I smiled slyly at her.

"Stop it girls," my mother warned, "Lily, why don't you go make sure you have something to wear to your party. Petunia, what have I told you about teasing Lily?"

Teasing. It was more than teasing, I thought bitterly as I headed out of the kitchen, Petunia's glare burning holes in my back.

It was loathing. Petunia loathed me…and I still didn't understand exactly why.

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"Marlene, quit your moping and help me with my dress," I said, laughing at her sullen expression as she sat at the edge of my bed. She had come to get ready at my house before we left for the party, and she was still sulking over the fact that she had to find out about James and I through Sirius.

"Do you know how embarrassing that is?" she asked.

I shrugged, "No. Besides, it was Christmas Eve. How on earth did you find out that fast?"

Marlene smirked, "You didn't expect James to keep it quiet, did you? I wouldn't be surprised if all of Hogwarts knew before we were even back at school."

I swallowed and said nothing. Urgh. I did not care to be the center of gossip. Besides, we hadn't even had the opportunity to clarify our relationship yet. I wondered if that would be inappropriate to bring up during Sirius' party.

No.

I was going to have fun. I was going to have mindless fun in which I would not over-evaluate anything.

I could do that...couldn't I?

"Are you lecturing yourself? It's going to be fine," she assured me, giving me one of her quizzical looks, "You always blow everything out of proportion. Why are you so nervous? You look hot," she added. I was wearing black dress that fell right above my knees. It was rather flowy, but I must admit, I did look rather nice. I was also wearing the emerald pendant James had gotten me for Christmas. Marlene had been a bit jealous ('He got you jewelry?") but admired it all the same.

Eventually, we were done getting ready. Marlene had curled her hair and mine. She was wearing a short, navy sparkly number, and she forced me to wear a pair of her silver heels. I tried to explain that I'm clumsy and therefore not wearing heels seemed like an easy way to avoid disaster, but she wouldn't hear of it. (Besides, they looked a bit much for me.)

"Besides, they make your legs look like they go on for ages," she pushed me, "Ready?"

"I suppose," I muttered ungratefully.

"Hey," she gave me a stern look, "I'm looking out for you. I want James to be the only girl you look at," she snorted, "We can't have him drooling over Vance, now can we?"

"Wait-what?" But she had already apparated. Cursing, I followed in suite, "Marlene," I hissed, "What do you mean? Sirius invited Emmeline?" I demanded. We were out on the Potter's front lawn, and I became momentarily distracted.

He never mentioned he was a millionaire.

Seriously?

His house is huge.

It's a mansion. It's a huge, gigantic mansion. "Since when is James rich?" I asked before I could stop myself. Marlene looked semi-amused.

"You didn't know?"

"Er—no." It had a sprawling lawn, and the house itself was three stories with too many windows for me to count. We walked up to the wrap around white porch where glittering lights were arranged outside for festivity's sake. We could hear the music from inside the house as we reached the door, "I can't believe his parents let him have this party..." I said, grinning.

"They're at the Ministry Ball I'm sure...I mean, they usually have smaller get togethers anyway...I got invited last year but couldn't go since we were spending a holiday in France..."

"You were friends with them then?" I asked, frowning.

"Well, we all play Quidditch together," she shrugged, "You know I always had that love, hate relationship with those blokes."

"Okay, but why is Emmeline here again?" I asked, going back to her previous announcement. I hadn't forgotten about that. How did she manage to get an invite?

"Because," she sighed, "Sirius invited her before she and James broke up, and she told him he couldn't revoke his invitation—don't be so worried," she added, rolling her eyes and knocking on the door. It was opened by a house elf who looked surprised.

"Hello Misses, are you here for the party?" she asked peeking through the door crack. I always have found house elves sort of strange. It sort of unnerved me that James had one.

"Gilly, it's me, Marlene," Marlene smiled at her, "Here's our invitation though if you need it."

"Ah, I'm sorries Misses, please, come in. I'll show you to the party," she said, bowing deeply. She was wearing a hot pink wrap with lots of different colored patches. She was much more colorful than any house elf I'd ever seen.

"Here you are," she said, leading down the corridor to two large doors, "Master Black is inside…" she bowed again, leaving us there.

"Well," Marlene grinned, "Shall we? Apparently we're fashionably late."

"We're not that late," I argued as we entered. Immediately, I was taken aback. Half of the school had to be there! There was a band and people dancing crazily in a swish of sequins and colors. Laughter was loud, bouncing off the high ceilings which I realized were decorated with fairy lights, giving it all such a romantic look. I swallowed, "This is his birthday party?"

Part of me had still been expecting a crowded basement with cake and eighteen candles.

"Last one at the Potter house, I expect," Marlene shrugged, "He wanted to go all out. He even made it a muggle dress code...fortunate for you. I think he's been watching those James Bond movies again for his muggle studies class..."

"He knows Jaems Bond?" I asked in surprise. Marlene nodded and the two of us scanned the room. I spotted Frank Longbottom and Alice Walker and waved, "I'm going to go say hi," I said, grinning.

"You do know Frank is off the market...speaking of which so are you," Marlene began jokingly. I ignored her and went over to chat with them. That was until Marlene began pulling on my arm, trying to convince me to go find Sirius and wish him a Happy Birthday. I eventually agreed and we set out, pushing through people.

"Let's find the boys, I think…ooh," she had stopped at a table and whisked around holding out a glass of what I figured to be— "Champagne," she said breathlessly, "You have to try some Lily—no buts!"

"Marlene," I wrinkled my nose, "I don't really—"

The last time I'd drank had been a glass of wine with my parents on my birthday. Oh the exciting life I live. But really...I wasn't big on that whole scene. There was a reason I skipped Quidditch parties when the boys managed to sneak in firewhiskey.

"You're legal…it's New Years…just one glass," she pushed. I sighed and took it, taking a small sip. It wasn't half bad.

"It's…bubbly," I said shrugging as she waited for my reaction.

"You're hopeless," she sighed, "Anyway…ooh, there's James! But…" she frowned.

"What?" I asked, following her line of vision, "Oh," I said stupidly.

Oh James was right. My heart fluttered at the very sight of him, and then it seemed to drop out of my stomach a fraction of a second later. James was standing by the punch table, nodding at something Emmeline Vance was saying. She laughed all of a sudden, flicking her long, silky brown locks.

I swallowed, trying to control my temper. My first instinct was to march over there and tackle her to the ground.

Somehow, I think that would end disastrously.

Tackling Emmeline would not make me the better person. Tackling her would not make me a better person. Tackling her would not...

"I'll take care of this," Marlene began, glaring daggers in her direction. I stepped in front of her and shook my head. I could do this. I was going to be mature, and I was not going to ruin this night. I'd come here to have a good time with James, and I was not going to let anything silly like this ruin it.

"No—you're…you're just blowing it out of proportion," I muttered. I had to think. I was not going to act like the crazy, jealous girlfriend.

Breathe.

Oh what the hell? I swallowed the rest of my champagne and handed Marlene the glass, "I'm just going to go talk to them—"

"Ladies!"

Sirius Black had stepped into my point of view. He grinned at us, "You look lovely as always, girls. Birthday kiss?" he asked mockingly, pointing to himself.

I huffed, "Not right now, Black."

He raised his eyebrows, "Well fine. You don't need to be snobby on my own birthday, though—"

"Sorry," I muttered, "It's just—er—I need to go talk to James."

"Ah, right," he nodded, grinning impishly, "I heard what happened. About time, isn't it? We've been waiting for the two of you for ages," he sighed, "You know, my grand plan finally worked."

"Your grand plan?" Marlene asked. I gave her an impatient look, and she dropped it, "Well, if you want my suggestion, Black," she smirked at him, "I'd go get your best friend before Lily ends up hexing Vance before the night is over," she glanced casually at her nails as he looked at her in confusion, "Behind you," she added with a nod in their direction.

He swiveled around and rolled her eyes, "Merlin, I hate her—oy! PRONGS!" he yelled loudly, causing multiple people to glance his way—including James. He glanced over, frowning slightly, but then he caught my eye and grinned. He turned and said something to Emmeline who now looked rather sour (to my delight) and pushed his way over.

"Lily!" he beamed, "You look wonderful," he said, bending to kiss my cheek. I blushed and mumbled a thank you before he looked at Marlene, "You too, McKinnon."

She just laughed as Sirius disappeared and returned with four glasses, "A cheers…to me," he said, smirking. He glanced at me for a second, "Now, now, Evans, we're legal so we can't get in trouble for this—"

"I'll have a glass, thank you."

"Yes, Lily's so grown up," Marlene smirked, "She's on her second glass of champagne."

"Really?" Sirius looked pleased, "Excellent. We can be drinking buddies, Evans!"

"I don't think so," James said with a frown that only caused Sirius to chuckle.

"Ignore Prongs. He's just jealous that we're mates and you've like me longer," he said pouring everyone a glass, "Here we go!"

"Ignore him," James muttered in my ear. I laughed quietly, not quite meeting his eyes.

"To Sirius," Marlene said, raising her glass. We all followed in suit.

"Happy Birthday, mate," James grinned at him.

He smirked at all of us, looking thoughtful, "Indeed," he said, taking his glass and draining it. Marlene followed and grinned t him, "Dance?" he asked, holding out a hand to her.

"Only because it's your birthday," she said, rolling her eyes but grinning nonetheless.

We watched them go, and I frowned, "You don't think…"

I didn't get to finish my thought because James was holding out his hand, "Well…would you like to dance, Lily?" he asked, his eyes twinkling. I nodded and looked to my glass of champagne, taking another sip before setting it down. I was not about to drink another whole glass in a matter of ten minutes. Irresponsible. Tonight was going to go without a hitch (as long as I didn't trip in these forsaken shoes).

"Alright then," I nodded, "I suppose…since this is your house and all."

He grinned at me and led me out on the dance floor. Everyone was dancing wildly, and to be honest, I wasn't sure what to do exactly. I wasn't a very good dancer. Plus I was wearing these awful heels that were beginning to make my feet throb. What is the purpose of these forsaken shoes?

It turned out to be alright because of course, James was a good dancer.

What can this boy not do?

Well, he's not very good at wooing girls…until recently. He's also …erm…got very untidy hair.

Horrible traits.

...

What does he see in me again?

"What are you thinking of?" he asked suddenly.

"You—" I frowned, stopping myself, "Your hair. It's all messed up again."

He grinned, "It's always messed up. Trust me. My mum broke her comb one time trying to tame it for my cousin's wedding. Everyone else has given up."

"You're implying I should?"

"Maybe," he twirled me quickly, dipping me and I gasped. "I'm not going to drop you," he assured me, laughing. I felt my face burn and said haughtily.

"You might."

I couldn't help it, I smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. He kissed me back, gently and I sighed against him, "I can't be acting like…like a slag! Everyone from school is here," I said, pulling away, frowning at him. I could feel myself blushing again.

Why do I have to turn the color of a tomato whenever I'm embarrassed or uncomfortable? I really think that's a horrible trait in my gene pool.

He laughed at me, "You're my girlfriend! Of course, you can! And you are not a slag, Lily Evans," he said the last one sternly.

I swallowed, "Girlfriend?"

He frowned deeply, no longer dancing, "Lily—"

"What? We never really clarified anything…just a bit of snogging and, well, snogging can mean anything—"

"What did it mean then?" he asked, crossing his arms.

I peered up at him nervously. Alright. I could do this. I was not going to screw this up. "Are you thirsty?" I asked suddenly, "Champagne, let me get us some—" I pushed by, spotting Sirius and Marlene laughing at something by our table.

"Here," James interrupted, thrusting me a glass, "Now, if you'll please..." he looked annoyed as he waved me on.

Hm. You know, he's impatient. That's a character flaw of his. I knew he had to have some of them. Besides, he's so stubborn and insistent—

"Lily!" he snapped, "Are you going to just stare at that all day?" he asked. I shook my head and swallowed some of the champagne. It was a bit too much, and I shook it off.

"I just…I guess…I mean…you know, I…er…like you."

He wasn't smiling just yet, "Then what's the problem?"

"Er—nothing…I just…it's all so sudden and—"

"It's really not that sudden," he said dryly, "I've liked you for ages."

"Well…I mean…I just…I wasn't even expecting to see you over break. My mind is just…bamboozled!"

"Bamboozled?" he repeated slowly.

"Exactly! So I just wanted to make sure…I didn't know if you were my boyfriend or if you wanted to wait, or maybe I was stupid when I tried to kiss you—" I had been talking way too fast, and he silenced me by bending in and kissing me.

That always works, I suppose.

If he wanted to shut me up. Although I don't see why…we need to have this conversation! It's important…but, I suppose…it could always wait.

Yeah. It could definitely wait.

"I would say get another room, but I can't help but enjoy this immensely," Sirius said with a sigh. We broke apart to see all the Marauders standing there, grinning at us.

"Hey Remus! Peter!" I said, grinning at them.

"Hey Lily," they chorused.

"Congrats," Peter shook his head, "I always thought it was a lost cause."

James rolled his eyes, "Thanks mate."

So. James Potter was my boyfriend.

My _boyfriend_.

Weird.

I never thought I'd say that.

"Yeah, you owe me ten galleons," Sirius reminded Remus.

"Where'd Marlene go?" I asked, deciding to ignore the fact that Sirius and Remus had made a bet about my relationship with James. I honestly shouldn't expect anything else from him anymore.

"Well, she was dancing with Fenprick—"

"Fenwick," I corrected then frowned, "Really?"

"Yeah, he cut in to our dance—" he sighed, "Someone should probably save her…but…er…" he shrugged, "I have to go greet other ladies," he shook his head, "The troubles of Hogwart's most eligible bachelor."

I rolled my eyes, "Hold on, let me go find Marlene—I have to use the bathroom anyway," I said grinning at him, sneaking another kiss.

"You two are going to make me nauseous pretty soon, aren't you?" Sirius asked with a sigh.

I found her rolling her eyes at something that Benjy was saying before interrupting, "Marlene!" I glanced at him, "Oh, hi Benjy—you don't mind, do you? I need to steal Marlene...just for a moment" I said, pulling on her arm and not bothering to wait for his answer.

"Oh I'm so going to kill him!" she mumbled, "I distinctly told him when Benjy was coming that I didn't want to dance with him—he did it on purpose!" Marlene complained.

I didn't bother arguing. She was probably right. After all, this is Sirius Black. I shook my head, laughing, finishing another glass of champagne.

"I don't think I should drink anymore," I giggled.

"James has already corrupted you," Marlene laughed as we knocked on the bathroom door, still giggling to each other.

"Just a moment!" someone said. Then the door opened and we all stared at each other.

"Er—Selene," I said finally, still surprised. Funny running into her outside James Potter's bathroom—couldn't we have saved this for another day? Tonight was supposed to be fun, I thought miserably.

She stared at both of us in surprise. Marlene, however, looked the most shocked.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm Amos' date," she frowned, "Why are _you_ here?" she gave Marlene a haughty look, "Did you decide to become Sirius' new flavor of the week?" she asked scathingly.

Marlene snorted, "Oh please…and don't tell me," she shook her head, staring at Selene with an intense gaze, "You still like him, don't you?"

Selene blushed, "Of course not! I'm perfectly happy with Amos. He's wonderful."

"He's a sleazebag. But then again, that does seem to be your type," Marlene bit. Selene blinked.

"Good to know what I'm not missing," she said, staring at Marlene with distaste. Then she looked at me and shook her head, "And you're just as bad, Lily."

"Excuse me?"

"Stealing Emmeline's boyfriend the way you did—" she shook her head, "You're both terrible people!" she said, her voice unnaturally high.

I glared at her, my fingers itching for my wand. Selene knew me well enough and she smiled slightly, "You're not going to hex me here, Lily. Don't be stupid," she sighed, "For someone so smart you do so many…well…stupid things."

"You know Emmeline didn't have a chance," I interrupted, "And I don't know what's wrong with you or when you became such a bitch, but James has liked me much longer than her—"

Selene just raised her eyebrows, "But he dated her longer than he's dated anyone else. It's possible to love more than one person at a time. How do you know he's not over Emmeline?"

I fell silent, gawking at her.

"You know," Marlene stepped in, "I think we know the Marauders a little better than you. Besides, James is in love with Lily. Emmeline was nothing but a distraction," she said, crossing her arms, "Just like Amos is to you. Criticizing other people's relations, Selene...tsk, tsk. How very hypocritical of you. Yours isn't much to brag about either—"

Marlene didn't get to finish her string of insults. Selene had reached out and slapped her.

Immediately, I had to reach for Marlene who literally might have tackled her. "You're a horrible person, Selene," I spat."

She eyed me and shook her head, "You're going to regret this…both of you. You deserve the consequences that are coming to you," she said, brushing past me while Marlene tried to kick her.

"You should have let me beat the shit out of her," Marlene growled, straightening her dress.

"Probably," I sighed, "It wouldn't have helped."

"I'm so going to snog Sirius in front of her tonight," she continued angrily, "I can't believe her! She used to be the nice one!" She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a lipstick, "I'm just…urgh!" she shook her head then looked at me sadly, "We were best friends, Lily…what the hell?"

I sighed and hugged her, "I don't know—I thought she'd turn around…you know? I never really understood why she was so upset with us. We were her friends...before Emmeline."

God, she just ruins everything, doesn't she?

Marlene cleared her throat, "Well…that was a confrontation I could've avoided," she fixed her makeup and turned to me, "Are you going to drink that?" she asked, pointing to my glass. I was about to say yes, but she had taken it and swallowed the rest of it, "C'mon—I need to go yell at someone…Sirius preferably."

I chose not to argue with her and followed her back. She went off to look for Sirius, and I—well I took a seat. My feet were aching. I'm beginning to think it's a mistake for letting Marlene talk me into wearing these. I should have brought an extra pair. I wonder what James would say if I went barefoot.

Certainly he wouldn't mind?

"Hey Lily," Remus had taken a seat next to me.

"Hey," I grinned, "How are you doing?"

"Good—I just saw Marlene yelling at Mary for dancing with Sirius," he chuckled.

I frowned, "We ran into Selene in the bathroom—she's in a bit of a mood now."

"Hmm," he looked thoughtful, "She was looking for James, I think," he said frowning slightly. I raised my eyebrows.

"Why?"

"I don't know, she asked me where he was, and I said I wasn't sure—"

I sighed and began putting my shoes back on, "I should probably go find them—I don't know what's up with her, but if she's looking for James, she's probably trying to convince me what a horrible person I am or something ridiculous."

"Alright," Remus nodded as I wobbled away. Stupid shoes.

I pushed my way past people, glancing around. Then I spotted them. James was frowning, and Selene had been talking very fast as I approached them. She became silent as I reached them.

"Selene," I said curtly. Then I glanced at James, "Sorry, I took so long—"

"I'll be going," Selene said quickly, not meeting my eye. I frowned at her as she hurried off.

"What—?"

He looked at me for a long moment, wearing a slight frown, "Lily—did you and Sirius try to break me and Emmeline up?"

I stared at him.

Oh dear.

Hyperventilating…this very instant.

"Well," I swallowed, "that could be taken the wrong way…I mean, it's not like…we were…erm…deliberately plotting…well, not entirely—"

He sighed and gave me a look, "I…I need to go talk to Sirius," he muttered, still wearing a deep scowl.

"Wait—James, hold on, let me explain—"

"You don't need to explain anything," he said tightly, ignoring me as I lagged behind him.

"What did Selene tell you, anyway?" I demanded hotly.

"Listen, Lily," he turned looking equally aggravated, "I've put up with a lot of your shit…and I don't know…I just need to breathe for a minute, okay? Let me go talk to Sirius…I'll talk to you later," he muttered the last part, hurrying off before I could try and stop him.

"She's probably blowing it all out of proportion!" I yelled after him, "POTTER!"

A few people glanced my way and rolled their eyes. I know, I always seem to be yelling at him, but that's because the prat never listens!

Angrily, I went and rejoined Remus at the table. He raised his eyebrows.

"Couldn't find him?"

"Oh, I found him alright," I seethed, "With Selene."

Remus looked exasperated, "He doesn't like Selene, there's no reason for you to be—"

"I know," I interrupted shortly, "She told him about Sirius and I planning to break up him and Emmeline."

"Oh," Remus frowned. He was silent for a long stretch of time, "Sirius is such an idiot," he said finally.

"Yeah, well James didn't bother to hear me out and listen to the part where Sirius threatened to make me fail our Potions labs if I didn't comply!"

Remus gave me a look and I sighed, "Okay…okay, so I wasn't against the idea _entirely_, but that was before…well, I didn't like him then and I didn't really care about his feelings and all that dung."

He sighed, "Well, you should probably go talk to him…"

I was distracted, however. I glared, spotting Selene's pale blue dress, "Excuse me, I believe I have to go talk to someone," I said, standing abruptly. Remus tried to stop me, noticing her as well. Poor bloke. I ignored him.

After all, Selene had no business—no right! I mean, given, what I had done may not be the proudest moment of my life…but…urgh! Just when things were beginning to go right...

"Selene!" I snapped, reaching her. She glanced around at me and gave me a fierce look to match. Whatever happened to the calm, tranquil and happy Selene?

"You should've told him. I was just doing what you were too afraid to!" I claim no fault for what happened next. After all, my feet were killing me, I was emotionally unstable, and I'm guessing that drinking champagne was not helping my case. "You're a boyfriend-stealing—" she was saying.

I think that may have been when I hit her.

Oops.

**A/N: A long chapter...with a bit of a cliffy :) Selene's made a bit of a mess, and throw in Emmeline and an irate Marlene...more chaos to come! :)  
**


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